


Of Rain and Thorns

by Five_seas



Series: Nobody Asked For This, I Wrote It Anyway [3]
Category: Shaman King (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 24 hours, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Exes to Lovers, F/M, Ghosts, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote it anyway, PTSD, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romance, Spirits, Trauma, Trauma Recovery, nobody asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:31:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Five_seas/pseuds/Five_seas
Summary: To her, the night of the victory over Hao was the end for them. To him, it was the beginning.En route to her friends' wedding, Ellie remembers the One That Got Away... not anticipating that she would be stuck with him, on a ferry terminal, in the middle of the ocean, for an indeterminate amount of time. Or that he would have a lot of things to say about how they parted ways.Ryu hates unfinished business. He hates having to confront people he cares about, of course, but he also doesn't like being ghosted. When a stormy weather puts him in the same vicinity as the woman who seduced him and then dumped him... well, they have to pass the time somehow?Pass the time, or fall in love all over again.A rather experimental/pretentious riff on Perfect Fifths meets that One Twilight Fanfic I Can't Remember The Name Of. You're welcome.Part four of the Nobody Asked for This series.
Series: Nobody Asked For This, I Wrote It Anyway [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668346
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> For the sake of my own sanity, the ages and timelines have been tweaked a bit in this series. I hope nobody minds.

_ Patch Village, nine years ago. _

No matter what, the apocalypse always happened in summer.

The night of the victory, it was so warm the world seemed to melt around the edges. She remembered sitting outside of the cafe, cold bottle of water pressed against the back of her neck, thinking how anticlimactic it all felt. All around her, the denizens of Patch Village were celebrating, throwing their drinks up in the air and cheering as though their world hadn’t come to a complete end. 

“This’ll take some getting used to,” Sharona said, as she sat by her side. Her bright hair was matted and sweaty, from the fighting earlier or from dancing, Ellie did not know. “The feelings, I mean.”

“Maybe.” She was used to being let down by now, though. It was her _ de facto _ state of being. 

They watched people dance away. The music swelled and crested. She was a rock in the middle of the tide.

“Do we know what they’ll do with the tournament?” Ellie asked, at length.

“No. Although I wouldn’t put it past Goldva to just keep us off the running list, since we threw our match with Hao. Either way, they are telling everyone to go home for now.” Sharona wiped her brow. Then she gave Ellie a speculative glance. “Millie has asked if we give the Lyserg brat a lift to the nearest bus station. You okay with that?”

Ellie shrugged. “If she’s okay, then I’m okay.” Then, “Isn’t he traveling with Yoh and his gang?”

“Something about him not being worthy. Although, I suspect they’ll be flying in different directions, so… airport links are probably a deciding factor.” Sharona checked her nails. “You should probably say your goodbyes tonight.”

The music danced its way around them, laughing, teasing. Lovers - old and new - fell into each other’s arms, high on the euphoria of having survived this calamity and determined not to waste another moment.

Amateurs. The lot of them.

“There’s no-one to say goodbye to.”

“Say it anyway.” Her friend uncrossed her legs and stood up. “You won’t have another chance to do it. We’re heading East, and we are not likely to come back to this place again.”

Yes.

That was probably for the best.

And yet, as she walked through the sweltering night, she couldn’t bring herself to feel regret or sadness that they were leaving. What was there to miss? The endless hours they spent without work, waiting for their match to be arranged? The weeks of humiliation as they trailed after other teams, too weak to find allies? The stress and fear of their fights? As far as Ellie was concerned, this whole endeavor had been a bust. 

One step at a time, she sought a quiet space to think. There was none. In the squares, in the cul-de-sacs, even in the park, there were people celebrating. She felt a pang of anger, realizing that even the lake wasn’t safe, but really, what was she expecting? Hao - the great villain of their generation - had been defeated. For at least 500 years, he was banished to the depths of Hell. 

But at what cost?

She turned to look at the pillar of light that led toward the King of Spirits, waiting to feel connected to something bigger than herself. When she’d first arrived here with the girls, she’d sensed a presence there. Neither benevolent nor malignant, just… there. 

She sensed nothing now. God - or the closest her kind had to it - was asleep.

Looking around, Ellie realized she’d inadvertently wandered into the neighborhood where Yoh’s gang resided. The street party was wilder here than anywhere else, so much so she couldn’t walk back because there were bodies all around her. People pressed at her at all sides, pushing her further and further down the street. Ellie took a slow breath and looked around, fighting the panic, to see if she could sneak into an alley. 

Then there was a whiff of cognac and spices and a warm arm wrapped itself around her waist. “You came,” he said in her ear, breathless and gruff, but unmistakably delighted. Ellie closed her eyes briefly, leaning back against him. 

“Didn’t mean to,” she replied, not sure if the music was drowning out her voice or not.

His hand splayed itself on her stomach, burning even through the layers of clothes. Her head tipped back, exposing her throat to his mouth. Neither of them would allow such liberties in public, but the crowd was so thick around them, the noise so chaotic. No-one would notice. No-one would care.

“You’re shivering,” he noted, with some surprise. Ellie opened her eyes to meet his, but all she could see was a kaleidoscope of color and light. She swayed in his arms like a paper doll.

He muttered a low oath, and in the next moment they were weaving their way out of the crowd, arms and legs intertwined. To any bystander, they were just another amorous couple, but she knew better. _ They both _ knew better.

The next moment, they were in a shadowed alley, her back pressed against a cool wall, her face cradled between his palms. He ran the pads of his thumbs under her eyes. Was she crying? Or was it just the sweat? She had no idea.

“What happened?” he asked. “Who hurt you?”

“Didn’t keep track.” Ellie leaned into his touch. “Had more pressing things on my mind.”

He sighed - in exasperation, in understanding, she wasn’t sure, but he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. At the same time, the din seemed to die down, as someone was trying really, really hard to shout over the noise. “Ryu! Ryu, where did you get to! Come here already, Yoh won’t leave the house with you!”

“That’s Ana-sama,” he said. “I should—”

“Go.” Ellie pushed him gently. “I didn’t mean to pull you from your friends.”

“You girls leaving tomorrow?” 

She shrugged, but it wasn’t convincing enough to him. “Meet me in the morning. We can say goodbye properly.”

“I don’t think I can get away.”

“Come early. I promise, I’ll be there.” He ran his hand through her hair. “Doesn’t matter when. I won’t sleep tonight anyway.”

It wouldn’t make a difference, but before Ellie could say so, he was off again, cutting through the crowd faster than a man reasonably could, leaving her alone and tired.

***

It wasn’t just Ryu, of course. Nobody in Patch village rested that night.

Ellie spent most of the wee hours listening to her friends making plans for the future - talking about rent prices, jobs in different cities, whether there were better opportunities for small business loans in this area or that. Millie dozed on her lap, but every now and again she seemed to start, looking around as though she was expecting something to have changed since she last closed her eyes.

She was fearful.

She was excited.

“Do you think Lyserg would want to take a longer drive with us?” she asked at one point, and Ellie had to bite her tongue against saying that if it were up to her, she’d leave the ingrate in the desert without a twinge of guilt.

“You can ask him. But I’m sure he already has his path mapped out.” Ellie rocked her gently. “Try and rest, okay? We do have to pack the van tomorrow.”

Millie groaned. “And then we’re back to camping. I hate that, Elle.”

"Not keen on it myself, if I'm honest." 

But they didn’t have a choice. Their mad dash here, their dreams of winning the tournament… it had been a lovely diversion, but it was not their final destination. It couldn’t be. They had to carve out a new space for themselves, and it was clear that Patch was not it. 

Two AM passed. Then three. The volume of music outside seemed to lessen, but just slightly. Millie had gone quiet, so she moved her to the bed and started to tuck her in. Just as she was about to slip out into the common room, a quiet, sleepy voice asked: “What about your heart?”

Ellie didn’t ask what that meant.

She kept no secrets from Millie. Not anymore. 

“My heart is where it belongs.”

She meant it, too.

***

Ryu never knew it - and his guardian spirit didn’t either - but Ellie did go to the rendez-vous point. 

Just briefly. She wasn’t there for more than a minute. 

The ground was littered with empty containers and other debris, but he had found a clear spot to doze in, under a large tree. He was leaning on his wooden sword, chest rising and falling evenly, his body a portrait in exhaustion. 

Ellie watched him from afar, drinking in everything - the elegance of his form, the strength, the way in which he seemed to be a point of balance in between all the chaos. She wanted to fantasize about what it would be like, to give in and go wake him up, but even that was dangerous. The tender feelings that were drawing her in were the blades she would slice herself on, once the passion of their reunion died down.

They’d gone too far.

They knew they’d gone too far.

Any attempt at goodbye would have been like slapping a plaster atop of a bleeding, gushing wound. She wanted to wrap this summer in amber and save it, untarnished, close to her chest. She wanted _ him _ to remember her happy and at ease, a fun-loving girl who had given him a bit of fun-loving time. To lift up the curtain now would be just too cruel. 

So, after instructing Kamaitachi to alert Yoh about his whereabouts, Ellie turned on her heel and left.

The real world beckoned. 

Everything else was just fireflies and dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> I also resent that it's Monday again.

_ Present Day, Domino Outer Isles Ferry Terminal _

He was almost certain - or, as certain as one could be about those things - that he nearly got mowed down by his ex-lover.

Ryu rubbed his eyes under his glasses and took another beat to study the woman as she ran toward one of the gates. Granted, his view was almost entirely obstructed by the giant garment bag she was lugging, but there was something very familiar about the shape of her legs, her running form. He _ had _, after all, been granted plenty of opportunities to study her rear as she tried to get away from him.

His foot hit something and he bent over to pick up a bright red scrunchie from the floor. 

_** Tokageroh… **_

_**No, **_ his guardian spirit replied quickly. Too quickly.

_** No, it’s not who I think it is, or no, you won’t tell me?**_

_**What difference does it make? You never listen. **_

Ryu shook his head. The scrunchie was old and stretched, clearly well-loved. It could have belonged to anybody. The fact that it hadn’t been lying on the ground for long meant nothing. He lifted his eyes and saw that the woman had stopped in front of exit 13 and was gesticulating wildly toward the notice board.

_** I thought you over this, **_ Tokageroh growled… or whined, Ryu wasn’t entirely sure. 

Both were equally possible. Even though he’d been firmly of the opinion that what happened in the desert stayed in the desert, he had still started for a full year when he thought he recognized Ellie Ward in a crowd. Every glimpse of blonde hair, cat eyes, or the color green made his heart beat a little bit faster. Small wonder his guardian spirit was exasperated.

_** I just want a closer look. **_

_**Lyserg isn’t here to bail you out on stalking charges. **_

_**Lyserg has never had to bail me out of anything. **_

_**It’s been nearly a decade already, Ryu. Get over it. **_

That was true. And yet, the old saying held true. You never forgot the person who broke your heart the first time.

Or the second.

Or, as was in this case, the third.

*

“Go.”

It was a testament to how he was used to Anna’s commands that he almost didn’t notice her order. Then the rest of his brain caught up and he looked up from the meal he was preparing to find the mistress of the onsen staring at him, arms crossed.

“Ana-sama?” 

“Are you this bored?” she asked, her death aura darkening further. “Or have you lost all respect for me?”

“Neither, mistress,” he said, drying his hands quickly. He knew as well as anybody when Ana was handing him a rope. The key thing was not to hang himself with it completely. “Where would you like me to go to?”

“My son has been telling me you’ve been getting itchy feet again. Daydreaming about a major trip across the world. Is that true?”

He had, indeed. But he was also the head chef of the onsen, and he was also Hana’s guardian when his parents were not there. Even if income hadn’t gone through the floor this last year, a long field trip was low on the list of his priorities.

Ana didn’t think so.

“Go.” She emphasized her point by grabbing the knife and elbowing him out of the way. 

“Ana-sama, I can’t just abandon my duties.”

“Am I telling you to do that?” she asked, eyes narrowed dangerously. “Take two weeks. Or three. You have enough time saved up. And if you keep skipping your holidays, the Department of Labor is going to slap us with a fine that’ll keep us in the red forever.”

“You know they’re too scared of you to do that,” he said, gently.

Ana scoffed. “And as for your _ trip _,” she spat the word out, “you might as well get it out of your system before winter season kicks in. If you think you can mope around here when we’re dealing with the Christmas crowd, then you’ve got another thing coming.”

Leave it to the mistress to order him into a holiday, regardless of whether he liked to or not. 

*

Despite the initial guilt he’d felt about hitting the road, he had to admit that Ana (and Tamao, when she’d caught wind of the plot) had been right. Late September meant most holiday-goers had gone home, the big conferences hadn’t fully kicked off yet, and students had mostly reached their respective schools and universities, leaving the usual travel sites quiet and calm and perfect for exploring. He’d hired a motorcycle and traveled the desert for a while, and when that had gotten a bit old, he’d hit the coastline. Now he was pretty much island-hopping from one place to the next, taking the ferry and hiring whatever bike or car suited his mood best on the spot. He’d eaten at some fantastic places, traded tips with bikers and chefs alike, and had wonderful fun. 

He was a little bit sad to think about returning to the onsen. Just a twinge. But he’d gotten to a point where he felt… content. Pleased that he’d taken the time off, but excited to go back to his people again.

Now, though, as he was walking across the terminal, the old disquiet reared its ugly head again. 

_ **This is gonna end badly, **_ Tokageroh muttered.

_** So it is her then? **_

His guardian spirit went silent.

Not that Ryu needed more confirmation. He was close enough to hear the woman talking to the guard at the gate, and her voice was very, _ very _ familiar.

“Yes, I can see the forecast,” she was saying, exasperated. “But I’m going on a private charter. I can see the boat right there. Surely they are going to leave on schedule.”

Her argument was futile, but then again, maybe she didn’t travel by boat very often. If she’d asked him, Ryu might have informed her that no-one sailed in these waters when the winds picked up over a certain speed. Larger ferries didn’t have to worry about that, but smaller ones - like the one she was trying to get on - were very susceptible to sudden changes in weather. In open sea, the winds turned faster than anyone expected. No captain worth their salt would take a boat out if they weren’t sure they could reach a safe harbor on time.

“Sorry, miss,” the guard was saying. “This is marina policy. It’s not up to the individual vessels to determine that.”

She clenched her fists. As if sensing that a hissy fit was about to happen, the guard added quickly, “Look, I’ll ask the management. But I can’t promise you anything.”

Then he lowered the barrier between the main area and the corridor, as if worried she might hijack the boat anyway.

_** Remind me again what you ever saw in her? **_ Tokageroh asked, as Ryu cleared his throat.

“Um, excuse me? I believe this is yours?”

She froze, her spine straightening as though some invisible puppeteer had jerked her strings. Then she slowly turned around, and despite getting his hopes up earlier, the second he saw her face, Ryu was momentarily stunned. 

Over the years, he’d had his fair share of embarrassing moments; thinking he saw her in a crowd only to have to apologize and claim mistaken identity. It had gotten to the point where he thought he’d forgotten her features. That, somehow, they had started to blur together with all those of people he’d met after, to the point where he wouldn’t tell it was her if they passed on the street.

Now, he knew that was not the case. 

Her hair was different, longer and cut in a flattering way. The years had sharpened her features, getting rid of any lingering baby fat and adding more lines. But the eyes were the same, as was her cheeks and mouth and nose. Age had taken what was a charming face and made it striking.

And now she was staring at him. And he couldn’t remember what on earth had possessed him to go after her.

_** Hair tie, **_ Tokageroh supplied, clearly disgusted. 

His hand jerked a little and he held out the red scrunchie. 

Silence stretched. He was starting to worry that he’d already done something to offend her, when she spoke.

“Ryu?” 

_** Thank all the demons above and below, we didn’t have to say it. **_

“I wondered if it was you,” he said, trying to put on a friendly smile.

Her mouth opened and closed. 

He wondered if it was the shock of seeing him or whether his appearance was bothering her. He had been on and off various boats for the last three days and hadn’t had much of an opportunity to shave or style his hair. His clothes were clean but his favorite jacket was torn from where he’d taken a tumble off a bike a week ago, and he hadn’t had a chance to fix it yet. He probably looked more like a bum than anything else.

“So, it’s not yours?” he asked, finally.

“What is?”

“The hair tie.”

Her hand flew to her head and ran through the long blonde locks. She winced as if she’d just realized something was missing.

“I am an idiot,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“It’s no big deal.” Their fingers brushed against each other and he was mildly surprised to feel the callouses on hers. 

The security guard chose this moment to return. 

“Boss-man says it’s a no-go,” he snapped at Ellie, looking between her and Ryu. “No-one’s leaving the pier until the wind calms down.”

Her nostrils flared and she looked like she was about to argue. Then, almost as quickly as the flash of temper had come, her face was placid again. “Thank you for taking the time to check anyway,” she said, and bowed as much as the garment bag she was lugging would allow. “I appreciate it.”

The guard scoffed, but he seemed placated. “Look, I can’t promise anything, but the captains will consider sailing today if the storm doesn’t roll in by four in the afternoon. Come back then and maybe you’ll get lucky. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

She looked at the sky. Her eyes became mildly glazed. “I won’t be,” she said. “But thank you. I’ll come back.”

Then, with a nod to Ryu, she walked away. 

*

_** Well, glad that’s over and done with, **_ Tokageroh said. _** Are you happy to be over her now? **_

Ryu was sat at the passenger chairs, arms crossed. His bag was at his feet. 

Now would have been a good time to find a corner store and stock up on food, before going to find a place to stay the night. His eye was on the sky as well, and though it was still cerulean blue, the clouds were rolling in. He’d been caught out in a tropical storm, and it was not an experience he wanted to repeat. 

_** Please don’t tell me you’re waiting to see if she’s fine, **_ Tokageroh groaned. _** Need I remind you what she did to us the last time?**_

_**She did nothing to you, my friend.**_

_**She hurt you. That hurts me, too. **_

Ryu bit his lip. Then he rose up and started to head for the exit.

His guardian spirit was crude and mean but he did have a point. Ryu wasn’t a child anymore. If Ellie wanted to live forever at seventeen, that was her business. 

Then he saw her.

She was sat at the balcony, her luggage still on her back, speaking on a phone. She was turned away from him, but her shoulders were haunched, her whole body seemingly curling in on itself against some kind of invisible blow. And though he’d just been pissed off about her inability to say hello or how are you to him, he started walking towards her again. 

_** You’ve gotta be kidding me. **_

_**Just humor me. **_

His guardian gave him a filthy look, but shot ahead, allowing Ryu to experience the world a little through his senses.

Ellie’s voice was cheerful, completely contradicting her posture. “…and there’s a chance I can still be there before tonight. No, really, I’m fine. There’s no need to worry about me, Mills. You look after yourself, okay? Yeah. Yeah, I’ll wait and see how it goes.”

There was a pause, as Ryu came closer. 

“No, sweetie, I haven’t had any visions.”

Liar. She was tapping her foot. 

Of course, it was possible that she had gotten better at hiding her tells, or that she was getting impatient with the conversation, or that she wanted to pee. Hell, Ryu hadn’t known her all that well back when they were younger, had he? He’d been convinced he’d figured her out entirely, and then she’d turned around and sucker-punched him in the throat.

Now, she was turning to look at something in the horizon, and she was tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. He forced himself to hold still, but he wasn’t exactly the sort of man that blended into the woodwork. She must have noticed him with her peripheral vision, because she turned and met his eyes.

_** To stand there like a creep or to retreat? That is the question. **_ Tokageroh whispered in his mind.

Ryu did neither. 

He kept on walking toward the balcony.

“Yes,” Ellie whispered. “I’ll call you as soon as I have news.”

There was a burst of noise from her phone as he pushed the door open and stepped outside in the fresh air. The sea breeze blew right in his face, making him wish for his glasses, and whipping his hair around his face awkwardly. He tried to keep the black mass out of his face but it was a lost battle.

Ellie’s lips quirked and she offered him the scrunchie without losing focus from what was being said on the phone. “Love you all, too,” she said. “I promise I’ll be safe.”

She tapped her foot three times in one sentence.

Ryu wasn’t sure which statement was the lie.

Although, if he had to be honest, there had been a time when he'd thought her incapable of love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or... well. This is actually mostly set in the Shaman King verse, isn't it? I don't own Yu Gi Oh either, though.

_ Patch village, nine years ago _

“The hair is back.”

Ellie didn’t get up to join her friend at the window, looking instead at Millie. Sprawled out on her bed, her hair tied in a messy ponytail, she looked utterly and completely dejected. 

“That means things are on the up and up,” Sharona added. “Maybe he and Lyserg even settled their differences.”

“Huh.”

“I’m trying to cheer you up, pipsqueak. Now is not the time for attitude.”

Ellie sighed and returned to doing her nails. 

Everyone had been trying to cheer Millie up - more so now than usual - seemingly oblivious to the irony of the situation. As far as she was concerned, Lyserg was the cause of all this misfortune, and his allegiance to the fucking death cult right outside Patch was the reddest of red flags he could drape over himself. Every minute he spent with the X-Laws was a gift because he wasn’t hurting the one who was dearest to her.

_ But, Ryu’s happy, _ she conceded, wrinkling her nose. _ So I suppose that’s good. _

She’d been smelling wildflowers all day, which was weird. None of them had money to spend on decor, and none had the guts to go picking things in the meadows either. She asked several times if someone had changed their soap or perfume, and every time she’d gotten blank looks all around.

Odd.

“What do you think will happen now?” Millie asked, in a voice so grim it could have been mistaken for a ghost’s. “Now that the Gate is broken, I mean.”

The room went quiet, the attention subtly shifting from one Ward to the next. Ellie sighed, setting down her nail file. “I haven’t seen anything,” she said. “Nothing of consequence, anyway.”

Story of her life, really.

She got glimpses of the future - a sound, a taste, the feel of someone’s hand in hers - but they were rarely accompanied by context, and often came too late to be useful. To call it clairvoyance was a cop-out: it was lucky guesses and best, and she could barely harness it.

Case in point: the Gate of Babylon. She had sensed it, as had everyone else when they arrived. She’d known there was a bad omen attached to it. Could she guess the outcome of last night’s battle? The answer was a resounding no.

“If I had to guess,” she went on, lacing her fingers together, “I’d say the fight would continue.”

Lilly snorted. “Do you now? Or are you trying to _ spare _ us all again?”

Ellie flinched. “You said you weren’t going to bring this up again,” she said. “You promised.”

“Yeah well… forgive me if survival is high on my mind right now.”

There was a noise from the corner and they turned to find Millie sitting up in bed. In one hand, she was holding a ratty purple ribbon. “Nobody but the X-Laws ever said it, but they were all hoping Jeanne would win. They were all hoping the gate would stop Hao.” She jumped off of the bed and handed Ellie the piece of fabric. It was some kind of silky synthetic material, cheap but still beautiful in its own way. 

She ran her fingers over it, trying to trigger some kind of vision. None came.

“I can’t tell you what happened,” she said, finally. “I’m sorry.”

“Perhaps it’s less complicated than we’re making it out to be.” Sharona walked away from the window, adjusting her hair. “Hao was playing by the rules because it suited him, but also because he had a modicum of respect for the council.”

“You’re saying he doesn’t now?”

Their leader shrugged. “He knows he can have a death match right on their doorstep and open an ancient portal to a world between worlds, and nobody would lift a finger. How soon do you think it would be until he decides he’s had enough of their rules and attacks.”

Millie sniffled and buried her face in Ellie’s side. She squeezed her shoulder. “What will we do?”

“As if there is a choice,” Sally said, looking fierce.

Once upon a time, Ellie might have agreed with her. Back when their only concern was survival and their first policy was to run before trouble truly caught up with them. But now…

“If we run,” Sharona said, calmly, “and Yoh wins over Hao, it’s no big deal. But let’s face it, his chances of winning were always pretty slim.”

Millie whimpered even louder. 

“If Hao wins… no matter where in the world we go, we will not be able to escape him.” Sharona wrapped her arms around herself, as if that would somehow make the statement more bearable. “We already rejected him and his ideas once. We also threw our match against him. There’s no way we’d be able to talk ourselves out of this one, girls.”

“So what the hell do you offer we do? Blow the rest of our money in this dump and just party like it’s the end of the world?” Sally asked, kicking her chair away.

“We can’t run, and we can’t be paralyzed,” Sharona said. “Our best bet is to stay here and sway the odds in Yoh’s favor if we can.”

“Yoh wiped the floor with us without breaking a sweat,” Lilly pointed out, while Sally turned her fury on the wall instead. “We’re hardly the cavalry.”

That, too, was true. 

To an extent.

None of them were experts in offensive kinds of attacks. They could, however, take a pummeling like no other, a little fact that was lost on the entire village. They could shield others in a fight. They were assets in a melee. They’d never shown it, because that was not what the tournament was really about.

“I’m in no position to order you around,” Sharona said. “I would never, ever, ask you to die. If you wish to leave, then you are free to do so.” She took out the keys to the car and laid them out on the table. “But as far as I am concerned, I have made my decision.”

“The Hell!” Sally snapped. “I’m not leaving you to die without someone watching your back.”

“Ditto,” Lilly said. “At least my Oversoul can be useful to scout out the fights.”

Ellie swallowed, looking down. The idea of abandoning her friends turned her stomach.

Millie tugged at her shirt. “Elle? What do you think?”

“What do I think?” she caressed her hair. “I think I’d like you, at least, to have a chance to live, munchkin.”

There was silence from the other girls as they waited for the two to come to a decision.

It was, unfortunately, a very short deliberation.

“If we leave,” Millie whispered, hugging her again, “We’d have to go back from where we came from, won’t we? And if we do—” She inhaled, not able to finish the sentence. “I’d rather stay,” she said. “I want to be with you guys.”

Ellie kissed the top of her head. “So you have spoken,” she said. “So it shall be.”

*

Despite herself, she was surprised - and mildly annoyed - when he asked to see her. The message, relayed from Tokageroh to Kamaitachi, and from Kamaitachi to her, didn’t give her much to work with: Ten o’clock, same place as before. He could have been arranging a dentist appointment for all she could tell.

Still, she showered, put on clean underwear, and arranged for Sharona to keep an eye on Millie while she was out. Her leader didn’t ask any questions.

By this point, there were none to be asked. Everyone was coping in different ways tonight. 

Ellie found him in the forest near the lake, sat with his back against a tree that was probably older than this country. Ryu’s cheek was bruised and there was a bandage running over his arm and chest, but his gaze was alert and alive. A far cry, then, from the zombie she’d seen not twenty-four hours ago. 

_ Lyserg Diethel, you have more than one broken heart to answer for. _

“How’s your head?” she asked, when she was close enough to speak. 

“Haven’t had any complaints.” 

“Well, at least your sense of humor is intact.” She cocked her head to the side. “You are okay, right?”

“Do you need to have a closer look? I won’t mind.”

Ellie rocked forward a little and then lowered her weight until she was kneeling next to him. Bracing her hands on either side of his hips, she made a show of studying his chest, shoulders, and neck without actually touching him. 

Of course, that was about as useful a medical examination as was one on television. That wasn’t the point of the game. 

“I suppose Faust did a decent job of patching you up,” she said, sitting back on her heels. “I could have done better.”

“I’m sure you would.” He smiled, then, much to her surprise pushed off the ground and helped her back to her feet. “Come on. I’ve had three couples pass me by in this part of the park. I doubt they will be the last ones.”

_ Then why are we heading towards the populated areas, _ Ellie wondered, but didn’t speak the words out loud. He held her hand the whole way through the dark alleys and streets. Even though they’d been fucking on and off for weeks and nothing they ever did phased her as much as having him hold her hand. 

Ryu knew that. He was the most observant oblivious person she’d ever met.

“Didn’t realize you were looking to get killed,” she remarked when he took a key out of his pocket and unlocked his residence. “Or has Ana relaxed her stance about guests?”

“She’s out tonight,” Ryu said. “The others are trying to get the council to take action against Hao.”

“Not you?”

“No. Not me.” 

They looked at each other in the dim light coming off the street. Then the door clicked shut and they were left in utter darkness, their breath the only sign the other was still there.

Then she found him, running her fingers up his sides, careful not to apply too much pressure on his wounds. There was a quiet sigh, then he scooped her up until her legs were wrapped around his waist. Her skirt rode up in a way that might have been indecent, but she didn’t care. They weren’t picky, not really. Often, their encounters ended up with her underwear shoved to the side and him fucking her against whatever flat surface they could get to the fastest. 

The mood was different tonight, though.

After hauling her up like a piece of luggage, all he did was kiss her, long and thorough, while his hands ran over her back and thighs. At first she wondered if his injuries were worse than he let on. Then he started walking, carrying her not just over the threshold of the house but up a flight of stairs, too.

“I can’t tell if you need me to be gentle with you, or you’re just thumbing your nose at your roommates right now,” she said in his ear.

“Can’t it be both?” Another door opening and closing, and this time he double-turned the lock. She caught another whiff of those damned wildflowers, but she only had a moment to be annoyed at her powers before he knelt down, depositing her on his bed.

The blinds were drawn back, leaving her in darkness but illuminating every detail of him as he carefully unzipped her boots and set them aside. His palms lingered on her calves and knees, noticing that they were still bruised from the last time.

“Come here,” she asked. “It’s nothing.”

Ryu shook his head no. 

Ellie reached forward and opened his shirt. His skin was black and blue in places, with cuts marring the entirety of his right side. She could have made some quip about him having his priorities wrong, but she didn’t have the energy for that. Instead, without breaking his gaze, she sent her spiritual energy out and into him. 

He sighed and gripped her legs in warning. “You don’t have to…”

“Shut up.” 

It was easy enough to look at Ryu - with his old-fashioned clothes and gigantic hair - and dismiss him as a clown. She’d done that very thing, after all. If they were indeed about to go into a death match against Hao, she wanted to offer him something in apology. The opportunity to fight with his strength recovered, if nothing else.

He took her hands in his own as the most visible injuries faded, kissed the palms and then captured both her wrists in one hand. Pressing them against her belly, he kept her immobilized while his other hand slid up her thigh. Ellie let herself fall back, submitting to the caress, glad to be back to their old game. Something soft pressed against her cheek, and she opened her eyes to find a marigold on the bedspread.

She inhaled, realizing that she wasn’t just having another olfactory hallucination. The bed was covered in flowers - white poppy, pink primrose, desert marigold. _ Of all the useless visions, _ she thought, tearing up in frustration. 

“What would you have done if I couldn’t come out?” she asked.

Ryu paused, before kissing the inside of her thigh. “You did, though.”

“But what if I hadn’t?”

No answer. None was needed. 

She clenched her jaw and screwed her eyes shut. Even as her body responded to his touch, she could feel the familiar panic rising up at the back of her throat. _ This isn’t real. This isn’t right. You’re leading him on. This is your fault. Your fault. Your fault. _

“Ellie?”

When had they moved? She didn’t know, but they were both sat on the floor now, her body cradled in his arms. She was covered in sweat, but felt none of the release of lovemaking. 

“Thank goodness,” he whispered, when she met his eyes. He kissed the top of her head. “Where did you disappear off to?”

The concern in his voice was too much. She didn’t deserve his care, or affection, or a bed of flowers. She didn’t have any love of her own left to give. And she didn’t want to start now - as a madman was about to seize power. It was just too depressing for life.

“I shouldn’t have come out,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

He kissed the top of her head.

“Don’t apologize. I didn’t think at all when I called you out,” Ryu said. “We’ll have all the time in the world when this is over.”

He was misunderstanding her completely, and she was happy to let him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King... or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> I doubt I'd make much money for the shows if I did.

_ Present Day, Domino Outer Isles Ferry Terminal _

“Think it’ll blow over?” 

Ellie squinted at him, like she wasn’t entirely sure why he was still there. 

It was strange. Nearly a decade had passed, and she could still render him to an awkward mess just by standing there. Back in the day, he’d assumed it was raging lust that got the better of him; but then time had passed, he’d fallen in and out of love again, and he’d realized the truth.

She just had a special talent. A talent for making people feel worthless.

_** You brought this on yourself, **_ Tokageroh muttered in his ear, before disappearing completely. 

_** Traitor. **_

Maybe it was for the best that this was so awkward. Their last real encounter in Patch had been too emotional, too… tragically romantic. It was much better for his memory of her to be stilted and unpleasant, that way he could know for sure what kind of bullet he’d dodged.

“Hey, I’m not trying to bother you,” he said, adjusting his backpack over his shoulder. “You just looked really upset. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“What?” she blinked, once, twice. Then the sun came out from over a cloud and he noticed her pupils shrinking again. 

Now he really did get angry. “You didn’t hear a word I was saying, did you?” He could deal with her not saying hello or goodbye, but could she not do him the courtesy of pretending to pay attention?

“Sorry, I… you asked me if I thought it might blow over and--.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. “I’m really sorry. No, in fact, I… I think we probably need to get indoors.”

_** You utter moron. **_ Ryu wasn’t sure if it was him or Tokageroh that said it, or if the two of them were just that synched up. 

Inside the terminal, the announcement boards were going red one after the other. The queues that had been forming not half an hour ago were quickly redirecting towards the customer services desk, all the while the marina employees were running around outside, ensuring that the storm safety checks were being carried out as fast as possible. Ryu was suddenly very glad that he hadn’t left the building - he’d assumed he had time to get both food and a hotel. Now, as it rapidly got dark outside, he could tell just how off-base his first ballpark had been.

“I take it you’ve been getting better visions lately,” he muttered quietly. 

Ellie made a face. “Marginally,” she said. “What do you think—”

A crack of thunder made her yelp and jump a little bit. On cue, the rain started to fall rapidly outside. 

Two seconds later, an announcement came through the loudspeakers.

** Dear passengers, we regret to inform you that all departures have been postponed until further notice. Please make your way to your accommodation, or standby for future updates. **

“As if we were going somewhere else.” Ellie sneered. 

Ryu raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure you’ll find a place that will fit your standards,” he said. “Most these islands have lovely hotels.”

There was a flash of temper in her dark eyes, and for a moment, he felt heat rising in his own belly in response. 

“I’m sure you know best,” she said, looking at the duffel he had thrown over his shoulder. Then she straightened up. “Thank you for checking on me. It was… nice to see you again. Good luck on the rest of your trip.” Then she flounced off, hair bouncing with every step.

_** Some things never change, **_ Tokageroh said. _** Comforting, that. **_

Ryu nodded absent-mindedly, even as the storm picked up and the wind started to beat against the windows. He considered the customer services queue - too long, and anyway they couldn’t tell him anything he couldn’t learn from his pocket guide. He then looked at the line that was forming for taxis - slightly more promising, although if his experience was any indication, the trip in the storm was likely to be a lot more dangerous than staying put.

Resigning himself, he found an empty bench and started to make himself more comfortable. Honestly, even with this unexpected hiccup, he was in a far better position now than he’d been on several occasions in his life. He was warm, he was dry, and if push really came to shove, there was an open cafe AND plenty of snack machines to keep his energy up. There had been times during the tournament where he’d slept in the cab of a truck or in the middle of the desert…

…kind of like how Ellie had. 

He frowned, the flash of unease making him sit forward and brace his elbows against his knees. 

_** You can’t tell me you’re feeling guilty for saying that, are you? **_

Oh, but he was. Just two seconds before, they’d been talking… not cordially, per se, but at least as old acquaintances. Then he’d made his comment about the hotels and she’d shut down again, even faster than the first time. It was as though everything that came out of his mouth irritated her.

_** And that is your problem… how, exactly? **_ his guardian spirit prodded on. _** I thought you decided you were done with her bullshit years ago. It’s not your job to try and figure out what Princess over there is thinking at any given time. **_

Ryu let his eyes wander though the terminal. Across the floor, he could see Ellie disappear into one of the ladies’ rooms, conveniently located as far away as possible from him. The fact that she had passed two equally suitable bathrooms? He was sure it had _ nothing _ to do with where he was.

Tokageroh claimed that it wasn’t his job to figure out Ellie, and that was true; in fact, he could distinctly remember how, back in the day, she’d been one of the few people who could evade his ability to read them at a glance. For someone who prided himself on seeing past the surface, that opacity grated on him more than he cared to admit. 

_** Maybe there isn’t more to see about her, have you thought about that? **_ Tokageroh said in exasperation. _** Maybe she is just as shallow as she appears to be. **_

Maybe. But he doubted it. 

The dig about the hotel was unwarranted. Setting aside the fact that he didn’t know if she could afford an unexpected accommodation, Ryu had no reason to assume that she was concerned about her comfort levels, luxury or otherwise. As far as he could tell, the Lilly 5 had lived out of their car during the tournament. Even in Patch village, they’d only moved into one of the accommodations on the eve of their fight with Hao. 

_** Screw it. I give up. **_ Tokageroh said, when he stood. 

_ ** Before you do, can you tell Kamaitachi I want to apologize to her mistress? ** _

***

The trick about loitering without attracting attention was to look busy. When his phone was working, he pretended to surf the Internet. When he didn’t have a charge, as he did right now, he held his guidebook to the islands. 

Let’s see… where could he go, if the ferries restarted tomorrow?

Five minutes passed. Then ten. He was starting to wonder if there wasn’t another exit from the ladies’ room. He didn’t put it past Ellie to climb out of an actual window to get away from him, but she seemed protective of her luggage and he couldn’t imagine her just throwing it around willy-nilly.

A security guard gave him a suspicious look; Ryu responded with a friendly smile and a ‘how are you?’ It was a hit-and-miss technique, but it worked in this case. The guy shuffled off. 

“Still making friends left and right, I see.” 

He breathed a sigh of relief and turned to face her. “Only sometimes,” he said, noting her red eyes and pinched expression. Her makeup was freshly applied, and she looked like she was just daring him to comment on it. 

He wasn’t going to. He sincerely doubted there was anything he could say that could make _ her _ cry, and every thing he’d seen her do since she ran past him indicated she had bigger fish to fry. So Ryu focused on the now:

“I’m sorry about earlier. That was dick move.”

“Apology accepted, I guess,” she said.

“Would you be open to a suggestion?”

“Can I say no?”

“Always. However—” he paused, as a particularly vicious crack of thunder sounded from outside “—I figure you might hear it out at least, for old time’s sake.”

There wasn’t a need to elaborate further. Even if she clearly found it distasteful, she gestured for him to continue.

“I’ve been traveling around the archipelago a lot these last few weeks,” Ryu said. “Storms like these are vicious and they last a very long time. We could take our chances and venture outside, but it will take each of us a while to find a place to stay. Ditto for cafes and restaurants. The supermarkets are probably drawing their shutters as we speak.”

“Yes, I live on the coast,” Ellie interrupted, exasperated. “Your point?”

“We’re stuck here for the next few hours. Would you like to get coffee with me?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Coffee?”

“Or tea. Or sparkling water, if you prefer.” He shrugged. “The establishments in the terminal have no reason to close. They know they will make a profit no matter what the weather is. We might as well get a head start on the other passengers.”

Ellie glanced past him and fiddled with the strap of her backpack. “That’s all well and good, but why would you want to have coffee with _ me? _” She was careful with how she put the emphasis, as though she could sense just how the sentence could come off otherwise.

“Why wouldn’t I?” With her attention snapping back to him, he made an effort to look nonchalant. “Come on, Ellie. We’re not kids anymore. We have a lot of mutual friends to talk about. It beats sitting around and worrying about when the rain would stop.”

“You remember?”

“I remember everything.” He wanted to offer his elbow, but he was afraid that would cross the line from friendly into overly familiar. And he was genuinely curious. Even with Tokageroh’s warnings, he was always curious.

Ellie seemed to be counting her breaths, inhaling slowly and exhaling even slower. One. Two. Three. “I suppose I owe you a coffee at least,” she said. 

Ryu smiled and stepped aside, waving his hand. “Ladies first.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own either of the properties referenced here, nor the properties that were used as inspiration, nor the fics that also served as inspiration...
> 
> Look, this is a fucking hodgepodge of styles. I wish my original stuff was nearly as interesting. 
> 
> Episode referenced: 53 of the Shaman King series.

_ Patch village, nine years ago _

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“_ Keep my voice down? _ You’re going into a suicide match and you are worried about my keeping my voice down?”

This is what she got for coming out, Ellie thought. Really, that confrontation in the cafeteria should have warned her that this would happen. She should have ignored Ryu’s message and stayed in…

…except for all she knew, he’d show up at the lodgings, and then she’d have to suffer through a scene in front of everyone on her team, plus all of their neighbors. Easier to have this done in private, she decided, crossing her arms and giving him a look that she reserved for Millie when she threw a tantrum. 

“You made your feelings known earlier,” she said. Her tone could have made Team Iceman shiver. Ryu just glared. “Have you actually got something to say to me? Because I have better things to do tonight than have you read me to riot act.”

“Goddamn it, Ellie, I’m trying to help. Hao doesn’t need a reason to kill anybody, and you girls already pissed him off.”

She bristled. How dare he? How dare he bring _ that _ time up? 

It was bad enough when she remembered being in league with that psychopath, if only for a few hours. She didn’t need him of all people throwing it in her face. 

“Nobody has bested him in a battle,” Ryu went on. 

“Just because something hasn’t been done before doesn’t mean it’s impossible.” She cocked her chin. “We could easily succeed when others have failed?”

“Every last one of his opponents thought that, and they ended up dead! Please, Ellie. You five barely survived the X-Laws, and they weren’t even trying to kill you. You’ll be walking into a bloodbath tomorrow.”

Did he think she didn’t know that? Did he assume all she did was sit on her ass in the cafe, talk big game? She’d watched every one of the matches in Patch, including his - she knew there wasn’t any team with the skills she and the girls brought to the table. They’d suspected they were atypical contestants on the first round, but now they knew for sure - fighters like them either didn’t enter the competition or were culled before they were even given Oracle Bells. 

Yes, they had barely survived the X-Laws. Yes, they were weaker than Hao. 

But they’d also beat worse odds. Ryu thought that having a skyscraper of an Oversoul was all there was to being able to see ghosts, which was why both his team and Ren’s were looking for grains of rice in the damn desert. Cocky, arrogant, self-righteous bastard.

“If you don’t care for your own goddamn life,” he was saying, “think about Millie’s. Regardless of whether she goes into that arena or watches from the side, she’ll be all alone, and this time, you won’t be able to come back to her.”

Her hand whipped out, faster than the eye could see. 

He saw it.

Ellie growled as he caught her, her open palm a hair’s breadth from his face. From the look in his eyes, he’d been expecting something like that. 

She didn’t care.

“Who do you think I’m doing this for?” she asked, voice shaking. “When was the last time I went into a battle for the fun of it?”

“This is exactly why you should throw the match.” He pulled her against his chest, catching her other hand when she tried to hit him with it. “This is so unevenly matched, it’s not even funny. You girls don’t fight when you know you will lose.”

“We don’t fight when we don’t have to. Big difference.” Ellie stomped on his foot, finally scoring a point. He responded by tightening his hold on her and pushing her up against a tree. 

Despite the precarious position, she wasn’t afraid. Ryu was physically her superior, but he would rather cut his own arm off before he actually harmed her. How many times had he trapped her between his body and some vertical surface and fucked her until she screamed? It wasn’t his preference, but he obliged her. True gentleman shit, that. 

“Please,” he whispered, sounding broken. “Please don’t do this.”

Ellie craned her head and met his eyes. “You guys fight Hao,” she said. “You are always training in preparation to fight him. If you were faced off against each other, you would never throw the match.”

“Yoh-dono has a chance to win.”

She chuckled quietly. “Funny thing, chance,” she said. “It never quite goes exactly how you expect it.”

With her face turned up in the moonlight and her lips parted, she knew she was a tempting picture. When he kissed her, she allowed herself to go soft against him, enjoying the feeling, the familiar comfort of having him dominate her. She opened her hands, caressing him as much as possible, and he loosened his hold on her, giving her more control as he deepened the kiss. 

Her fingers digging into the back of his head didn’t raise any alarm, either. _ Heaven and Hell, forgive me, _ she thought as she pulled back.

“Ellie—” he started, voice hazy with lust.

She headbutted him, hard. He didn’t even yell, letting go of her instantly and stumbling back. Arm outstretched, she covered his face with her palm and pumped a pulse of _ furioku _ into the nose she’d just broken, both healing him and making him dizzy with she sensation. The two fell into the grass, him on his back, she on her knees. 

“I’m not one of your strays,” she hissed, then stood up and ran off before he could gather his bearings.

With some luck, that would end any affection he had left for her.

***

She didn’t have much luck.

Or maybe she had all of the luck, depending on how you looked at the following day.

Yoh _ did _ stall them for long enough for the match to automatically go to Hao, and the council was kind enough not to ask them to leave immediately after their “defeat”. They didn’t use every trick they had in their bag, but maybe that was also for the best. If other competitors considered them useless wraiths, they wouldn’t pick fights, and anyone stupid enough to try would still be caught by surprise. 

Ryu was angry, but not enough not to come there and try to stop them. 

Yes. Ellie hadn’t been entirely lucky that day.

She trailed behind the other girls, thinking dejectedly about how a lack of battle sometimes sucked as much as the battle itself if you psyched yourself up for it. She almost wished she could have fought Yoh for longer to get all that frustration out of her system. She was so distracted she didn’t even realize something had captured the others’ attention until she nearly bumped into Sally.

“What the hell?” she asked, then looked over her friend’s shoulder.

On their kitchen table sat a sushi platter.

“Do you think Hao is in the habit of sending his opponents gifts?” Lilly asked.

Sharona lifted the dish and pulled the note from underneath. “It seems too elaborate, even for him,” she muttered, unfolding it. Her brows furrowed. “It’s from Ryu.”

“That tall guy?”

“Must be for Elle then.”

“It’s for all of us,” their leader went on. “Says here it’s to remind us about the nicer things in life. Guess nobody told him that Sally is allergic to crayfish.” She handed the note to Ellie, who in turn winced with embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “He’s a sanctimonious dick sometimes.”

“Nice of him to spare us having to go out for dinner,” Sally said, examining the platter for something she could eat. “You must have made a good impression last night, eh?”

Ellie snorted, then glanced down at the piece of paper. There was more written on it than Sharona had let on, but she waited until she was in the corner of the room that she shared with Millie until she read the rest. 

_ Being rejected for being different is more common than you think. That doesn’t mean you can’t reach out to your friends. Help doesn’t always come from a place of pity. _ There were a bunch of kanji on the bottom of the note. Probably his name, she decided, wishing for the umpteenth time that she had more going for her academically than a half-finished college degree. 

“Overbearing man,” she said, when Millie came in and climbed onto the bed. “He thinks he knows everything.”

“He’s kind, though,” she replied, laying her head down on Ellie’s thigh, and letting her brush her fingers through her hair. She’d been resisting such acts of comfort lately, as though she was in a hurry to grow up. Like every kid, she thought adulthood was better than anything she had at the moment. 

“I like him,” Millie went on. “Even when he thinks he knows best.”

Ellie hummed and caressed her hair again. 

Honestly, it was the kindness she found difficult. In the world she came from, it was the carrot dangled briefly before the stick came down again. A good gesture always came with a catch; a smile was never really a smile; a sympathetic remark was only thrown out to get you off your guard before the other person kicked you in the teeth. _ You loved your foster family, did you not? _

She read through the note again. It was an unfair comparison, but so what? Life was not fair. 

If he knew everything, and she did mean everything, he would never dream of writing such inanities.

“Elle?” Millie asked turning into her touch. “You’re treating me like a baby again.”

“Sorry, sweetie,” she said, smiling when she jumped out of bed and ran off to do some project of her own. Across the room, Sally, Lilly and Sharona all seemed absorbed into their own thoughts, eyes distant and haunted.

Ellie folded the note and tucked it into the side of her boot.

Yes, it was anticlimactic. Yes, they were all scared for the future. 

But they were alive to be scared. _ Millie _ was alive, to be happy, embarrassed, aspiring… And Ryu had been partially the one to thank for that. Whatever feelings she had about being treated like one of his strays, he and his friends had given them a meaningful out of a shitty match. She’d give him this much. 

That night, she walked into the forest uninvited, and yet, fully confident that he’d be expecting her. They stared each other down across the glen, neither willing to take the first step, neither fully confident in their words. 

She settled at last on, “Sorry about the nose.”

Ryu had smiled at that. “You fixed it. Not that anybody would have noticed if you didn’t.” 

“I would notice.” 

This time, walking into his arms was the most natural thing in the world. 

For one night, at least, they felt right.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the tune of "Boogie Feet" by Kesha and the Eagles of Death Metal:
> 
> I...don't own...Sha-man King or Yu-Gi-Oh...
> 
> It's an appropriate song. Much screaming is involved.
> 
> Also, guess which bitch decided to make a lot of work for herself by changing the HTML formatting on Tokageroh's lines.
> 
> Yeah, bois....

_ Present Day, Domino Outer Isles Ferry Terminal _

They did beat the crowd, but only just - scoring a table in the far corner, right between the area where the barista was shouting the ready orders and the disabled toilets. Ryu offered to buy the coffees while she sat, but Ellie waved him away, insisting a promise was a promise. “You can get the next round,” she said. “Just… keep an eye on those, please.”

He sat back down, half-amused by her fussiness, half-heartened that she expected there to be a second round. It was nice.

It was also nice to have a reason to observe her without fear or concern. Earlier, he’d only caught the most obvious changes to her appearance, like those on her hair and face, but now that he had a closer look, he could see other things, too. The clothes, for example - long, asymmetric tunic, slim-fitting jeans, boots that matched the color of her top. It was more… elaborate than what people usually traveled in, but the cut and fit suggested not just trendiness, but also skill. 

She’d moved up in the world. Enough, at least, to be able to buy expensive coffee and afford well-crafted garments. 

_** Or she married rich, **_ Tokageroh muttered.

_ ** Glad you haven’t disappeared on me entirely. Does that mean you’re done not giving me advice?** _

_ **Che. Someone has to look out for you. ** _

Ryu glanced at the Ellie’s luggage. He didn’t recognize the logo on the garment bag, but the backpack had seen better days, having been mended multiple times and covered in colorful patches. It seemed… homely. Comforting. 

He couldn’t imagine Ellie turning into a trophy wife only to lug something like that around.

_** Careful, **_ his guardian said. 

_ ** You don’t need to stress that every five minutes, you know.** _

_**I’ll stress it every three then. What are you hoping for anyway? That you’d just pick it up where you left off? **_ The ex-bandit threw a worried look at the queue, then at him. _** You’re an outcast man. We both are. Spoiled little girls are more trouble than they’re worth. **_

_ **She’s not spoiled.** _

_ **She thinks she’s too good for you. That’s spoiled. ** _

_ **It’s been a decade. ** _

_ **Why are you acting like no time has passed, then? ** _

Was he? He looked at her again, as she was placing the order. She cracked a joke, making the barista laugh, left a tip and then stepped back, all before the rest of the line had a chance to get irritated with her. 

She wasn’t who she had been back then. 

Good, he thought.

Ryu knew cosmic do-overs were too much to ask sometimes, but unlike any of their encounters in the past, this one… it felt less…

_** Desperate? **_ Tokageroh offered.

Ryu smiled, and corrected, _** Rushed. **_

When they had their fling, they’d taken pains to hide it, at least from his team. Horo Horo and Chocolove had made no secret of their distaste for the Ly’s, and Ana would have made his life hell if she caught him “consorting with the enemy”. As a result, the deepest their conversations got was when he asked her if her team would give her flak for seeing him.

_ “Why would they?” Ellie had asked. “So long as one of us is keeping an eye on Millie, the others are free to fuck whomever they want.”_

_That hadn’t been the point but now that she raised it, he couldn’t help but ask the obvious follow-up. “That’s an… awfully cavalier attitude to lovemaking that you’ve got.”_

_She’d laughed so loud and so hard he’d actually come out of her. Ryu had only just managed to steady her before she fell down and hit her head. _

_“It wasn’t all that funny,” he’d said, when she’d calmed down._

_“Says you.” Her shoulders were still shaking but she climbed back on top of him. He’d stopped her before she could resume that she’d been doing previously. _

_“I was being serious,” he’d said. “How come your friends are okay with us doing this? Mine would kill me.”_

_Ellie had rolled her eyes. “Your friends are assholes.” Before he could even take offense, she’d shoved him on his back and worked herself back onto his length. “Do you think sex is dirty or immortal? Or that we’ll both burn in Hell for this?”_

_“No.”_

_“Do you think that this would change the outcome of a match between us, then?”_

_He’d rolled his eyes. “Might I remind you what we were doing before we ended up in this position?”_

_Ellie had smiled and rolled her hips against his. “Then the only problem is who you’re doing this with,” she said, leaning in. “Which, I might remind you, is nobody’s business but ours. The girls get that much. Your friends don’t.” _

_“But—” He’d had an argument. Some kind of argument that was quickly going down the drain. “Aren’t you afraid of… setting a bad example.”_

_Her eyes had gone cold. Just for a moment. Then she’d given him that cruel smirk that always sent whatever blood was left in his head straight into his groin. “There is no shame in our home - just acceptance. If that’s setting a bad example, then I’m proud to be a bad influence.” _

Such conversations were always scarce and far in between. And yet, when her scent had washed off and her marks faded, the words lingered, digging into the back of his mind and taking root. For every time she did something shallow or dishonorable in public, he caught a glimpse of something else in private moments, something utterly captivating. 

“Sugar?”

Ryu blinked, startled as a tray appeared on the table. “Pardon?”

“Do you want sugar for your coffee? They don’t have any packets but I can ask for a shaker.” Ellie looked past his shoulder. “Hello, Tokageroh. I didn’t see you earlier.”

_ ** No worries. I was just gonna… go explore. ** _

If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn his guardian was embarrassed. 

She stood there, looking at him. Ryu shook off the fog from his brain and focused on the present. “It’s fine as it is. Thank you.”

“Changed your preferences?” Ellie asked, sitting down. He noticed her glancing at her phone before turning it facedown on the table. Was she still able to get signal? In this weather?

A question for another time. “I never had many to begin with.” Ryu shrugged. “I’m lucky to even sit down at work, let alone spend time making coffee the way I like.”

“And what’s work these days?” 

He paused, cup halfway to his lips. 

“Unless it’s some kind of big secret,” she added, when the silence stretched too far.

“No. I just… it’s been a while since I interacted with anybody who didn’t know. I’m a chef.” 

“You seem pleased to work in that field.”

He chuckled. “When I’m actually cooking, yeah.” Truth be told, his job could be described more like a babysitter-cum-personal shopper-cum-line cook-cum-occasional training dummy, but he wasn’t sure how much detail to get into just yet. “Ana-sama is a very exigent employer. I wonder if I will ever match up to what she wants.”

“I’m probably not the best judge of that, but I’ve got a feeling you’re too hard on yourself.” 

“Do you now?” The thought amused him somewhat. “You two never did like each other.”

Ellie shrugged. “My opinion of Ana doesn’t matter very much,” she said. “I do recall that you had a fairly modest opinion of your skills, though.”

He choked on a sip of coffee, brain immediately flashing to a less than helpful image of the _ skills _ he’d been self-deprecating about with her. 

“I forgot what it was like to talk to you for long stretches of time,” he said, once he was able to speak again.

She gave an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t really trying to shock you,” she said. “It’s just… kinda hard not to fall into old habits.”

“Tell me about it.” He noticed her lacing her fingers together, clenching and unclenching. Even though she was making a concentrated effort not to look at her phone, her attention was definitely split. “Are you waiting for a call?”

“Hm? Oh, no, not really.” She tried to take a sip from her coffee and then winced as it dribbled down her chin. “Damn it. I swear, it’s not a day when I don’t spill something on myself.”

“You can look at it if you want,” he said. “I really don’t mind.”

“No, I—” She fiddled with the napkin, dropped it, picked it up and dropped it again. Closing her eyes in exasperation, she looked like she was holding back a scream, then bent over and picked the offending thing again. “I’m sorry. Millie’s going through some stuff at the moment. I want her to be able to reach me if she wants to ask for help, but… well…” she gestured toward the outside of the cafe. From his seat, he could just see the weather outside had - somehow - gotten even worse than before. 

“Reception’s not brilliant here,” he pointed out gently. “I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“I still… well… I still worry, you know.”

Ryu nodded.

He did know. Even before he’d been tasked with looking after Hana, he’d known. 

“Would you feel better if you turned your ringer on?” he asked. “That way you’ll know immediately when she tries to reach you.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not in the least.” He paused, watching her work the buttons quickly. The next segue was just too easy not to take. “How is Millie? Setting aside whatever’s going on in her life right now, I mean?”

Ellie’s expression softened. “She’s great, actually. Even with the stuff, she’s brilliant.” There was a pause. “Do you… want to see a picture?”

He did. She unlocked her phone and handed it over. “That’s from her graduation.”

“Oh, wow!” 

“I know, right?”

“Ellie, she’s like a… well, can’t say miniature you, can I?” He stared at the phone, trying to reconcile the tiny girl from his memory with the one staring back at him. The rest of the Lilly 5, by comparison, were nearly the same. “The color suits her,” he said, finally. “Did her school give her any trouble for dying it, though?”

“It’s just the ends,” she said, shrugging. “Compared to some of the other things her classmates pulled off, she was pretty tame by comparison. I just hope she doesn’t go off and get a side-shave the second she goes off to college.” 

“Sally seems to pull it off just fine,” Ryu said, glancing back at the screen. “You’re all as beautiful as ever.”

“Thank you.” There was a faint blush on her face as she said that. “She had her hair short a while back. I might have a picture from there, too.”

He flicked his thumb over the screen automatically, then raised an eyebrow. “Um…”

It was a snap of a pair of legs and a very large skirt, taken - from what he could tell - while the person was in mid-jump. They were lovely legs, no doubt, and the skirt was beautiful, multi-colored, multi-layered affair. But still… “Is that—”

“Oh, my God, I’m sorry!” The blush intensified as she took the phone and started swiping quickly. “I took this for my portfolio and then forgot to erase it.”

“Your portfoilo sounds rather interesting,” Ryu said, opting for the diplomatic route.

“I promise you, it’s not.” She fidgeted in her seat. 

“I guess this is the bit where I ask you what you do for a living?”

“This is gonna sound so pretentious.” She stopped swiping and gestured awkwardly towards the garment bags. “I’m a des… I… Damn it, I can say it. I’m a designer.”

He propped his head on his fist, looking at her up and down. “Somehow,” he said, “that does not surprise me at all.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill, I don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> Episode referenced for this chapter: Episode 51 of the Shaman King anime.

_ Patch village, nine years ago _

Of all the stupid things her visions had foretold, why did they have to leave this out? It was bad enough to be captured and forced to give up information against their wills, but did they have to run into Manta and Tamao? Could they not at least sneak out of Patch village without that added humiliation?

“Now what?” Millie asked, voicing - as usual - the question on everybody’s mind.

They had stayed in the cafe, to sort out the mess that Manta had made in his rampage, but now they were back on the street, bags at hand, caught between leaving and staying.

“I don’t know,” Sharona admitted. “Logically, we can’t continue in the tournament without guardian spirits…”

But Yoh’s friends knew about the problem now. There was a chance it could get fixed. If anybody could sort this out, it was Yoh.

Ellie cringed as she considered her line of thought. 

“We can’t count on Asakura to sort this out for us,” Lilly said. “We either find these assholes ourselves and make them give us our spirits back, or we find new spirits before our next match is announced.”

“Which would be just grand, if we had any idea where to look, or had any time to start training anew.” 

They all stared at Sharona, waiting for direction. Millie leaned against Ellie’s leg, looking dejected. 

“If we don’t leave now, we’ll have to camp out in the desert tonight,” Sally pointed out, finally. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m not in the mood of having the tent blown off me while we’re sleeping.”

“As this morning’s events have shown, the campsite here isn’t that much safer, either.” Their leader nodded once, twice, then said, “Let’s get an accommodation somewhere and regroup. A night’s reflection won’t make any difference.”

To finally dip into their savings… Hell had finally frozen over.

***

But even as they found a suite of rooms, even as they took in the luxury of beds and indoor plumbing for the first time in ages, Ellie couldn’t stop thinking about something Manta had said. It was a little thing - just before he’d gone off on them - but it had stuck in her crow.

Ryu had lost his guardian spirit, too. 

She knew she ought not to care. She had her own problems, after all. Plus, if the great Ana couldn’t help him, what could _ she _ possibly do to alleviate his pain?

Besides the obvious, anyways.

“This is my fault,” Millie muttered from her side.

“Why would it be your fault, munchkin?” Ellie rubbed her back. “We were all on the same boat.”

“I know, but… if I hadn’t ran my mouth, maybe they wouldn’t have gone after Yoh and his friends.” She looked up, eyes shining. “What if Manta is hurt? And Ryu… what if they went after his guardian spirit because of what I said?”

“Hey, hey, hey, what have we said about catastrophising?” Ellie slid off the bed and knelt in front of her. “Listen to me, sweetheart. These guys were jerks. They designed their attack so that it was the most distressing it could be. Even if you hadn’t said anything, they clearly had a way to make us to give up the information. You spared us a lot of pain today.”

She sniffled. 

“And,” Ellie went on, “I’m sure Manta will be fine. Yoh is not going to let his best friend be possessed by an evil spirit.”

“What about Ryu? I mean, Tokageroh wasn’t like our guardians. He must be so worried.”

She pursed her lips. “Tell you what,” she said. “If I go and see how he’s doing, would you feel happier?”

“Why would you go and see how he’s doing?” Sally asked, leaning against the door, arms crossed. 

Ellie shrugged. “Do you wanna do it?”

“Leave her be,” Sharona said, throwing Sally a look. “Who knows, maybe there is something that Ana hasn’t done that we could try.”

Nobody objected after that.

None of them - absolutely none - wanted to ask Ana what she had tried.

Unfortunately, when she was out in the noon sun, Ellie found herself lost. She knew more or less where Yoh’s team lived, but she had no idea what she would do when she got there. Should she just knock on the door and state her business? Or wait until the others had left to let herself in? From what she’d gathered from Tamao, Ryu had been catatonic since dawn, but did that mean they would leave him alone all this time?

She was spared the dilemma when she turned the corner and noticed the man himself, walking about a hundred yards down the street. 

Walking, or shuffling, she corrected herself, noticing that while his hair was still in immaculate condition, his whole body was slumped over, as though recovering from a beating.

Yeah. She knew that feeling. 

Ellie was about to quicken her pace and catch up when she noticed something odd about the street. At first, she wasn’t entirely sure what was bothering her - there were shops, and cafes, and people, same as the rest of the village. 

Except there was one group that was moving in a very deliberate way, shadowing Ryu while staying just out of his peripheral vision so as to not raise a suspicion. Really, she would not have noticed them either if she hadn’t been looking for the big idiot herself. They also kept checking in with each other visually, as though they were trying to work up the nerve to do something.

She swallowed and forced herself to cross the street and enter a side-alley as casually as she could… before breaking into a run and taking the street that ran parallel to the one Ryu was. 

The men were not familiar to her, but she’d never seen anything good come out of being tailed, especially when the one on the receiving end was obviously distraught.

The streets of Patch were, luckily, laid out in a perfectly predictable way. She would not have been able to do that if the place was rife with dead ends and circular passages. As it was, Ellie mentally calculated where Ryu was, dashed past there, and then took a sharp turn down a passageway that would throw her right in front of him. 

She emerged on the street, barely taking the time to smooth out her hair, as the tail had gotten within ten yards of him. _ Perfect, _ she thought wryly and raised her hand. “Yo! Ryu-kun!”

He started, looking up. No doubt shocked that she even knew what a honorific was, or something like that. Ellie plastered a vapid smile on her face, filing that under ‘examine later, possibly never’ and came up to him. “I was looking all over for you,” she said, loud enough for half the street to hear. “Why weren’t you answering my texts?”

“Ellie?” he asked, completely lost.

“Forget your phone? Happens to me all the time, that.” She wrapped both arms around his right one and turned them to walk in the opposite direction to which he had come from. The guys who had been trailing him barely had time to scatter. “Nevermind, at least I found you this time. Where shall we go to for our date?”

“Um… are you okay?” he asked, voice low. Probably embarrassed at all the attention she was drawing to them. 

“Cooperate, please,” she said, even as she felt her own expression turn wooden. “I’ll explain in a minute.”

He looked at her as though she’d grown a second head, but - whether it was their past history, or the fact that he was too sad to care - he did as told, walking alongside her as she steered him into an even more populated area. One with lots of convenient windows and displays that they could use to check their surroundings.

“Have you guys found Manta yet?” she asked.

“No,” he replied, now annoyed. “Ellie, are you going to tell me…”

“I’m asking because there were a bunch of weird dudes following you on that street.” She stopped in front of a shop that sold wind chimes and other shiny things, and pretended to admire some of the display while she studied the bystanders’ faces. “And I couldn’t tell if they were the weirdos that go around stealing guardian spirits, or if they’re in cahoots with them, but they definitely didn’t seem happy with you.”

His body went very, very still next to hers. Even though he didn’t move his head, she could tell his attention was spinning out, trying to feel their surroundings.

Ellie knew what he would find. The tail was trying to regroup itself.

“Know them?” she asked, as they started walking again.

“Not one bit, but that’s not a surprise.” He laced his fingers through hers, squeezing. Playing the part of a doting, _ alert _ boyfriend. She allowed the intrusion - it would be worth any ribbing he received from his friends if they ran into them. At least they could still defend him. “You should go home,” he added.

“The only reason they haven’t jumped you yet is because they don’t know what I can do.” 

“Which is not much right now.” He glanced at her nails meaningfully. She laughed as though he’d said some kind of delightful joke, then pinched the skin of his wrist.

“Would you like to fight them? Because that’s what’s going to happen if I leave.”

In fact, she had the very distinct feeling that a fight could break out even if she didn’t leave. She could taste copper at the back of her throat, feel phantom pains breaking out through her body. A feeling, if not a full-blown vision was coming on.

_ Oh, now they kick in, _ she thought, scanning the market. As she passed an abandoned looking street, the copper taste in her mouth seemed to ease, and she steered Ryu down that way and, after two excruciating minutes, the two of them ended up in the middle of what felt like the biggest group of people she had seen in one place.

Someone was arguing that victims of Team Dairedo should not be disqualified from the fight because they had been cheated. The crowd seemed sold - or at least, fifty percent sold - and were starting to gear themselves up to ‘petition’ the council.

Perfect. 

Ellie and Ryu allowed themselves to get pulled deeper into the crush, letting angry people surround them left and right. The group trailing them emerged from the passageway as the two were nearly at the center of the crowd. Even if they could see Ryu - and really, who couldn’t - they would not be able to get to him without causing a ruckus.

She closed her eyes briefly, thanking her lucky stars that the vision had come on time, and then gasped when someone barreled into them, making her break contact with Ryu. The next thing she knew, she was jostled this way and that, pushed past increasingly bigger people as they tried to get closer to the orator to shout their grievances. _ Okay, maybe I spoke too soon _ she thought, trying not to fall down lest the crowd trample her in their haste. 

Then, a warm hand was wrapping around her waist and she found herself anchored against Ryu’s body. “I got you,” he said. “Don’t worry.”

“Thanks,” she nudged him to follow the flow of the people, as they all started to migrate from the street and towards the council’s houses. Eventually, the crowd thinned out enough for them to slip away and walk towards Ryu’s neighborhood unobserved.

“That was lucky,” he said, finally. 

“I know, right?” Ellie breathed a sigh of relief. “Who knew Goldva’s way of doing things is so unpopular? Let’s hope Hao wasn’t watching or he’d have an army in no time.”

Ryu’s expression hardened.

“Too soon?”

“Yoh-dono still has Amidamaru. While he’s still able to fight, there is hope.” He glanced down at her nails again, frowning. “When did this happen to you?”

“Early morning.”

“Tamao relayed your description to us. The others are out looking as we speak.” Ryu sighed. “I was out trying to find Manta, even though I have no idea how much help I would be.”

“You may not be able to oversoul, but I’m willing to bet you can still fight, big guy.” Ellie was tempted to bump his shoulder with hers, but they’d just let go of each other. Any more physical contact and they might have been in trouble. 

A few more minutes lapsed in silence. Then, “Are you sure you didn’t recognize the people trailing you?”

“We’ve been having some really weird matches lately. For all we know, they could be our next opponents, scouting the competition. Such as it is.” 

She realized then that he wasn’t even carrying his wooden sword. Not even as a means of self-defense.

Seriously. Men.

“How did you know they were trailing me?” Ryu asked, finally. 

“Um… I walked down the street and looked?” 

“I didn’t see them.”

She gave a shrug. “I’m a girl. I’m more aware of my surroundings… most of the time, anyway.”

“Tamao mentioned the guys who exorcised Tokageroh ambushed you girls.” They took a shortcut through a dark passage as he said that, which was lucky because the thought left her as anything but smiley.

“Sure did,” she said through gritted teeth. “Hog-tied us, too, and then used some kind of technique to dig into our brains for information about Yoh. Just for that, I’m not sorry for ambushing you the first time around - you lot are so bad for my health.”

He put his hand on her shoulder, stilling her. She opened her mouth to ask what he thought he was doing, when she found herself enveloped in a hug.

Just a hug. His palms were flat against her sides, and though she was practically molded to his chest, they were not touching from the hips down. Hesitantly, she put her own hands around his waist, causing him to squeeze her tighter in response.

“Ryu?”

“I’m sorry you went through that,” he said in her ear. “You must have been scared.”

She blinked away the sudden sting in her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry over this, damn it. She wasn’t.

“I’ve survived worse.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I’m sorry anyway.”

This was preposterous. She was there to make sure he was alive and well so that she could comfort Millie, not get mauled in a dark alley. And yet… somehow, having him empathize with her felt… heartening. Like maybe she wasn’t entirely messed up for feeling shaken from this morning.

Maybe she could wait another minute before letting go of him.

Maybe two.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> Prepare for stuff to not make much sense if you haven't read other fics from this series.
> 
> My brain, it has quite possibly fried itself.

_ Present Day, Domino Outer Isles Ferry Terminal _

“So, Ms Wintour, why is it so hard to say your profession out loud?” 

“Actually, Ana Wintour is the editor of Vogue, not a fashion designer, but…” She paused, realizing that she was just stalling. “Ugh, well…”

“Would it be easier if asked you what you’d rather call yourself?”

“Possibly. I mean, I always made things for Millie and the girls, and then maybe four years ago I started to sew for drag shows.”

“Ah. So that was…”

“One of my clients in the middle of a death drop, yeah. I told her it was a waste to sew a skirt like that when the fun stuff was nowhere to be seen, so she decided she would work in ten of these things in her set just to show it off. I don’t know whether to admire her or sew more shoulder cushioning in her next gown.” Ellie shook her head, then threw him a curious look. “Not a fan?”

Ryu started. “What? No… I mean… I don’t know much about… um, drag, actually.”

“It’s fun,” she said. “My stuff gets used at stage performances, mostly, but I’ve had clients custom-order gowns for pageants and brunch costumes sometimes. Then maybe eighteen months ago I showed my portfolio to a designer at Domino city and she hired me as part of her team. Madam keeps saying I need to stop describing myself ‘seamstress’ and ‘tailor’ now that I’ve _ gone legit _ but the word always gets stuck in my throat.” 

He nodded, sorting through all the words she’d just said before deciding to ask. “Madam?”

“One of the queens I work for. It’s short for Madam Va-Va-Voom.”

“Ah.” 

“You _ really _ seem uncomfortable with that.”

“I guess I’m sheltered,” Ryu said. “At home, they always equate things like cross-dressing with… I don’t know, fetish stuff and BDSM.” 

“I’ve made things for pro doms, too.” 

“Oh.”

“Leather and lace are a bitch to manipulate,” she went on, sipping her coffee. Honestly, I think they kept hiring me because I was cheap.”

“Somehow, I think you’ve being self-deprecating again.”

Ellie looked like she might argue, but then - probably deciding it was not worth pushing on the matter - she pursed her lips and shrugged. “Perhaps. The last year and a half has been something of a trip, so maybe I’ll feel differently once some time has passed.” She glanced at the garment bag again, expression turning melancholy.

Ryu waited for a beat or two, wondering she would elaborate on that. He wanted her to - he really, really wanted her to - but experience had taught him that Ellie was the sort of person who shut down immediately when you pushed her too hard.

“You do enjoy it, though, right?”

“Oh, absolutely. I wouldn’t have dreamt of doing something that risky while Millie was still little, but now— I just want to do everything, you know?”

“I do.” Ryu smiled. “I’ve been helping to look after Hana-kun for ages. I wouldn’t have taken this trip if his mother hadn’t pushed me through the door.”

Ellie blinked and straightened up in her seat. Her eyes dropped to his hands, folded on top of the table. “Hana-kun?” she asked, in the sort of voice one used when they were desperately trying to be nonchalant.

Ryu raised an eyebrow. “Asakura Hana. Yoh-dono’s son.” She kept staring at him in confusion. “You… didn’t know?”

“I thought he and Ana were waiting for when he won the tournament or something,” Ellie said, still sounding suspicious. 

“That was the plan, but then the little one came along and they rolled with it.” He shrugged, although deep down, he was shocked. It was one thing for Ellie not to take an interest in his life - after all, he was a nobody. But Yoh had saved the world. He was - literally - a hero to their kind. “There was a pretty big deal when it happened. The Patch council sent word everywhere about him being born. You never heard?”

“We… haven’t exactly been in touch with people from back then,” she said, lacing her fingers together again. The energy between them seemed to change, as if the subject itself made her intensely nervous. “Well,” she said, quickly, “Congratulations to them. They must be very happy.”

Ryu nodded, politely not adding the bit where Hana’s upbringing had been pretty much left to him, Tamao, Ponchi and Konchi for the first few years. 

“It’s nice to hear my friends haven’t been the only ones bitten by the marriage and babies bug,” she added, sending his thoughts crashing to a stop again.

“Um… pardon?”

***

If anybody asked him, nine years ago, to describe the Lilly 5 as anything, “maternal” would have been the last word Ryu would have used.

Oh, sure, the older girls had clearly banded around Millie, forming a little unconventional family; but he always thought of them on the same par as himself and his gang. Friends, brought together by shared skills and misfortunes. Their interactions were more sisterly than anything else; and, with the exception of their youngest member, they seemed to have a complete and utter distaste for children. 

He stared at the picture on Ellie’s phone, trying to wrap his brain around what he was seeing.

“Sharona has children?”

“Yep.”

“And they’re twins?”

“Oh, yeah.” Ellie grinned, seemingly pleased with his reaction. “You’re receiving a very special honor, you know. Those two are almost never photographed.”

Ryu blinked a few times, trying to compose himself. “I don’t see why. They’re beautiful.”

They really were. So was their father, even though the picture showed his hands and the bottom part of his face. _ To think, how much things changed. _ He wondered if Ellie was thinking about the same thing - about how life had altered since the days of the tournament.

Her own expression was affectionate. “They are very lovely,” she said. “Mind you, Millie spends more time with them than me, but she says they’re a joy to babysit. Easiest way to make money for college, too, since she can also double up as a bodyguard.”

“Is that a concern?”

She looked a little uncertain, then shrugged. “Their dad… pisses people off. Not in an illegal way, just… he has a company and he tends to disrupt industries a lot. There used to be a lot of attempts made on their uncle’s life when he was younger, so he’s a bit overprotective. I think they’ll be fine, though. They’re already displaying powers, and they can be pretty destructive if they want to be.” She smiled. “You know. As babies tend to.”

Ryu nodded, then looked at the guy’s face again. It wasn’t familiar to him, but then that didn’t say much. Ren, he knew, was also aggressively expanding businesses and disrupting industries, and yet he doubted the average person would know what the Tao heir looked like or what he did for a living. 

Returning the phone to Ellie, he thought it was only fair to show some pictures of his own, even though they were folded up in his wallet and crinkled over time. “The whole band had a reunion a few years ago,” he explained as she took the image and studied it. “Even Lyserg came along.”

“He looks like he’s moved up in the world,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “I take it you guys worked out your differences.”

Ryu knew exactly what she was getting at, and he breathed a sigh of relief. If they could talk about Lyserg, they could probably talk about anything.

“We never really had any differences to begin with,” he said, channeling the last nine years of patience that he’d had to learn. “The lad lost his way for a bit. I thought I could save him like I did with some of my boys, but… well… I guess I underestimated how much he was hurting at the time.” Ryu paused, checked her expression. Her eyes were lowered and her jaw was clenched, as though she was physically trying to hold back the words from spilling. “But you don’t feel the same way, I reckon?”

“He apologized to Millie, and she has forgiven him. That’s good enough for me,” Ellie said, smoothing out the picture. 

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

Ryu smiled, catching the angry gleam in her eyes. “You do this a lot, you know. Hide your bad feelings by pretending they’re not that important. Just like when I asked you about disliking Ana.” He paused. “You’re still angry at him, aren’t you?”

Ellie’s mouth twisted with distaste, but when she spoke next, her voice was light. “At least he said he was sorry. It made it easier for her to heal.” She looked down at Lyserg’s image in the photograph. To Ryu, it was always a representation of happiness - the boy who had been so miserable he’d nearly thrown his life away, now a lawyer and a successful man. But what did it represent to Ellie?

He wanted to know. Needed to know.

“I don’t feel any particular grudge towards Lyserg,” she said, suddenly. “Don’t get me wrong, I always thought he was a self-righteous prick, but until he joined the X-Laws, I didn’t think he was actively bad.”

That was news to him. 

Not that Ellie thought Lyserg was a self-righteous prick - that seemed to be her go-to insult for a lot of guys - but Ryu had always assumed she was jealous or resentful of how he monopolized Millie’s attention. 

“I mean,” she said, when he told her as much, “I wasn’t mad keen on a nine-year old developing a crush on a boy that was nearly twice her age. But their relationship wasn’t ever sexual, and if I’m honest, Millie was really struggling to adjust to life on the road. Latching onto the first person to show you kindness isn’t that uncommon.”

The way she said that made Ryu sit up a little further. But before he could interrogate her, she went on.

“What I am glad of is that he tried to make amends. He taught her a valuable lesson then.” Ellie pushed the picture back toward him. Their fingers brushed against each other and he felt the callouses on her fingers again. 

“Yeah?” Ryu asked. “And what was that?”

She smiled, sadly. “That you can recover from heartbreak.” Sitting back, she wrapped her hands around her nearly-empty cup. “It was a good thing to learn so young. Some people spend years not being able to let go.”

***

Their drinks were pretty much gone by that point. He took the opening and, after a quick-fire argument, he went to the now queue-less counter, ignoring the money she’d tried to push on him to pay for her one. He needed a break, anyway. His head was starting to pound.

_** Are you sure it’s because of the conversation or because you’re trying really hard not to ravish her? **_ Tokageroh asked.

_ ** We’re in the middle of a cafe. There’s not going to be any ravishing here.** _

_ **I’m not saying it’s a good idea. Just that it’s on your mind.** _

_ **Am I really that obvious?** _

_**Ryu, if you had any less dignity, you’d be sniffing her hair like some loser serial killer. **_

Well… she did have nice hair. In fact, everything about her was nice, as far as he was concerned - from the economy of her movements to the lilt of her voice, all the way to how she looked at him. Every time she leaned across the table to hand him something - be it a phone, a napkin, or the cream - he caught a whiff of sandalwood and vanilla, and every time he had to stop himself from sliding into the seat next to hers. 

_ ** She’s not for you, man.** _

_ **Since when are you of all people concerned about taking what’s not yours?** _

_**Hanging out with you is bad for my moral fibre. You’ve taken being a goody two-shoes and weaponized it. **_

He shook his head and focused on ordering, taking the moment to look outside again. The sky was pitch black, and the hours were ticking away. Even if the wind died down enough for the big ferries to move, no small boat would be able to leave the harbor until morning if it kept up. Did she know it? Or was she holding out for some miracle? 

_ ** Seriously, though, try not to fall in love all over again? Even if she were interested, it’s not like she’s going to drop everything and follow you to Japan.** _

_ **You’re thinking way ahead of this. ** _

Or was he? It hadn’t escaped Ryu that, despite all the updates Ellie had given him on her friends, she hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend or girlfriend of her own. Maybe that was coming later, maybe she was just treating this as a frivolous way to pass the time, but he was unconvinced. Women who were definitely not interested found a way, in his experience, to tell him so within the first minutes of meeting him. 

_ ** You know lying by omission is a thing, right?** _

_**Why would she be going to a friend’s wedding by herself then? **_

The subject lingered on his mind, especially when he came back to their table and found her talking on the phone.

“—I know, I’m still waiting. I really am sorry, Lil,” Ellie was saying. “Don’t be nice to me, okay. This is totally my fault. I… yeah. Yeah. Yes, Mistress.” She rolled her eyes as Ryu sat down across from her. “Very well. I shall practice radical self-care so that you may give me an appropriate punishment for being late tomorrow. Okay. Love you, bye.”

“That sounded… intense,” he said. 

“Tell me about it.” She rubbed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “My friends are simultaneously the most terrifying and the most stubborn people I have ever met. I might as well roll over and let them walk over me.”

“Practicing self-care doesn’t sound a lot like a bad directive to me,” Ryu said, studying her curiously. “What’s the matter?”

“Just… I wish they’d hold me accountable more often.” She took the drink he was handing her and took an experimental sip. “I knew this wedding was on for months and yet here I am, rushing there last minute because my boss gave me the opportunity to go to Fashion Week.”

Ah. That explained why she looked so upset why the boat could not leave. “I’m sure a deadly storm counts as one of the things you cannot predict,” Ryu said. “Is Lilly the one getting married then?”

“Yeah.” 

“And she decided to do it on an island?”

“Long story.” 

“I have time. And before you tell me that it’s boring, I’d like to remind you that this is my first vacation in five years,” he added, when she looked uncertain. “I’ll take any vicarious excitement that I can get.”

“I said it was a long story, not necessarily an exciting one.” She put some cream in her coffee. “Her fiance made up a game and his company got seed money from both Industrial Illusions and Kaiba Corp. One of his investors has an island about fifteen miles east from here, and offered his premises for the ceremony.”

“And you say Lyserg has moved up in the world.”

“Yeah, well… Lilly works at a non-profit that advocates for trafficking victims now, and she doesn’t have a very high opinion of the rich and famous. But I do think she deserves a to have a massive party and a fairytale moment. All my friends do.” She added the last bit, expression becoming shadowed again. “I just wish they could rely on me a bit more.”

“Isn’t Fashion Week a big deal, though?” he asked. “I mean… it sounds like a last minute thing for you, but it’s also an opportunity, right?”

“Yes, and they pretty much ordered me to take it. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel like shit now.” She glanced outside. 

Ryu thought about Lilly. Although he’d seen pictures of her over the course of the conversation, he couldn’t really imagine her as the Bridezilla type. Nor did she sound like it from Ellie’s description. Was it possible that her fiance was a prick. He thought about the games Hana liked to play and something clicked in his brain. “Wait a minute, is Lilly marrying the guy who created Dungeons, Dice and Monsters?”

She nodded, looking surprised. “You know it?”

“Hana’s making me play it. I can never figure it out but… that is pretty impressive, really.”

“Duke is an impressive guy,” Ellie said. “And he makes Lilly happy.”

“I’ve seen him in interviews. He seems super-chill. I don’t imagine him giving Lilly a hard time if they have to send the boat out for you tomorrow.”

“I should imagine not.” She seemed amused by the notion. Then her expression clouded again. “His parents aren’t very supportive of it, though. That’s why I’m upset - they don’t need any more stress on top of everything else right now.”

Ryu reached out across the table and laid a hand over hers. Ellie started a bit and looked at him in surprise, but didn’t pull away. Emboldened, he squeezed her fingers and then slid his thumb to caress her palm. “They’re your friends,” he said, gently. “Whatever else is going on in their lives, they wouldn’t want you risking yours in open sea.”

“True,” she said, looking down. “Plus, knowing Mr and Mrs Devlin, they’ll show up on the pier tomorrow morning, one hour before the ceremony, and demand to be taken there by helicopter.”

“They sound like an absolute delight.”

“You have no idea,” she blew out a breath. “I mean, they didn’t give a damn about Lilly when she and Duke were still dating. Hell, they didn’t give a damn when he moved her in, and that was as big of a deal as anything. But then he gives her a ring, and the next thing you know his mother is ringing detectives and expediting background checks. Some welcome to the family that is.”

Ryu winced in sympathy. “They didn’t like Lilly’s family?”

“Oh, they hated it. As much as they hated that she dropped out of school, had a juvie record, and worked as a dominatrix. Add to that her ten-year ban of using the Internet and they lost their absolute fucking minds.”

He froze, thumb on her pulse point, as his brain caught up with his ears. “Wait… what?”

“Right?” she went on, ignoring his cue completely. “Never mind that she got into domming people as a necessity, the fact that she was actually enjoying it too was unacceptable. Then they realized that she worked like this even after she met Duke, and that was just the cherry on the shit cake.”

Ryu nodded, even as he himself felt utterly and completely out of his depth. “I ah… I take it that was after the tournament that she did it.”

Ellie nodded. “Yeah, shortly after we moved to Domino city. We started off working at a flower shop but then—” she stopped abruptly, then looked at him, frowning. “Are you okay?”

“Just… trying to imagine it.” Ryu swallowed. “I never thought Lilly was the type.”

“She was certainly more fond of tongue lashings than the real deal before,” Ellie agreed. “But that’s neither here nor there.” Pause. “Do you… do you want me to stop talking now?”

“No.” He squeezed her hand again. “No, I… I’m not judging her or anything. I never thought of her this way but it’s good that she found someone who didn’t mind.”

“Duke completes her,” Ellie said, softly. “To him, even her flaws are a feature. But not to his parents. Do you know they only call him now to ask if he’s come to his senses yet? They even did that today, on the eve of his own wedding.”

Ryu nodded, slowly coming to terms with this new shift in reality. 

“You know what the real irony is?” she went on. “This wound't even be happening if it hadn’t been for this hissy fit.”

“What do you mean?”

Ellie turned his hand over, until she held it between her own. Slowly running the pads of her fingers over his palm, Ellie started to press against it at various points, working out all the kinks and pains that he’d accumulated from three weeks of nonstop motorcycling. He hadn’t even realized how much he was hurting until she started her ministrations.

“Lilly and Duke don’t have a need to formalize their relationship,” Ellie began. “They’re already devoted to one other. The official benefits of being married are not essential to their lives. But—” she let go of his right arm and repeated the same thorough process on his left “—his parents made it clear they see her as lower than dirt.”

“So they’re getting married out of spite?”

“They’re getting married because they love each other. They’re throwing a wedding out of spite.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

Ellie smiled, not looking up. “Duke’s friends with a lot of powerful people. Maximilian Pegasus is his mentor, and Seto Kaiba is one of his top investors. Lilly’s former clients, while anonymous to each other, move in some of the highest echelons in society. She may have come from nothing, but tomorrow morning, the creme de la creme of Domino City will gather to celebrate her wedding. There is no bigger ‘fuck you’ than that.”

“You know what?” Ryu said, finally. “I couldn’t agree more.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or... actually have a play and guess the fic I'm referencing at the start of this chapter. Hint hint, it's a Twilight one. 
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Chapter takes place after episode 36 of the anime... or rather, in that bright-light cul-de-sac between the end of the action and the epilogue. 
> 
> As you can tell, I hate plot.

_ Middle-of-nowhere, nine years ago _

“This may be a stupid question…”

“But you will ask it anyway, I’m sure.”

“…oh, I’m sorry, was I supposed to ignore the fact that you are sweeping up ashes into a cookie jar?”

Sharona rolled her eyes. Lilly - who had knelt on the floor to catch the last bit of remains - said, “There weren’t any bongs around, but you’re welcome to try and look for one if you like.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. Were they ever going to stop teasing her about liking that one fic? Or were they simply taking potshots at the whole vampire thing, now that they’d gone through this?

“We couldn’t well leave him lying there,” Sharona said. “Setting aside how unsanitary it all is, can you imagine any human cops stumbling upon this scene?”

She could, and the idea made her as sick as the scene she’d witnessed last night. 

Hao’s minion had disintegrated almost instantly upon death, he’d still left a royal mess behind. Anybody who came through in would know something gruesome had occurred. Ellie didn’t count on their luck to help them avoid a police enquiry.

“What will we do when we pack him up?” she asked. “Not taking him along for the ride, I hope.”

“The boys are in the graveyard as we speak,” Sharona said. “If you want to make yourself useful, you can try fixing the door.”

“As if I’d want to handle him.” She’d had more than enough for one day.

Leaning on her makeshift crutch, she hobbled outside and found Millie sat on a bench next to the entrance. “Hey, munchkin,” Ellie said. “Wanna help me fix this?”

No answer. She didn’t even look up.

“Millie?” Ellie came closer, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

The little girl wrenched herself away from her and turned her back.

“Millie, what are you—”

“Why?” She sniffed, back haunching. 

_ Oh, no. _

She’d been expecting a reaction like that, although she couldn’t tell if it was a vision or just common sense. Who _ wouldn’t _ be upset? She’d witnessed a violent death and had had her heart stomped on in one night. “Sweetie, I know it’s hard,” Ellie said. “But you couldn’t stop him from leaving.”

“No?” She turned and glared at her, eyes bloodshot. “Bet I would have, if I were stronger.”

For a moment, Ellie could just stare, trying to understand. Then it hit her. “Lyserg wasn’t talking about you,” she said. “He wasn’t—”

“He said we got defeated because we were weak?!” Millie shrieked. “And then he went with those… those… fucking psychos! Because we weren’t strong enough for him!”

She opened her mouth to retort, but Millie just jumped off the bench and ran off. Ellie pushed herself up, debating whether to chase after her, hip injuries be damned. From experience, she knew that reasoning with the little one was impossible when she was in the middle of a tantrum, and trying to force her to relax only made things worse. 

How much trouble could she get into in a town that was cordoned-off like the site of a nuclear disaster?

“Go,” she told Kamaitachi, who floated by her elbow. “Keep an eye on her. I’ll join you in a bit.”

Her guardian spirit gave her a concerned look.

“Relax. I’m not doing anything drastic.” She forced herself to smile. Kamaitachi waited for a beat longer, then nodded and flew off, as she knew she would.

She waited until both her girls were out of sight before letting the mask drop from her face. Regarding the door of the church, she could see how the locks had been twisted out of shape, how the wood had splintered apart. It had rained last night, the storm washing away the blood from the steps, but she could still see staining on the floorboards inside. 

Her blood. Their blood. From their bodies being used as cannon fodder.

Ellie’s knuckles turned white. The jury was whispering their poison in her ear. _ Why did you not protect her? Why did you not leave sooner? Why did you provoke them? What did you think was gonna happen? _

Her hip and back were throbbing. Her eye was half closed and her arms and legs were still covered in fresh slashes from splintering the wood. Every joint she had was screaming in agony from the blows she’d managed to block, and her knee felt like it had been destroyed by the one she hadn’t been able to dodge. Oh, she was going to heal soon - as soon as she got her strength back up again - but right now, all she had was pain and fury.

_ What were you expecting? What were you expecting? _

Gritting her teeth, Ellie extended the arm toward the door. She could feel how it had been destroyed and bent out of shape. Every plank, every nail. She knew instinctively how they went together and how they fit. The spirits of the forest that had once inhabited the wood were still there. The essence of the church had imbued it with power. 

“Come on,” she said. “Come on.”

The torn hinges started to creak. There was a groan… and then, with a deafening snap, the door pulled itself together, one crack at a time, fueled by little more than her pain and her magic. 

“Ellie?”

She bit back a curse, concentration wavering. Opening her eyes, she could see the church gate was now laying crooked. She tried to make an adjustment, but blowback hit then, making her sag against the stick she was using as crutch. 

Unfortunately, the damned thing was neither sturdy enough nor grounded enough to hold her whole weight once she fell on it, causing her to crumple in the dirt with a wail. Her ears filled with white noise and she tasted copper.

Someone’s hands were on her shoulders, forcing her into a sitting position. She bit on her tongue again as her injuries throbbed in protest. “Fucking hell, stop that!” she snapped.

“You’re unbelievable,” Ryu said. “You nearly make this whole thing come down on you and you’re yelling at me for trying to help?”

“I don’t need help, now—” she didn’t finish, a cry wrenching itself from her as waves of pain shot from her knee.

Vaguely, she was aware of her friends’ voices and Millie’s upset face. She tried to say she was fine, but couldn’t muster anything more than incoherent groans. It wasn’t until Lilly - who had the most _ furioku _ to spare - gave her energy to heal. The next thing she knew, she was being hoisted in the air and carried like a rag doll.

“Put me down,” her voice sounded small and far away. “Put me the hell down.”

“Not until we’re at your campsite,” Ryu said, not bothering to hide how stressed he was. Over his shoulder, she could see Millie burying her face in Sharona’s lap.

_ Useless. Useless. Useless. _

“Little one’s upset,” she said.

“Yeah well… you can hardly take credit for that.” Ryu stumbled a little and tried to shift her weight in his arms. It hurt, but she forced herself to breathe through it. Even she could tell he was taking pains to be gentle.

The heat became more bearable as they went under the trees, as did the blowback. The burst of energy she’d received from Lilly was working its way through her system, taking the pain from a screaming ache to a duller throb. By the time Ryu sat her down on one of the picnic benches in the campsite, her senses had more or less returned to her. 

“Thanks,” she said, dropping her head and pressing her palms flat against the seat. “I guess I overestimated myself there.”

“Not gonna argue with you on that.” 

Ellie could smell something warm, like maybe clove or amber, as he laid a hand over her forehead. “I’m not feverish,” she said. 

“You’re shivering, though. Have you got a jacket?”

Was he going to baby her all this time? Ellie tried to open her eyes and glare him away, then immediately screwed them shut.

He needed a jacket more than she did.

“Ellie, if you don’t answer me, I’m taking you to a doctor.”

“There’s no doctor here.”

“Then I’ll walk you to the next village.” He squeezed her hands, as though that would work. 

Dropping her head on his shoulder, she allowed herself to absorb his warmth for a bit, breathe in his scent, despite the objections of the jury. She was just so tired. She didn’t even care how he might interpret that.

There was a sigh and then his arms were around her waist, pulling her further into him. 

_ Tease. Tease. Tease. _

“I just wanted to fix the door,” she muttered, more to herself than him.

“I saw.” His hand ran up and down her back. “Did I make you lose focus?”

“Yea.”

“I’m sorry.”

“S’okay.” She leaned her cheek against his skin, almost giddy with how good it felt. She’d forgotten what it was like, to be this close to another person. To let go completely. “Blowback was gonna get me anyway.”

“Blowback?”

“You know… when you use your powers. Nature getting what’s hers after you push too far.”

“I don’t get that.”

Ellie sighed. “Figures. So unfair.” 

“You are completely right. I’m just going to sit us on the ground, okay?”

“--hurts.”

“I know, beauty. I’m sorry. Can you move your legs for me?” 

And though the last thing she wanted to do was move - for him or anybody else - she somehow found herself laying on top of him as he leaned back against the bench, bracing her from either side. She wondered if he was worried about his friends finding him like this, or, like the girls, they had all collectively decided to adopt an attitude of selective blindness. It wouldn’t last very long, anyway. They had to leave town by tomorrow at the latest if they wanted to find Patch Village on time. 

Karma was a bitch. She’d started off wanting to destroy this man and there she was, seeking solace even if Ellie hadn’t been the one worst affected. 

“So you still don’t have a jacket then?” he asked.

“Says the guy who’s walking around without a shirt on.” She forced her eyes open and looked up at him, hoping that his face would be a safer subject of observation than his chest or his stomach. 

She was wrong. From the proud turn of his cheek to the bad boy lips to the stubble, there were just too many things about him that drew her in. Pretty much the same ones that her friends found utterly repulsive, in fact, seemed to Ellie his best features. 

“I was digging a grave,” he said, softly. “Seemed like a waste to spoil my nice clothes when I don’t know where the next laundromat is.”

“Wish I thought of that last night,” Ellie said. “I’d have put on something more suitable for a vampire attack.”

Ryu’s hand slid up and she felt him work the elastic out of her hair carefully. Then his fingers ran through her locks, massaging her scalp. “Careful,” she said, wincing.

“Did you bump your head?”

“A bit. S’not a concussion, though, I’d have known by now.”

He resumed the stroking, more slowly now, feeling and testing to avoid hurting her further. 

“How are you?” she asked, voice rasping. 

“For someone who was possessed against his will and forced to attack my friends? Eh, pretty good, actually. Not nearly as bad as the last time it happened, anyway.” 

“Millie cried herself to sleep,” Ellie said, noticing him flinch. “If she hadn’t been so exhausted, I don’t know if she would have stopped.” 

“I’m sorry.” He looked in actual pain as he said that.

It occurred to her, too late, that he would probably take this the wrong way. Between all the death and misery they had all experienced, there were too many things that she’d thrown by the wayside. Too much to deal with, too petty in the grand scheme of things. 

Not to him, clearly.

Lifting her least injured hand, she splayed her palm over his heart. “I know you were protective of him,” she said. She didn’t need to clarify who _ him _ was. “If it helps, I can hate him for the three of us.”

“I don’t hate Lyserg,” Ryu said, almost automatically. “I… don’t know how I feel, to be honest.”

“Being sucker-punched by family is the worst,” Ellie said. “You’re hurting but you still love them. Brain’s telling you to get away and protect yourself, heart’s remembering every nice thing they ever did. Hating them seems like a betrayal.”

He didn’t reply for a long time, staring ahead and lost in thought. Then he picked up her hand and kissed it. “Thank you for the offer. I appreciate it.”

“Seems like the least I can do. You saved Millie, after all.”

“After attacking her. And you.” He finally turned his attention to her and Ellie felt her stomach drop. Did he know how dangerous those eyes of his were, or was he just this sincere with everybody? 

_ The latter, most likely. He’s everything you’re not. _ Their joined hands fell to her stomach.

“Boris forced his guardian spirit in your body and then made you act against your will,” she said, trying to distract herself from the flash of panic that having any sensation near that part of her body caused. “I’d never hold that against you.”

“You did more than not hold it against me, though. The X-Laws would have left you go - they said as much. Instead, you put yourselves in harm’s way to buy us all some time.”

“Some time that was,” she muttered, bitter in spite of herself. “The most overhyped ten minutes in history since my ex-boyfriend.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Ten minutes can feel like a century when you’re fighting. Especially when you’re outnumbered.” Ryu leaned in and brushed his lips against the bruise on her eye. “Thank you.”

“Thank Millie. She knew I wouldn’t let her fight by herself.”

The hand over her stomach flexed. She held her breath, waiting for him to ask. Expecting him to ask. But instead of prying, he just said, “I know. Thank you anyway.” 

“This doesn’t change anything. I’d still fight you in the Tournament if I have to.”

“After what I witnessed today, I’m actually looking forward to it.” He looked up, suddenly. “Your little one is coming.”

The question hung between them. Selective blindness or not, Millie wasn’t going to just keep quiet if she saw them embraced like this. Yoh and his friends would have things to say about him consorting with her. He didn’t deserve to have his loyalty called into question, but that was exactly what would happen.

“Up to you,” she said. She’d never force anyone to come dancing in her storm.

With a sigh, Ryu caressed her hair again, then got up and moved at a respectable distance just as Millie came out on the clearing. Ellie prepared herself to lie, but Millie just knelt down by her and threw her arms around her neck.

Neither said a word. They asked for forgiveness the same way they granted it. 

From the corner of her eye, Ellie could see Ryu standing and preparing to leave. She opened her mouth to say goodbye, but he just shook his head and tapped his hand against his heart twice. 

All the better. 

Some things were best left unsaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you playing at home, the fic in question was "The Lost Boys" which later got pulled and re-published as "Grave Refrain." I can confirm it is indeed excellent in both versions.
> 
> This series, if you can't tell, isn't ever getting the p-2-p treatment. WAY too tied with the source material for that, and that's probably for the best.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> Also this chapter won't make any sense out of context. 
> 
> I asked my muse why we wrote it this way and she ran off after a shiny before she could answer. *shrug*

_ Present Day, Domino Outer Isles Ferry Terminal _

“What’s the story with this?” Ellie asked, sliding her thumb up his wrist and poking it through the rip in his jacket. “You don’t strike me as the type to go around with a five-inch hole in your clothes as a statement.”

Ryu chuckled. It was a hard thing to make natural when one’s body was trying to hold as still as possible, but he liked to think he pulled it off. “Not very exciting, I’m afraid. I took a tumble off a motorcycle the other day and I don’t have anything to fix this on me.”

“I might. Can I have a closer look?”

Was it too early to make a joke about her wanting to take his clothes off? 

Probably. And it wouldn’t be much of a joke, considering how his eyes kept wandering to the exposed skin on her throat and collar.

Ellie took the jacket from him and turned the sleeve over, examining the tear up close. “Good stitching,” she said. “And that’s a strong thread. I can try and fix that for you, so long as you don’t mind me using a slightly different color than the rest of the seam.”

“I wouldn’t know, honestly.” 

He watched her pull out a large sewing kit from her backpack, then don a pair of glasses with ridiculous magnification. Nobody around them seemed to notice - in fact, most the patrons were now doodling or reading or playing video games. The staff were chatting in the corner. No strange looks or suspicious stares came his way. It was as though having a beautiful person next to him made him less scary.

“Safety pins?” he asked, watching her prepare the tear.

“You want to make sure the fabric lies even, or else the stitching will pull awkwardly.” She paused to thread a needle and asked after his other friends. “Yoh and Ana are living the married life, obviously, and Lyserg is off being a superstar, but what about Horo Horo and Chocolove?”

“Chocolove is out on probation now,” Ryu said. “We’re talking about him taking a job at the onsen with me as soon as we arrange a working visa. It’s not been very easy for him.” 

She nodded, not looking up from the prep. As sewing usually such a production or was she pulling back?

“Horo Horo’s been working on his farm pretty much since the tournament ended. He was struggling a while back but he managed to get a loan off Ren to get things back on track. He and Pirika are doing a lot better now.” 

“The flower business isn’t great for anybody. Sally got a shop off the old owners so cheap last year, it might as well have been free. Glad to hear Horo Horo pulled through, though. It’s rare that a person can actually make their dream real without the tournament.”

“I guess…”

“Did I say something wrong? You’re not awfully big on the detail.” She glanced up at him, bug-eyes blinking behind her lenses. It was almost too adorable. 

“We haven’t had that many chances to catch up.” Ryu looked away. “We were practically living on top of each other during the tournament, so we assumed that afterward, we would continue to be as close.” Not the case. In fact, it was almost embarrassing how quickly life pulled them in different directions after that. It was one thing to become friends during a difficult time and support each other through a crisis; wholly another to return to the real world. 

Was this what would happen with him and Ellie, too? They’d never been boyfriend and girlfriend in the traditional sense of the word, but still… if she had come to see him the day after the victory, would it have made any difference? Their relationship had been defined by stolen minutes and clandestine trysts, their hunger only matched by the risk of getting caught. 

For years, Ryu had been thinking of Ellie as some great heartbreaker, but maybe she’d been the wiser of the two. What did he begrudge her? The awkwardness of trying to maintain intimacy across hundreds of miles, as the tedium of everyday life pressed down on them?

“—still appreciate it.”

“Hm?”

“Woolgathering?” She raised an eyebrow. “I was saying your friends probably still appreciate it when you meet, even if it isn’t as often as before.”

“Yeah, suppose so.” Ryu shrugged. “I can’t do much beyond cook a good dinner for all of us.”

“Don’t underestimate that. I can count on one hand the amount of times we haven’t had cereal for dinner since Lilly moved out.” She finally started sewing, laying down tiny, careful stitches down his sleeve. 

“I envy you, nonetheless,” Ryu said. “You were able to keep your friends.”

“’S a bit different for us, though.”

He remembered. Sharona and Sally had pretty much spelled it out for them when they’d been fighting Yoh. _ Nowhere to return to. Not going back even if we wanted. _

“You are better,” he said. “You are family.”

“Family isn’t always sunshine and roses. Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Ellie smiled, “I would choose my girls before any biological relatives all day, every day. But it’s not easy when all you have is each other for years, and then you try to make your own way into the world. Take Sharona. When she first started to fall for her boyfriend—”

She paused her task and chuckled. “He’s the father of her children and I still call him a boyfriend. Talk about Freudian slips.” She shook her head. “Five years they’ve been together now. He’s encouraged her to explore her talents and career, supported her when she needed support, found a way to help when… well… he helped us all. Millie even dated his brother for a little. And yet—”

“Yet?”

“Somewhere at the back of my mind, I still think he’s not good enough for her. I have no reason to feel that way, but I do. I grew up with that woman. She’s seen me at my best and at my worst. As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t a person alive who deserves her.” Ellie blinked a few times and made a face. “Family is messed up.”

Ryu didn’t want to take her hand again - not when she was holding a needle as long as his finger - so he did the next best thing and ran the back of his hand down her cheek. 

“Sounds like perfectly natural feelings to have,” he said. “I can only imagine what Ren’s family said when he got married.”

Ellie stiffened against his hand, and then looked down again. “Yeah?” she said casually, but her body language betrayed her. 

_ She doesn’t want to talk about Ren. _

It occurred to him, suddenly, that there was another topic of conversation she had been avoiding this whole time, besides her own love life. He’d missed it before, but now it seemed to crystallize in the air, throwing up a barrier between them.

“It’s been a rough few years for him,” Ryu said. “He and his wife had a baby, and we teased him mercilessly about not letting Yoh win on that front either.”

“It is kinda funny when you think about it.” Ellie looked supremely uncomfortable.

_ She knows about Jeanne. _

Ryu couldn’t imagine how - Ren’s marriage had been super-secret, and even the world at large seemed unsure if he had had a child until he suddenly announced it after his wife’s death. 

“Ellie…” he started, then paused, unsure how to proceed. “Do you not… like Ren for some reason?”

“Hardly,” she said primly. 

“You seem to know how this story will end, though.”

Her lips pursed. Then, sighing, she raised her eyes. “Just how deep do you want to go with this?” she asked.

“With what?”

“This.” She gestured between them. “The… conversation. Do you want to keep this catch up light, or do you want me to really tell you everything the girls and I have been up to this past decade? Cause it’s not all pretty.”

Ryu frowned. “Did you girls have anything to do with the Red Crimson?” Her eyes flashed with a sudden fury, and he knew he’d hit the target. Swallowing, he continued, “I’ll go as deep as you do.”

Ellie nodded, curtly, then resumed her stitching. 

“Two and a half years after the tournament,” she started, “we received a letter in the post, informing us that we owed three and a half million dollars with interest to the Tao family—” 

***

_ “Aren’t you even a little bit worried?”_

_At first he didn’t even realize Ren was talking to him. The Tao heir so rarely addressed him without it being accompanied by an insult or a threat, it had honestly taken Ryu a moment to recognize his speaking voice. He looked up from where he was sprawled after a sparring session, confused._

_“What about?”_

_“Sleeping with one of ** them. ** I mean, even for you, that’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.”_

_The disgust was so palatable, Ryu didn’t even register the insult to himself. Or wonder how Ren even knew about him and Ellie having sex. _

_“That sounds like none of your business, young master,” he said, finally._

_“Isn’t it? Setting aside multiple attempts at assassination, these five are obviously using us to get to Patch Village. Doesn’t that bother you?”_

_“They’re being smart about their situation and resources. Wouldn’t you do the same in their place?”_

_“I’d think twice about trading sex for intel.”_

_Ryu glanced at him again, but the younger man wasn’t looking at him. His jaw was set and there was a muscle playing on the side of his neck that spoke of frustration, yes, but not genuine anger. As though Ryu was allowed to get away with something and it was unfair._

_Knowing that it would piss him off further, he grinned and turned his head to the sun and allowed himself to cool down in peace._

_“Something funny?”_

_“Odd progression, is all. If killing them doesn’t work, then maybe seduction will… usually it’s the other way around. I don’t mind taking them to Patch village - you know as well as I do that if we faced off in a real battle, we would win.”_

_“If you didn’t want someone to comment, you should have at least tried to hide the rug burn.” _

***

He’d thought he’d heard sour grapes before, but damn.

By the time she was done talking, Ellie had sewn the hole in his jacket shut and had moved onto something she’d called ‘felling the seams’. Her voice had barely changed tone throughout the whole thing. Ryu, for his part, wanted to crawl under the table and die.

“So…” he managed, when he gathered enough of his wits to do so. “What does one do if they receive a severed head in the post?”

“Luckily for us, it disintegrated within an hour of us opening the box,” Ellie said. “I’m guessing the Tao family would know how to make that happen. _ Jiangshi _ are their specialty after all.”

“Ah. That was… nice of him.”

Ellie looked up, brow furrowing. “You really didn’t know?”

“Like I said, we don’t talk that much these days.” And honestly, after hearing that, Ryu was pretty much ready to lay into the snotty little punk like nobody’s business. “And Sharona’s boyfriend got you out of this?”

“Sharona got us out of this. Her boyfriend met with Ren to inform him that his explanation had been received and that we didn’t want to see him again.” She bent over and cut the thread with her teeth. “I mean—” she went on, turning the sleeve over to examine her handiwork “—he might have, if she asked him. But I doubt she would have even fallen into his orbit if she hadn’t invented what she did. Here, try this out.”

Ryu was so distracted, he didn’t even object as she got up and slid the jacket over his shoulders. It wasn’t until he examined himself more closely that he realized he could hardly even see where the rip had been. The sleeve was as good as before.

“Ellie, that’s… amazing.”

“You’re lucky it tore where it did. It might have been more obvious if one of the panels had ripped.” She paused. “It’s a very good jacket. You should wear it a lot.”

“Yeah? I got it off a thrift shop.”

She trailed a finger down one of the seams in the back, passing his shoulder blade and stopping at the middle of his ribs. “Someone put effort into it,” she said. “Lots of paneling, not just a few pieces for the back and sleeve.” Then she sat back down. “Plus, it took an actual fall from a bike to rip one of the stitches. That’s skill, right there.”

He coughed, reminding himself that she was talking about his clothes, not about him. And he was trying to get information from her.

“Ellie…” he started, “When you first started getting those letters… why did you not reach out?”

“Sally offered to speak to Ren,” she said, as she started to put away the various pieces of her kit. “But none of us had a way of getting a hold of him directly, and it wasn’t like we could just hop up on a plane and pay him a visit.”

“Yeah, but… why did you not reach out to any of us, either?” Six years wasn’t a long time ago. Yoh, at least, was on social media. So was Horo Horo, if only occasionally. They could have found them with minimal effort. “Don’t tell me you actually thought you should pay up.”

She looked supremely uncomfortable. 

“Ellie!”

“We did bring the plane down,” she said. “And we tried to kill you at least twice more. Even after… after Sally told us there was more between her and Tao that met the eye, we figured that we owed him at least to try and make amends.”

“You could barely afford to feed yourselves. Lilly started to work as a dominatrix because of this.” 

“Yeah, well. It wasn’t like we had any reason to believe you guys would care.”

“Screw that. I would have cared.”

Her hands clenched around her kit, slamming it shut. Her eyes could rival the fury of the storm outside when she finally took off her glasses and met his gaze directly. 

“You said you wanted to go deep,” she said, voice quiet and chilling. “Here you are. We made terrible, shitty decisions because we believed that this was what we deserved.”

“Did you, really? Or were you just too proud to ask for help?”

Her nostrils flared and her hands shook. Ryu was aware of Tokageroh trying to whisper something at him unobtrusively, but he couldn’t hear him over the rush of blood in his ears. The air felt charged, like they were about to leap at each other across the table. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss her or strangle her, though.

The standoff would have gone forever if one of the baristas hadn’t ambled over.

“Um… sorry guys, but we’re closing soon?” he said, looking between the two of them like a kid caught out. 

Ellie broke eye contact first, putting her things away quickly. Ryu, however, glanced at his watch. “Already? It’s not four o’clock yet.”

“Everything’s closing in an hour,” the boy said, shoulders hunching. “You’re welcome to stay at the main seating area but management isn’t keen on employees getting stuck here overnight.”

Of course. If the storm continued, the risk of flooding only went up. Ryu’s heart sank as he realized just how screwed they would all be… or how much time he’d wasted in sitting and chit-chatting.

Ellie seemed to have come to the same conclusion because she thanked the barista politely, hoisted her luggage over her shoulders, and even helped carry the empty cups back to the counter. Already, the cafe was emptying up. 

They had completely lost track of their surroundings.

Ryu went out into the main passenger area, noting the new queue forming for taxis and the slew of “canceled” messages for ferries and flights, too. Outside, it was as though it was midnight, the storm seeming to build its strength upon the misery of the people stuck on the island. 

“What’s your plan?” Ellie asked, coming up to his elbow. “Camp?”

He didn’t want to answer. Didn’t think he could without snapping, even though he knew that he had no right to be mad. What business was it of his, what they did with their lives? Even if it was supremely stupid and irresponsible?

“Or maybe you’ll summon Billy again? Does the hitchhiking technique work when you are in the middle of the sea?”

“For as long as there are brothers of mine on the road, it will work. But no. I think I’ll do something silly and extravagant and get a hotel room for the night. You know, since I’m spoiled like that.” He glanced down and found her tapping away on her phone. “Are you arranging an air lift for yourself?”

“No, I was having the same thought as you. Spoil myself, since it’s such a miserable night. Hotels are all booked up, though?”

Not possible. There had to be one - even a fleabag hole in the wall would have some spaces. But as he looked over her shoulder as she clicked on site after site, he could see the same things. 

No vacancies. 

She changed tack halfway through her search and brought up the local gazette, or at least the e-version of it. Ryu wondered if she’d just gotten bored and decided to sleep on the benches here after all, when she scrolled down to the ads and gave a triumphant ‘hah’. 

“Okay,” she said, pulling up a number. “Let’s see if this works.”

“Let’s see if what works?”

“Quiet. I have a plan.” She waited. One ring. Two. Three. Then, “Hello, yes, is this Mrs Ramsey? Hi, I’m calling about the advert you put in about your attic. I was due to catch a boat today but the storm has closed the whole marina, is there any chance I could rent it for the night?… oh… oh, I see, just a holiday rental, you say… right…” She bit her lip and seemed to consider this. “What if I booked it for the week and only used it for the night? I mean, the weather might not improve tomorrow, either… Sure, I can pay cash.” She tapped her foot impatiently. “Yes. Yes. If you text me the address… yes, absolutely. How many guests?” Ellie looked at Ryu, raising an eyebrow quizzically. 

Was she asking him if he wanted to spend the night with her? 

And was he considering it?

Tokageroh was silent. Then again, he _ had _ warned him that he was done giving him advice.

Then again, what was the alternative? Going door to door in every hotel on the island to find out whether or not their online listings were lying?

“It’s just me and my partner,” she said once he nodded. “Yes. Yes, no problem.” Her lips quirked up. “I assure you, he’s a perfect gentleman.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King or... well... there's no other things mentioned in this chapter, are there.
> 
> In fact, I'm pretty sure this chapter pretty much falls into the 'porn with no plot' category.
> 
> Ooops.
> 
> Takes place after episode 34 of the anime.

_ Middle-of-nowhere, nine years ago _

“You’ll pay for this, you bitch.”

“Sure, dear. Now keep on walking.” 

Tilda turned and glared at her furiously. “Think you’ve seen the last of me? I’ll get you all in the tournament. You’ll be begging me for mercy. You and that fucking brat of yours.”

“There’s tree roots and shrubs everywhere, I’d keep my eye on the road if I were you.” And broken bottles. And used condoms. Really, the whole forest around the hot springs looked like the aftermath of a teenage rave, which only made the contrast between it and the resort all the more comical. Ellie was very glad she was wearing thick boots. 

Her prisoner huffed and walked faster. “What’s Sharona’s deal anyway? Can’t get rid of me herself, so she sends her lackey to do the dirty work?”

“If Sharona had her way, we would drop you off at the nearest bus station, but we overruled her.” Ellie breathed a sigh of relief as they found a nearby field and started to walk through the tall grass. 

“So what? You’re doing a Children of the Corn re-enactment?”

Without a warning, Ellie gripped the rope tighter, causing the prisoner to stop. Then she met the eyes of the judge standing atop a nearby rock pile.

She didn’t know how or why, but there were always judges nearby wherever Yoh and his crew went. It seemed too optimistic to think they were out to ensure heath and safety regulations were adhered to. She didn’t believe in luck. Far more likely was that the council viewed the Asakura boy as a valuable contender. 

Because who said the fight was supposed to be fair.

Tilda didn’t see the judge until Ellie took the restraints off her. Then her eyes widened. “What the… why did you bring me here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? This rope cost me forty cents a yard and I want it back.” Ellie folded it up, using her wrist and elbow as a brace. 

“I’m not going with him,” Tilda said. “And you can’t prove I was doing anything wrong.”

“Who says that I have to prove anything?” Ellie raised her voice slightly. “Hey, Silva, the rule is that any fight in front of a judge counts as an official match, right?”

“That is correct,” the man said, not moving from his rock pile. “Though I would be remiss if I didn’t point out the obvious disparity in skill here.”

Tilda sneered at her. “What are you doing? Looking to get your ass kicked, Lolita?”

_ Honestly, she thinks that’s an insult? _ Ellie rolled her eyes, summoning Kamaitachi.

“You said you’d wipe the floor with me,” she teased. “No time like the present.”

Tilda glared. 

If it were her, Ellie would have been running by now. She wasn’t some noble warrior, and didn’t see fighting as a pretty affair. 

However, Ellie had a very keenly honed sense of people. And Tilda, she knew, did not. 

Something which the latter proved by charging at her without even attempting an Oversoul first. 

Ellie took the punch and rolled with it, getting under her guard and laying hard into her stomach and throat. Tilda shrieked, grabbed a fistful of her hair, and pulled her to the ground, finally screaming for Kanae to get into the magnifying glass.

Too late. 

Releasing a burst of _ furioku _, Ellie pumped it through her fists, slamming them both into Tilda’s chest and sending her flying back. She barely registered the sting as a clump of her hair was wrenched out, channeling her own pain into her hands as her own Oversoul materialized.

Tilda took aim and fired, once, twice. Unfortunately for her, Ellie was smaller than a stationary van, and it was nearly impossible to hit a fast moving target. By the time the second shot scattered pebbles and dirt, Ellie was already on her, claw out, channeling as much power as she could into the very tip of the nail as it ripped through Tilda’s Oversoul. 

With a shriek, Sharona’s rival threw her hands out, wrapping Ellie’s face and trying to gauge out her eyes. Ellie let the momentum carry her back, grabbed hold of Tilda’s wrists, braced both feet against her hips and thrust out, freeing herself and rolling them both on the grass. Tilda kicked her shin, then her stomach.

Ellie cackled like a witch.

“What’s so funny!” the other woman shouted.

“You fight like a boy, that’s what.” Ellie raised a fist, filling it with as much _ furioku _ as she could, before slamming it into Tilda’s side, hitting her with all the pain she’d inflicted and them some.

Maintaining consciousness, let alone an Oversoul was pretty much impossible after that. Tilda’s eyes rolled to the back of her head and she dropped into the grass.

***

“Interesting technique,” Silva remarked, as he bent over to pick her opponent up. “I shall take her to a safe area and inform her of her disqualification some distance away from you.”

“Thanks.” Ellie released Kamaitachi and then dusted her hands off. “And um… sorry for the impromptu match. She stole Sharona’s guardian spirit and tried to use it to hurt the boys.” 

“A grave insult to you, I’m sure.” His expression, hidden behind his tall collar, betrayed nothing. “I’ll take my leave of you now. I believe you’ll be in safe hands.”

Safe hands? Ellie’s own hands were pretty safe, thank you very much. But as always, the priest flew off before she could give him a piece of her mind, the damned fucker. 

“Well,” she said, half to Kamaitachi and half to herself. “There’s that then.”

Her guardian spirit didn’t seem to hear her. In fact, she was transfixed by something in the distance. Ellie followed her gaze and started, noticing someone watching her from the forest. A tall figure, wearing a traditional Japanese robe. 

She barely recognized him with his hair down. 

“Relax,” she told the ghost. “He’s not a danger tonight.”

Her guardian spirit looked down at her, and, for as much as human expressions escaped her, somehow managed to convey disapproval with a single gesture. Of course. Ellie hadn’t changed into any appropriate fighting clothes, after all. She was covered in scratches and dirt, her hair was a rat’s nest, and her skirt had hiked nearly up to her waist. 

She took a deep breath. She had a choice here - she could scurry out of the grass and carry her embarrassment. Or, she could work it.

“There’s a strange man in the forest,” she said as she sashayed back. She didn’t need to raise her voice - he could probably hear her as well as he had the fight itself. 

“There’s a strange woman in the field,” Ryu replied, arms crossed, leaning against a tall tree. “Tell me, do all your fights get this dirty?”

Ellie could feel the weight of his stare, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, as he took in the damage. She raised her chin and walked out of the confines of the grass, draping the rope across her chest. 

“If I’d known I had a bigger audience, I’d have made more of an effort. Thrown us both into a mud puddle, maybe,” she said. “But then I’d have had to charge for the show.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Don’t remember that part of the first round.”

“Poor baby,” she crooned, pausing to grab her ankle and stretch. “You missed out on great fun.”

“Maybe the second round will make up for it.” He pushed himself off the tree and fell into step next to her, as they slowly picked their way through the shrubs, back to the hotel and the camp ground. “How come you fought her? I thought she was Sharona’s rival.”

“We drew straws,” Ellie said, glancing at him. “Why? Were you angling for a go at her yourself?”

“No. No, she didn’t do anything to me.” 

“I see. So you just decided to tag along and make sure I didn’t run into the big bad wolf on my way back.” She batted her eyelashes, exaggerating her expression to lighten the mood. Anything, really, to distract herself from the heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. There was no reason for her to feel in this way, unless she was experiencing a vision…

…or, that the two of them were finally done dancing around each other.

“Seemed like a good idea. Plus, I don’t get many chances of seeing you in action. I was curious what kind of fighter you are.”

“Oh? And what am I?”

“Savage and uncivilized,” he said without mercy. “It was very hot to look at.”

Ellie snorted, but it came out wrong. Choked and high, like a sob. Was this a far cry from the boys who told her she was a magical fairy princess just to get a grope under the bleachers.

“You’re impossible,” she said.

“Just answering your question, beauty.”

The vision slammed into her then, making her stumble. If she hadn’t thrown her hand against a nearby oak, she would have surely fallen, as a barrage of sensations cascaded over her in rapid succession. Cold rain, lashing her and making her shiver. Her body throbbing with the aftershocks of love and panic. Her throat raw from screaming someone’s name, the wind snatching it before she could tell whose it was. Cruel words echoing through her mind. _ All you ever saw was a loser. This is who I will forever be to you. _

And then it was gone, as fast as it had come, leaving her panting and disoriented. 

_ Gods above and below, was this a useless gift. _

Ellie was vaguely aware of Ryu’s hand on her shoulder, an anchor to her storm. She looked up and found him staring at her carefully.

Of course, he’d probably seen something like this before. She doubted she was the only one.

“Want me to get help?” he asked.

“No. No, it’s over now.” Sighing, she let herself fall back against the tree, closing her eyes briefly. “Maybe you should take it easy on the compliments though. Just to be sure.”

“Compliments are not the same as the truth.”

Ellie laughed. Lonely fools, both of them. This was going to end badly, but so what? It wasn’t as though anything mattered anymore.

Grabbing a fistful of his robes, she pulled him closer, until his whole body was covering hers. “I guess you’ll have to find a non-verbal way to tell me the truth, then,” she said, looking up into his eyes. “Cause I don’t think your words are working.”

“That so?” Ryu bent his knees so that they were eye to eye. “And how might that work?”

_ Wait, was he actually asking her? Instead of assuming and just going for the obvious like some asshole? _ Ellie pouted and tapped her lip, resisting the urge to grin with delight.

“Hm, let’s see. I guess you might have to immobilize me to start with. Since, you know, I have a tendency to disappear.” 

There was a flash in those dark eyes, and she wondered if this was the part where he called her a weirdo and walked away. Instead, he took a hold of her wrist and pulled her hand away from her mouth. Then he ran his hands up her sides, slowly pushing both her arms up until they were pinned above her head. 

“I mean, I have rope,” she said. 

“I have big hands,” he replied. “What else?”

Ellie was so surprised he was complying, she briefly drew a blank. “Depends on how much time we have.” She paused. “Or health stuff, of course.” 

“Anything I should know about?”

She blushed. “No. And um… no risk of pregnancy either.”

“Pill?”

“Something like that.” He didn’t need to know about which parts of her were still there and which weren’t. 

There was a very long pause, as though he had heard her silent remark and was deliberating whether to follow up. Didn’t seem the sort of thing he’d be interested in, seeing as he was just looking for a quick tumble in the hay, but you never knew with some guys. Then, thankfully, he nodded once. “Nothing on my end either. And… thank you for the heads up.” Ryu pressed himself closer. “Back to the main question then. What else?”

Ellie sighed and leaned back against the tree, enjoying the feeling of restraint, of being held so completely and so tightly. She slid one of her legs against his, noticing him tense his jaw. “Well, I _ have _ been an unbelievable tease. Someone should really teach me a lesson.”

“That so?”

“Maybe while groping me and fingering me while I can’t do anything about it. That out to show me what happens when I’m mean to people.”

“Not so sure about that.” He dipped his head and pressed his lips against the base of her throat. His voice vibrated through her. “I like my women to cling to me.”

“I can cling when the fucking starts. I’m sure I’ll need to.”

Their eyes met in the dark. All around them, the night was dark and peaceful. 

“You really want this?”

Being fucked like an animal? When she had so much riding on this tournament, this escape, this whole mad scheme. _ Yes, fucking please! _ Ellie nuzzled the side of his face, or as much as she could. “I think the real question is, do you?”

Letting out a very long breath, he stroked his free hand up and down her side. Every stroke bunched her shirt up further and further, until he found bare skin. “Are you kidding me?” Their lips brushed. “I’ve been dreaming about this since the day you first attacked me.”

Funny. So had she.

Maybe next time she’d put him on the receiving end of things, she thought hazily. She’d take her time, as he was doing now, revealing bits of skin and touching them at her leisure. She could use the rope. Leave him shivering in the cold air. Kissing and licking his skin. Getting on her knees…

_ Wait, what? _

His grip on her wrists changed, bringing them down and pressing them between her breasts while he was pushing her skirt up her waist. Ellie inhaled sharply, but it was too late - his face was right there and the fabric was out of the way, revealing the surgical scar that ran across the bottom of her belly.

Ryu paused. Even without her gasp, her body seizing up would have alerted him that something was wrong. _ Idiot. You’d just played along he might not have noticed. _ Surely he wasn’t going to be bothered, right? It wasn’t her only scar, and he wasn’t exactly free from them either. 

But it was a lot more than a mere souvenir left over from an old fight. The placement and length was just too specific, too… neat. Worse, it had never healed as it ought to, leaving the skin distorted like some grim smile. 

She could feel his fingers, rough and calloused as he ran them around it. Tender, still, but he was certainly putting all his attention there. “Come back here,” she said, adding, “Please.” 

Ryu didn’t look up, instead kissing her middle, his whiskery cheek a rough contrast to the softness of his lips. She inhaled, feeling the lust swell, all the while fighting the anxiety of him asking.

“Please come back.”

“I’m right here,” he replied, finally dipping his hand under the waistband of her underwear and sending any coherent thoughts scattering faster than she could scream. She bit her lip, trying to keep herself upright. His fingers were so much bigger than hers, and the pressure was nothing like what she could achieve herself. He stroked her hard and fast, not moving from where he was kneeling, head pressed against her stomach as though he could hear her body respond before she could verbalize it.

Or maybe he was listening for something else. Or someone else. 

Damn it. She’d forgot.

“Wait…” she summoned whatever higher brain function she had and called Kamaitachi to her. “Tell Shar I’m fine,” she said quickly, ignoring the fact that her guardian was seeing her in an extremely compromising position. “Tilda’s been dealt with. I’ll be a bit late. Don’t wait up.”

Kamaitachi gave her equivalent of an eyeroll, but did as she was told. She always did. 

Ellie breathed a sigh of relief and looked down to find Ryu looking at her in surprise. “What?”

“You sent your spirit away.” He sounded genuinely shocked.

“Um… yeah?” Did he _ want _ the others to come and find them? She doubted he was the kind who liked an audience and she certainly didn’t. 

“But without her, you’re defenseless.”

She raised an eyebrow, then opened her legs wider. “Don’t be silly. I’m with you, aren’t I?”

Something flashed in his eyes then - recognition, or… she didn’t have time to ponder it. He was standing, turning her around and pressing her front against the tree, keeping her pinned with his body. 

And completely hidden from view. 

Ellie smiled. “Tired of kneeling yet?” she teased while he pushed her underwear out of the way and filled her with one smooth stroke. Her fingers dug into the rough bark; she breathed as her body remembered this particular feeling. 

He wrapped his arms around her, one bracing her torso while the other slipped between her legs.

“Changed my mind,” he said, and she was gratified to hear he was as flustered as she was. “You’ll need something stronger to grip onto for this.”

_ Promises, promises. _ She thought. 

Promises on which he delivered before the night was out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> La di da, I still don't own Shaman King or Yu Gi Oh.
> 
> I am gonna regret staying up so hard tomorrow....

_ Present Day, Domino Outer Isles _

Ellie made them wait until she could sense a lull coming. “There’s always a lull before the worst hits,” she told him when he asked for clarification. “Always.”

Ryu didn’t question her sudden expertise in storms, focusing his attention instead on digging the umbrella from the very bottom of his duffel. “Ana-sama did say I’d need it,” he said, finally finding it and quickly shoving his things back into place. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this.”

His companion, wisely, did not comment. Nor did he expect her to.

“There it is,” she said, even as the storm howled louder than before. “Get ready.”

He stood and threw both their bags over his shoulder. “I was born ready.”

“Oh, my god! Can you not?”

“It’s a perfectly fine expression.”

“Yeah, if you’re ninety.” She rolled her eyes then grabbed a hold of his elbow. “Let’s go.”

Outside was freezing. Even with his outer layers, the wind pierced him to the bone. Next to him, Ellie clutched the garment bag to her chest as the two set out at a brisk pace. 

Miraculously, the rain did ease up a bit - not to a total stop but enough not to blow the umbrella out of his hand as he tried to hold it up over the two of them. Her fingers felt like a firebrand, simultaneously familiar and strange. It took him a hot minute before he figured out why. 

“Remember the last time we were walking around like this?” he asked, trying to distract himself from shivering. “When you were helping me get away from those guys in Patch Village?”

“You mean when you were so distracted you nearly got ambushed?” Her shoulders were nearly up to her ears as she spoke. “I still can’t believe you missed a tail.”

“We all have down days.” He pulled her out of the way quickly before a passing car sped through a puddle. “Never figured out what they wanted?”

“We fought them while you were having your showdown with Hao,” Ellie said, distracted. “They were among the fighters who were trying to curry some last minute favors… you know, since their previous attempts clearly failed.”

He nodded, trying to remember the details. Someone had relayed something to him, about factions going at each other while Yoh was defeating Hao, but he couldn’t recall any specific things until he remembered.

Finding Ellie among the revelers. Pulling her out of the way of the crowd. The bruise on her face, made even scarier in the half-light of the alley.

“So that’s who split your lip,” he said. “Remind me to return the favor one day.”

“I don’t recall who split my lip. It was all a bit of a blur.”

“You fought more than one group?”

Ellie looked defensive. “Team Icemen was with us.”

“Uh-huh… and did that make it a fair fight?”

A muscle started to play on the side of her jaw. “No.”

He sighed. “You girls always picked the worst odds.”

“We did. And then we beat those odds, pretty much every time. Why would we ever stop?” She squeezed his arm as she steered them down a row of houses. “I think this is the address.”

_ The address _ turned out to be a farm by the sea, and, as they discovered, attic was a very generous way to describe the loft space above a refurbished garage. Their hostess, Mrs Ramsay, insisted on informing them about all the changes she’d made _ before all that AirBnB malarkey _ and pointed out all the features she’d bothered to put in, like a separate bathroom and a staircase that wasn’t missing any planks. Ryu suspected it had mostly been done so that the guests would never have to set foot in the main house, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

It was dry. That was what mattered.

“How much do I owe you for my half?” he asked, when Ellie was finished sorting out the details and saw their landlady off.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not letting you pay a king’s ransom for this, at least not by yourself.”

“You guys helped us out on more than one occasion,” Ellie said, pushing him lightly toward the stairs. “The least I can do is keep you out of the rain for a night or two.”

“Or seven.”

“Sure. Although you might change your mind - I saw at least three rat traps in here.”

***

Despite the initial bad impressions, the attic itself turned out to be both well-lit and warm. There was a clothing rail in one corner and a small table in the other. Mrs Ramsay had even laid out a pile of towels for them, along with an electric kettle, biscuits, and tea. It was almost cozy enough for him to disregard the fact that the “bed” was, in effect, a large mattress laid out directly on the floorboards.

“It could have been worse. We might have had to stay at a rent-by-the-hour,” Ellie said, misinterpreting his expression.

“I’ll take the floor,” he offered immediately. 

“Technically, we’ll both take the floor.” She hung up the garment bag and breathed out a sigh of relief as she examined it for rain damage. “You should go warm up. Take a shower. I’ll make us something to drink.” 

“Weren’t you the one who just ran through a storm in her shirt and trousers?”

“Yeah, but I want to call Millie more.” 

_ That’s right. She’s been in touch with her friends all day and they’re worried about her. _ Ryu could count on one hand when other people had done the same for him. Even his boys seemed to think that no news from him was good news. 

Unzipping his jacket, he threw it at her before she could object. “Put this on until you feel more human at least,” he said. “It’s not the latest fashion but at least it’s warm.”

“Good style is never out of fashion. Go. Shower before you die of frostbite.”

Ryu rolled his eyes, and before he could stop himself, said, in Japanese, “Fine, mother. Anything else?”

He blushed before the words were even out of his mouth. He blushed even further when she replied, “No, dad. I think we covered most of it.” 

Muttering something about giving her space to do her call, he beat a hasty retreat into the bathroom. It wasn’t until the door was closed on her that he realized - he’d spoken in Japanese. 

And she’d replied in kind.

***

Why would they stop indeed? He turned the question over and over in his head as he stood under the shower, trying hard not to listen for Ellie’s voice on the other side of the door. 

It was easy enough to dismiss all the Lilly 5 as pretenders. After all, they’d teamed up against Yoh and had only barely managed to give him a boo-boo. Even at the start, Ryu had been more than capable of holding his own against them.

What he didn’t think about was the fact that the girls had faced the same trials as him and the others, and they had come out on top. They’d earned their Oracle Bells and then won at least two fights each on the first round, a feat that even Yoh had struggled with. They’d managed to hold off the X-Laws for long enough to prevent a total massacre in that church nine years ago, and now he knew they’d also fought in the vanguard while Hao had attempted to seize power. Even Millie had been able to hold her own as a child, when people two or three times her age hadn’t even gotten through the qualifiers. 

He’d never stopped to consider any of that. Nor had he wondered how they’d even learned anything about using their powers. As far as he could tell, they had never had teachers. Nobody had come specifically to watch their matches or cheer them on. There had been no training sessions for them in the desert or wise mentors to give them a pep talk or a kick up the ass. They were, to his best knowledge, entirely self-taught. 

_ ** You really are whipped, aren’t you? ** _

Ryu met Tokageroh’s eyes in the mirror as he wiped the condensation from it. _** It’s a shower, not an engagement. **_

_**Not what I mean, and you know it. **_ The old bandit sat on top of the toilet and watched him as he tried to run a comb through his hair. _** Surely you’re not just realizing that these girls were in the tournament. You were right there when they first attacked you. **_

_ **I guess I never put two and two together. ** _

_**Wasn’t your business to put even one and one together, or may I remind you that we were on a mission to defeat a murderous psychopath at the time? **_ Tokageroh scoffed. _** It’s been years. Hardly an appropriate time to get all googly-eyed. **_

Googly-eyed… that was a new one, Ryu thought with a smile. _** I’d have preferred a razor and the chance to cook proper dinner, but I’ll take that. **_

Honestly, though, he didn’t see himself as becoming overly emotional over this. He was just going with the flow, as he always was. Ryu had started this day reopening old wounds and looking for closure. Instead, he’d discovered more than he’d bargained for and found out that he didn’t mind at all. So what if he was suddenly seeing things in a different light? That was good - it meant that he wasn’t getting stuck into old patterns either.

He came out of the bathroom to find Ellie kneeling in front of the open garment bag, glasses on, chewing on her lip as she was sewing a complicated trim onto the heavy black dress inside. She’d changed out of her wet clothes into… something else, which he couldn’t get a good look at because she was still wearing his jacket. 

In fact, from where he was standing, it looked like she was just wearing his jacket.

“That seems like a bold choice for a wedding,” he said, trying to distract himself.

“’S not for me,” she said, not looking at him. “It’s for Lilly.”

“The bride is wearing black?” 

“The original dress I made for her was gray,” Ellie sat back a little on her heels, a critical expression on her face. “She says she’s happy with it but… I don’t know, it just didn’t feel right. I started working on this last month and then I couldn’t stop until I finished it.”

He knelt on the mattress, a little ways behind her. “Was the original also this… Medieval-looking?”

“No. The original is far more… Fantasy Princess Elsa like. It’s fine. Perfectly serviceable, and Lilly insisted she wasn’t interested in turning into a _ zombie for the Wedding Industry _ and whatever.”

“But you didn’t think it suited her.”

“No. It was just too safe.”

Ryu studied the gown. He had a hard time imagining it on, but even on the hanger, it seemed to fall in an elegant way. He remembered what Ellie had said earlier about panels and seams. This dress seemed to have a lot of both. 

“I modeled it after a version of a houpellande, except without a waist seam because I like to make more work for myself.” Ellie explained, tugging at one of the ends and revealing a bright red undersleeve. “She’s marrying in a castle, after all. And the joke is always that she’s pretty Medieval in her approach to conflict management. I thought… I could see the silhouette and I could just imagine her walking down the aisle in something like this, and I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

“And you did it without telling her.”

“Didn’t want to stress her out. I figured that if she didn’t like it, she could always wear it to a costume party or something.” 

Hesitantly, he laid his hand over her shoulder. “It’s beautiful,” he said. “And you can tell a lot of hard work has gone into it. I doubt she’d treat it like a costume.”

Ellie sighed and leaned into his touch a little ways, before resuming her task. 

“How’s Millie?” he asked, noticing the steaming mugs of tea on the table. “She’s not having a lot of hard time with the stuff, is she?”

“She’s grand. Babysitting duties are keeping her plenty busy, although sharing those duties with Uncle Mouki is a little bit strained.”

“Uncle Mouki?”

“Mokuba Kaiba. He’s the brother I told you about.” A note of displeasure snaked into Ellie’s voice. “I just hope he won’t make it too difficult for her. Lilly’s got enough drama to handle without this teenage silliness.”

“If he’s half as mature as you say he is, he’ll know to follow other people’s cues.” Ryu brought her mug over and then held it for her again as she worked. “And if Millie is a tenth as committed as you are to this, then she will keep him in check.”

“I know, it’s over the top.” She turned and gave him a smile. “I mean, I might not even make it on time tomorrow, and I’m wasting precious time making something that Lilly didn’t ask for and which I’m not even sure she’d like. Talk about pointless tasks.”

“So why do it?” He cocked his head to the side, studying the dress again. 

“It’s silly.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Ellie fiddled with the hem. “Lilly… no, all the girls… I owe them more than I can say.” She did something with her thread, then cut it and suddenly the dress had a magnificent gold trim. She paused to admire it - or criticize her stitches, for all he knew - then put her needle away. “You were right earlier, you know. We should have just reached out and gotten to the bottom of things with Ren without resorting to extremes. But we genuinely believed that it had come to extremes… and when push came to shove, she, Sally and Sharona made the hard calls.”

Ryu thought through everything she had told him this day. The little things. The big things. The subjects she danced around. “You were afraid of what might happen if you did work that was less than savory,” he said. 

“Family services is a bitch. You can never be on their good side, and you don’t want to get on their bad books. I know. The four of us lived through that.” She looked down at her hands, now completely unoccupied, as they lay limp on top of her thighs. “If they’d gotten wind of the debt collectors, or the fights, they’d have taken Millie in a heartbeat. I couldn’t let that happen. The girls wouldn’t let that happen either.”

“But things turned out okay,” Ryu said. “Sharona has her partner and children. Lilly found a passion and is marrying someone she loves.”

“We didn’t know things would turn out like this,” Ellie said. “Hell, we didn’t know how things would turn out when we left our hometown, either. We just knew we wouldn’t last there, and we took a huge risk together. I wanted to do something to show I appreciate that.”

Just like she was happy to deal with the financial fallout of having to hire a room in an emergency. Just like she’d been shielding Millie all these years. 

He set their cups aside and then sat on the floor next to her, hugging her awkwardly from the side. “You’re a kind person, Ellie. Your friends are lucky to have you.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, but her body softened, relaxing against his own. The jacket gaped, giving him a glimpse of peach satin and black lace. The sort of beautiful thing that she probably wore on the regular, now that she could. He wouldn’t delude himself that it was for his benefit - after all, he was just a loser.

“I’ve spent the better part of a decade in the service of others,” Ryu said, rubbing her arm. “I know someone who works their fingers to the bone when I see them. Our souls become apparent through our actions, beauty, and yours is coming across loud and clear.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from her. He was a loser and he was being overly familiar. He was ready for her rebuke.

Instead, she turned her head and kissed him. 

He didn’t expect that to happen.

He had remembered it, imagined it, even craved it. But nothing was quite like the real thing - to actually have her in his arms after nine years and to find her wanting him again.

She tasted like tea and mint. Her hair was silk under his fingers. There could be no comparison between them - she was elegance and grace where he was just brawn and strength. That she wanted him anyway was a gift. It had always been a gift. 

Ellie sighed, climbing into his lap and straddling him as he leaned back against the mattress. She sucked on his tongue and ran her hands down his back, while rolling her hips against his. The twin sensations were almost too much for him to take. He wanted to roll them both over, rip the clothes off her and make her scream his name. Mark her in all the ways he hadn’t been able to before. Take his time and worship and make up for everything he hadn’t been able to give her before.

The sound of something being knocked over startled them and they turned to find their tea mugs rolling on the floorboards, loudly. They froze and listened, waiting to hear some loud admonition from the main house, even though the storm of the century had resumed its battering outside.

“Good thing we drank everything,” Ellie said, finally, and leaned in for another kiss.

He couldn’t take his eyes off the floor.

“Ryu?” She caressed his face. When that didn’t work, she hugged him close. “Where are you going?” she muttered.

“I’m sorry,” he said, finally. 

“It’s okay. It’s probably not even chipped.”

He wasn’t talking about the cups. 

He thought he wanted closure from her. Just a reason why she abandoned him that day so that he could finally move on. But he couldn’t even bring himself to stay with her when she made it obvious she wanted him.

Carefully untangling himself from her, he took her hand and kissed it. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I… I don’t think I can do this after all.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King.
> 
> Takes place after episode 30.

_ Middle-of-nowhere, nine years ago _

“Do you think it’s all an act?” 

Ellie blinked a few times, trying to shake off the exhaustion. “Sorry, sweetie, what’s that?”

“Yoh and the others. You think it’s all an act for them? You know, being nice…” Millie looked down, her sweet face twisted in doubt. 

“They helped you out a lot yesterday.” She caressed her hair. “And you were very brave to stand up to that man. I’m glad they found you when they did.”

“But you’re not okay with it.” She looked up. “I overheard you talking to Lilly about it. You think that we should stop following them and go in a different direction altogether. Did you… did you see something?”

Ellie sighed, rubbing her eyes for the umpteenth time this morning. 

There were so many things that she felt at this moment - tired, weary, hungry. They’d all worked so hard for this damn tournament and now that they were there, it was just driving around and waiting and following a group of jackalopes who, for some reason or another, seemed to have the fates smiling on them.

“No visions, no.” Because her powers sucked like that. “I guess I’m tired of being the butt of every joke with these guys, though.”

Millie was quiet for a long time. 

“I know you like Lyserg,” Ellie went on. “He’s nice enough. But he clearly wants to travel with them because they’re stronger.”

“That’s not… what you’re worried about, though. I… I also heard you ask Lilly if he had any sins clinging to him.”

And Lilly had said he had none, at least not the kind that would generate bad energy or ghosts. So why was Millie looking up at her like she’d committed some great betrayal?

Oh, right. Because it was gauche to question the people who had selflessly stepped in to save you when you were in a pinch. Never mind how weird it was that a grown man had surrounded himself with vulnerable boys. Or that he was so keen to make friends with a girl whose age was still in the single digits. 

“I was just worried, is all,” Ellie said. “I’ve got no other way to make sure they’re safe, you know.”

“Because of what happened to you. To all of you,” Millie said.

And therein lay the rub. Ellie could not divorce herself from her childhood, much as she wanted to. Every bad experience she’d had had shaped her into the woman she was today. She didn’t want to survive to adulthood only to be dragged down by her own demons. But the knowledge was engraved upon her body and seeped into her soul. She couldn’t switch it off, even when she disillusioned her little one over it.

“Ryu’s got his own stuff,” she said, trying to be fair. “And he’s clearly overprotective of his friends. But Lilly did not see any bad sins clinging to him, and he helped you when it mattered. I’m giving him that.”

Millie lay her head on her lap again. “You always protected me best,” she said. “Thank you for coming back for me.”

As if she would ever abandon her.

She was not her mother.

***

The problem with giving the last of your supplies away as a thank you gift was that the budget had to be rebalanced, and fast. 

It also meant having to shop.

“Just don’t get any more hotdogs, please,” Sharona had said, half joking, half not. 

“I’ll get a very big pack then,” Ellie had replied, earning her groans and a grudging _ ‘bitch’ _ from Sally, who had come out with her into the afternoon light. Ellie kept quiet, until they were safely out of everyone else’s earshot. “You’re not…”

“Not planning to find a fighting ring,” the redhead had said. “But it’ll be nice to get some buffer cash in. And some training.”

Ellie winced. “Surely there are nicer ways to practice.”

“Not as fast,” Sally said. “I’m mostly blowing off steam, though. I didn’t like yesterday very much.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Did you ever thank the boys for looking after Millie?”

“Sharona did that for all of us already.”

“Yeah, but—” Sally stopped, then raised both hands up. “Nevermind. I’m not gonna push you.”

“You better not. I can still kick your ass if I want to.” 

“Ergo the training.” Sally looked at a nearby bar. “This looks promising. See you back at the car, I guess.”

One of these days, she was going to get into so much trouble, Ellie thought. Unfortunately, they all had a talent for getting into trouble, so telling Sally to quit her shenanigans was pretty much the dictionary description of a double standard. 

There was one supermarket in the whole town, and, much to her relief, they accepted coupons. In fact, they accepted most the coupons she had on her, which meant that she could knock off a good chunk of the grocery bill if she was smart about it. Even if that meant beans, beans, and even more beans for the foreseeable future. 

_ No big deal, _ she told herself as she bent down to see if there were any spices hiding in the back of the shelf. _ Chilli can take variation. And it travels well. _

If she could bouillon cubes, they’d be golden. 

“Ellie…-san?” 

A thrill went up her spine. Even if she hadn’t recognized the deep voice, there were only a handful of people who would be so polite to actually call her a Ms, or anything like that.

Straightening up slowly, she turned to say hello to Ryu. “Shopping?” she asked, then kicked herself quietly. What else would he be doing here? And what difference did it make to her, damn it? It didn’t escape her notice that he was pushing a cart, making her wonder just how much he thought he could carry to his friends.

“The place we found for the night has a kitchen,” he explained, following her eyes. “I thought I might cook for a change.”

“Good for you,” she said, irritated at how easily he’d read her. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Except they ran into each other in the household aisle. And the vegetable aisle. And the washing up products aisle. Ellie bit the inside of her cheek, trying to seem nonchalant as she put an economy pack of tampons in her basket. It was a good deal, damn it, and you did not go on a long road trip without making provisions for the four menstrual cycles that was bound to sync up. 

Naturally, he seemed to decide it was easier if the two just fell into step and made small talk. Overbearing asshole.

“How’s Millie holding up?” Ryu asked, while they waited for a family of five to finish barreling past them. The children were in the middle of a total meltdown, and the mother looked like she was seconds away from one herself. 

“Pretty good, all things considered. She didn’t even bruise from being suspended for so long.” Ellie paused. “Thanks for um… feeding her. I hope the stuff we gave you makes up for it.”

“She’s a tough little nugget. I’m just glad this all got sorted out without further injuries.”

Ellie frowned, watching him from the corner of her eye. 

He seemed… subdued, somewhat. Maybe it was because he was wearing black, instead of that ghastly 50’s suit of his. Maybe it was because he’d combed his hair forward. 

Or maybe she was being an idiot and she ought to run away and hide.

She set her basket down and started flipping through the coupon book in her pocket, trying to remember which brand of tinned beans she could get the most bang for her buck. She could feel him scrutinizing her. Flustered, she cocked her head to the side. “What?” He just stared at her. Or rather, at her hands.

He had good reason to. Her spirit medium was her nails, after all. She’d done considerable damage for someone with a pretty modest manicure, all things considered. But surely he didn’t think she’d attack him in the middle of a GoodBuy, right? 

Damn it. Maybe he did.

“Here,” she tore off a bunch and held them out. “You can have these if you want. I won’t be buying any fish, Sally’s allergic to it.”

Ryu didn’t move. “Allergic?”

“She can’t stomach like, half of all the foods. Fish, shellfish, milk, strawberries… I mean, who has an allergy to strawberries?” _ Stop talking. For fuck’s sake, can you at least try to be cool? _ “I love strawberries myself, but it seems rude to buy it when you’re stuck in a van for most of the day together with the person who can’t eat them.”

He stared on.

“No?” She shrugged and stuffed the offerings back into her purse. “Suit yourself then.”

“Millie…” he paused, as she found what she was looking for and started to load up her basket. “Just how old is she?”

“What business is that of yours?”

Ryu shrugged. “You just don’t see that many young kids in the tournament.”

“She’s not that young.” Ellie sniffed. “She’ll be ten next summer.”

He crossed his arms, appearing deep in thought. “Small for her age, isn’t she?”

“So?” 

“Meat might help with that.” Ryu glanced at what she was buying meaningfully. Ellie felt the hairs on the back of her necks stand up and the heat rising to her face. Dear fucking God, was he actually about to launch into another coat argument with her? Now? 

_ Why don’t you girls have warm clothes?_

_Why is Millie hungry all the time?_

_Why did you abandon her twice already? _

When Sally got mad, she lashed out physically. When Lilly got mad, shit started flying around and she went all Exorcist on the poor fucker who wronged her. Sharona went cold, and Millie shot Onibi at inanimate objects. 

Ellie cried. But she’d be damned if she wept in front of this sanctimonious motherfucker. 

Picking up her words carefully, she asked, “Know much about growing children, do you?”

“You eat better, you get stronger. It’s not exactly rocket science.”

Prick. 

She started walking again, making a show of bypassing the butcher’s counter. Yoh and his friends were lucky enough to stay in places with cooking facilities and indoor showers. _ Good for them. _ They could prepare and carry meals without fear of them spoiling on the road. _ Good for them. _ They could afford to buy chicken, beef, and vension, all at the same time. _ Fucking good for them. _

She tossed a packet of dry potato mix in her basket, trying to look indifferent as he selected enough food to for an army. The more she thought about it, the more irritated she got. Why had Horo Horo yelled at Millie for eating his supplies again? The amount of money they could drop on a single trip to the store would have taken her three days worth of waitressing to get, tips and all. If he wanted delicacies, he could have had them anytime. 

Rocket science. Hah. If she had one iota less self-control, she’d show him rocket science. NASA itself would quiver. 

“You’re mad,” he remarked, not looking up from the produce he was examining. 

“You’re observant.” She weighed up the groceries in her hands, deciding that could probably carry a little more to the car. Get a workout in while she was at it. That’d help, right? Sweat and anger went so well together.

“I wasn’t implying you were doing a bad job,” he said. “I’m sure Millie appreciates what you do for her. I just thought—”

“You just thought to lecture me on food science anyway. I’m too dumb take care of my family, so you swoop in to explain nutrition with small words. Tell me something—” she turned on him, sneering openly “—did you leave your job to participate in this tournament, or were you already fired?”

“Now wait just a minute…”

“Oh, nevermind. It doesn’t matter to you, does it? Because you have friends with 32 private jets and unlimited credit. What’s a job anyway?”

Anger - genuine anger and hurt - flashed across his features. “You don’t know my life.”

“And you don’t know mine.” In any other circumstance, she wouldn’t have risked taking it further. But she was so past the point of caring it wasn’t even funny. “You don’t worry about having to choose between gas money and food; you’re not afraid of people judging your parenting based off of a thirty minute observation; you don’t give a damn where the road takes you so long as you are constantly moving. You’re just a dumb loser with stupid hair, riding your friends’ coattails.”

Ryu’s eyes widened, as though he was just realizing how upset she was. 

_ All the better. _ Ellie jerked the basket into her hands and, giving him one last contemptuous look, stomped off into the furthest part of the store from him she could find.

***

She made it all the way to the frozen foods aisle when her insides twisted, so much so she had to lean against a concrete pillar while the cramp passed. Maybe it was residual fury, or maybe it was the fact she hadn’t eaten anything but a cereal bar all day, but she felt like shit.

_ Or, you know, guilt. It does always make you sick. _

The refrigerators around her were full of color - ice lollies and bright vegetables, microwave meals and out-of-season fruits. The bright lights were doing something to her vision, throwing vibrant spots of teal, viridian, coral, and magenta on her skin. It was like being caught in a very cold, very lonely rave.

A vision? Or just her brain playing tricks on her?

Taking a shaky breath, she set the basket down and turned her face away from the aisle, trying to compose herself. It was late, most people weren’t doing their shopping anyway. She could feel bad without some Good Samaritan getting all up in her business. 

_ Eleanor Ward, you have really outdone yourself this time. _

Reason returned the more time passed, and with it, her shame and embarrassment deepened. What was she _ doing _ ? He was just being polite. He was always polite, even when she’d been swearing and snarling at him. The only time he had raised his sword on her was in a tournament, and that was after she attacked first.

And that was just her. How many times had he and his friends protected Millie? Twice at least, and for no other reason than the fact that it was the right thing to do. Good grief, she was a disgrace. 

Ellie tried to blink the spots dancing in front of her eyes. She had to hurry back. Tell Sharona in no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t follow these guys, screw any advantage they might have. It was clear they only made fools of themselves around them, they didn’t have to provide them with entertainment while they were at it. 

Maybe she could bring some ice cream back. It was a treat but they deserved it, right? Maybe vanilla, or cinnamon swirl, or… lavender?

She looked up and met Ryu’s eyes in the freezer glass. 

How long had he been standing there? He didn’t have his cart, so he wasn’t searching for dessert here. Hands in his pockets, he was leaning on a pillar opposite side of the aisle, his full attention on her. 

Ellie trembled a little, straightening her spine. “I’m sorry,” she said, finally. “You didn’t deserve that. Your hair isn’t stupid.”

“Water off a duck’s back,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. 

Why was he here then, if not for an apology? 

“If anything,” he went on, “you seem a lot worse off.”

“Oh please.” There were ice lollies on the very bottom of the top shelf. She dragged a kickstep closer to her. “I’m a majestic fucking unicorn. Nothing phases me.”

Her foot slipped, sending the kickstep bouncing off and away, making her stumble gracelessly into the column again. 

“A newborn unicorn,” she added, blushing as she heard him stifle his laughter. “But majestic nonetheless.”

“Indeed.” There was the sound of footsteps - heavier than usual, as if he was trying not to startle her. He touched her shoulder. “What were you trying to get?” 

Her throat contracted, train of thought grinding to a halt. She knew there was something she could do, or point at least. Instead she was just staring up at him, mouth dry. 

He was so… close.

Ryu looked down, his guarded look changing as he took her in. Ellie winced inwardly, wondering what kind of hot mess she was looking like, eyes bloodshot, hair stuck in her lip gloss. His hand squeezed her shoulder, then slid up to tuck the offending locks behind her ear. 

She didn’t know which one of them went for the kiss first. Maybe both. Either way, she ended up hauled against his body, feet dangling off the floor while she clung to his shoulders with all her strength.

Maybe too much strength. He let out a quiet gasp of pain as they broke for air, and she saw the scratches in his skin. 

“S… sorry,” she started, finally getting her mouth to work. 

“I’m not.” He set her back on the ground, only to push her against the column and capture her lips again. His hands were braced on either side of her and their legs intertwined, as though he was afraid she might bolt. 

It was just a few moments.

It was an eternity.

Finally, he broke away and rested his forehead against hers. Strands of his hair were falling in his eyes as he stared down at her.

“I really _ am _ sorry,” she said.

Ryu didn’t laugh out loud, but she could feel it in his body anyway. “Yeah, beauty,” he said. “I figured.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had new pens. 
> 
> And a burning query about the economic logistics of a tournament that expects its participants to drop all work for months at a time to hang at the desert and wait for their names to get called out for a fight.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King.
> 
> Content warning for this chapter: mentions of past abuse and childhood abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

_ Present day, Domino Outer Isles _

Using her old nickname had been a mistake. 

Hell, picking up her hair tie this morning had been a mistake. He should have listened to Tokageroh and gone on his way. Found a nice inn and watched daytime television, quietly smug in his knowledge that he’d beat the rush hour. 

But no. 

He’d seen her running, so he’d given chase. Like a trained puppy, he’d ran after her, first in body and then in spirit. It was as though some evil fairy had offered him a choice - get his closure, or waste his time trying to know her. And then Ryu had traded every minute in his day, diverted the conversation again and again, just to learn one more thing. To hear one more story. 

To feel once more the very thing that hurt him in the first place. 

Ellie hung his jacket up and then went to wash their mugs in the bathroom sink. If she felt anything about his refusal - disappointment, anger, offense - she hid it well. In fact, she hid it better than anybody he knew, and that was something. The years hadn’t just made her even more beautiful - she’d become even better at hiding her storms than she had been in the past.

Watching her cross the room and rifle through her backpack, he couldn’t help feeling a twinge of apprehension at the blankness in her eyes. He might as well have been sharing accommodation with a robot.

“Ellie…” he started, then froze when she turned her attention on him. “I… I know you’re upset. It’s okay if you are upset.”

“You are allowed to say no to me, Ryu,” she replied, looking down.

“I didn’t want… There’s no way to say anything without it coming out wrong, is there?”

“You don’t owe me an explanation. I should have just asked you if you wanted to shelter with me instead of putting you on the spot.” Her mouth twisted. “I should have asked you, period.”

On a level, he knew it would be easier to just let her think this was because he didn’t want her anymore. They’d spend one awkward night back to back, pretending to sleep, and then return to their respective lives. He’d lick his wounds and she would be secure in her knowledge that _ he _ was the shallow one, for thinking that a few extra pounds and some wrinkles made her any less gorgeous than when she’d been in her early twenties. 

It would be so much easier. But love and pride made him speak:

“It’s not that you didn’t ask,” he said. “It’s that you left in the first place.”

Ellie’s lips parted as she set her backpack down with a clack. “Left,” she said, voice hollow.

“The day after we won,” he said. “After Yoh-dono defeated Hao. I asked you to meet me then. You never showed up.”

“I never said I’d be able to make it.” Her expression became defiant, and more than a little embarrassed. “I told you I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get away.”

“You managed it, though,” he said. “You got away for long enough to watch from the distance and then send Kamaitachi to get Yoh-dono.”

Her hands twitched and he could see the color rising on her. “You… you knew I was there,” she said.

“I always knew where you were,” he said. “From the very beginning, I knew.” 

Mind, Ryu had never figured out how or why that was the case. He certainly could never locate another person just from standing in a crowd and then following his gut. He’d assumed at first that Ellie was dangerous and so his instincts of self-preservation were kicking in. Then they’d started meeting in secret, and he’d decided it was knowing her so intimately that made her easier to find. Then she’d left without goodbye and he’d decided his first impression had always been the truthful one. 

Ellie didn’t see it that way. “So you were testing me,” she said, barely concealed anger in her voice.

It was actually heartening to hear she cared about that sorry morning. Even a little. “I asked you to come,” he said. “I was there.” 

“And you assumed I’d come out all the way to the forest to gloat at you from afar, before I ran off.” She let out a short, bitter laugh. “Of course, there would not be any other explanation. I’m just mean like that, aren’t I?”

“It’s hard to tell with you,” Ryu said. “Sometimes I thought you wanted more than what we were having together. But you always pulled away.”

“Because of course, there couldn’t be other stuff happening in my life.”

“I’m not saying that was not the case. Just that I had no way of telling what was going on.” The room suddenly felt too small. “Was I supposed to keep chasing after you forever?”

“I never asked you to chase after me,” she said. “I never asked you for anything.”

“I kinda wish you did. At least then I’d get a clue about what you were really about.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “Did you realize that today was the longest time we’d spent just talking to one another? Not playing games or bantering to fill the time, but actually conversing?”

She had. Even if they hadn’t had these weird moments during the day where their interactions ground to a halt, her expression at that moment told volumes.

“Yeah,” Ryu said. “It was weird for me too. But you know, I’d do it again if I had the chance. All I ever wanted was to spend some time with the real you.”

“The real me.” Ellie practically spat the words out. Grabbing by her discarded backpack, she emptied it on the table and then started to repack it, folding her things like she was trying to solve some Marie Kondo-esque jigsaw puzzle. 

“Yes, the real you.” Ryu stood up and walked over to where she stood. “The one who sacrifices everything for her friends. The one who throws herself in harm’s way to prevent more people being hurt.” He touched her wrist, making her shiver and still. “The one who trembles in my arms when I make love to her. That’s the person I want to know.”

Ellie huffed and pulled away from him. “You know, I’ve never been a fan of the radical honesty approach.” She yanked a sweater from her pile and pulled it over her head. “It always seems to me like an excuse people use to be assholes to each other.”

“What’s wrong with wanting the truth, damn it?” he snapped.

He’d been right there with her from the start. He’d given her his most honest self. And she’d just spurned it. How was he _ supposed _ to take any of this?

“People only want the truth when it’s convenient to them,” Ellie said. She was putting on trousers now, yanking the fabric carelessly up her legs and twisting the seams. “They ask for it, _ beg for it _, but the second they hear something they don’t like, they turn around and shoot the messenger. And when that’s not enough, they go and shoot the messenger’s family and friends. Nobody is ever safe when the truth doesn’t match up to expectation.”

Ryu’s heart rate picked up. 

She was standing there, zipping herself up, literally getting ready for a fight. Yet her little screed was more honest than anything she’d shared with him today, and that was saying something.

“Is that what happened to you?” he asked. “You were the messenger.”

“I was messenger, scapegoat, the whore of Babylon… I’ve been pretty much everything at some point or another.” She threw her hair over her shoulder. “Doesn’t mean I want to share every sordid detail of my past with you.”

“Because it hurts? Or because you wanted to shield Millie?” 

She flinched visibly. “I’m not discussing Millie.”

“I don’t want to discuss Millie either, but it’s not like I can separate her from the conversation either, can I?”

Ellie growled, fury twisting her features. “What do you want?” she said through gritted teeth. “A blow-by-blow account of everything that’s happened? You need me to paint you a fucking picture?”

No, actually, he did not. 

He’d known, almost from the start, that something was off, even before he’d started to pay attention. A minor traveling cross-country and even cross-border with four older women was bound to raise questions, unless one of those women was also the sole legal guardian. Children were not allowed as part of the tournament unless they were also part of a team with their parents. The older women all mothered Millie in some way, but there was one who always seemed to deprive herself more than the others. There was the family resemblance and the scars, and how it was rare to see one girl without the other. 

And then there was the math. Ryu had learned Millie’s age. He could guess Ellie’s. It didn’t take a lot of higher brain function to figure out that, whatever the specifics, that the story there was not a happy one. 

“I don’t need you to paint me anything,” he said, as Ellie clenched and unclenched her fists. “I wanted you to trust me.”

She let out a funny sound, half-laughter, half-sob. 

“I get why you didn’t at first,” he went on. “Who would? I was just a big loser to you.” 

Ellie’s eyes widened, the fury there dying rapidly.

“You’re right. I didn’t know anything. And I had no right to push you about it either.” Ryu looked away. “But then we kept being on the same side. You girls were fighting for you, but when the chips were down, you also fought for what was right. And don’t give me that bull about not having any options - you built a life after the tournament with your own hands, a life that even the Red Crimson couldn’t take away from you.”

The storm kept raging outside. The wind battered at the walls, rain pelted the roof mercilessly, and it was still a kinder weather than what was happening between them in that moment.

“Building a life is not so simple,” Ellie said. 

“It’s a lot simpler when you have allies by your side. That’s what I thought we were at the end.” He smiled sardonically. “More fool me, I guess.”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know.”

“Don’t look so down. Life went on - I’ve had a pretty good decade, and I suspect I have even better ones ahead of me,” he said, ignoring the stab in his chest. “I don’t think I’d have minded if all you wanted was sex, if that was what you said from the beginning.”

_ Liar. You wouldn’t have touched her with a ten foot pole if you thought that was what she wanted. _

“It just sticks with you,” he said. “That all you ever saw was a loser. This is who I will forever be to you. I guess I should congratulate you - you’re a far better actress than you give yourself credit for.”

“That’s not true.”

“See? That was almost believable.”

“That’s not true,” she repeated, more vehemently. “I never… hell, Ryu, do you think I’d just sleep with anybody?”

“Dunno. People were getting a little desperate on the road.”

Ellie inhaled sharply, and he knew he’d hit a sore spot. He kept going, because damn it, he wanted her to feel something. Anything. “Maybe I wasn’t even your first choice. I’m sure the other guys were a better option but I was a lot less effort, wasn’t I?”

Her arm whipped out. He saw it coming and didn’t move. Having been on the receiving end of Ana’s Legendary Left, there were few things that phased him. 

But she didn’t slap him. Her hand stopped maybe an inch from his face. Ellie drew it back and stuffed it in her pocket. “If that’s truly the case, why did you chase after me at all? Why bother talking to me? You could have just let it go.”

“Maybe I needed to see if you were that shallow after all.”

“I see.” She gave a dark laugh. “And you call me the actress.” 

Suddenly, he couldn’t take being in the same space as her anymore. Every time he felt like maybe they were about to clear the air, she retreated, stuffing whatever emotion she’d shown back into the bottle. It was all buildup with no payoff. He couldn’t stand it.

“Where are you going?” she asked, as he stepped past her and grabbed his jacket off the hook. “Ryu. It’s still pouring outside.”

“Relax. I’m not planning to throw myself into the ocean,” he said. “I need air.”

“Of course, because we can’t just open a window.”

Ryu threw her a look over his shoulder. “Shouldn’t make a difference to you anyway. Losers like me know their place - it’s the beauty queens that forget.”

The color drained from her face as she stared in disbelief. The last thing he heard was her swear softly before he opened the door and stepped out into the wind.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King.
> 
> Takes place after episode 29.

_ Middle-of-nowhere, nine years ago _

So this was how she was doing to die. Separated from the one she loved the most, lost in a snow storm, in the pursuit of a hare-brained plan. 

Typical. 

The voices of the jury rushed through her head in a split second as Hao threw them off the cliff, only to be replaced by searing pain and burning cold, as the Spirit of Fire melted the glacier. Her last coherent thought was not to scream.

Then the water was all around her, carrying her hard and fast and bumping her against every sharp surface along the riverbed. Every hit was another shock, the impact making her bones crack. Death nipping at her throat.

But not taking her. Every time she was sure she was gone, her head broke the surface, allowing her to gulp some precious air before going under again. Every time she was sure she would die of being bashed against the rocks, her _ furioku _ rushed to heal her, keeping her panic back just enough for her not to drown. 

And then. 

A great force meeting the river head on, stopping it its tracks. The very universe quaking as the water froze again all around her, followed by a thunderous crack as the ice shattered. She was falling again, but instead of the merciless ground, there was a net there to catch her. Her, and everyone else who had been swept up in the flood. 

Millie’s face was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. She wasn’t too proud to weep openly then. Pulling her close, all she could do was kiss her hair and rock them both back and forth.

_ Never again, _ she thought, echoing her daughter’s words with every beat of her heart. _ Never again. _

***

“That was a close call today,” Ryu said.

The sun was setting by the time they had climbed down from the mountain. Other competitors had continued to follow the river, convinced that Hao was on the right track. The girls and Yoh’s gang had taken one look at each other and then started to retrace their steps, returning where they had come from. 

There was always a roundabout way to get past the summit. Whatever advantage they’d get by crossing the passage wasn’t worth another near death experience. 

Ellie had busied herself with starting a fire while the others set up camp - a near-miracle given how wet the wood was. Still, she kept on going. She had to, because if she stopped… 

“I said…” 

“I heard you.” The match died in her fingers before she could touch it to the kindling. Damn it. “Thank you,” she added. “For saving us. Millie told me you were the one who held the river back.” 

Ryu shrugged, as if exhibiting near-godlike powers was just another Thursday for him. 

There was a lengthy silence as she undid the cord around her neck that held her flint and her scraping tool. She focused on shaving off just enough and then said a quick prayer as she struck the opposite side. A spark flew. Then another. Then the kindling started to smoke and a tiny flame appeared. Ellie breathed a sigh of relief.

“Nice one. Were you a girl scout or something?” he asked, kneeling down next to her.

Or something. She put the driest-looking twigs into the kindling, waiting for the fire to build. Soon enough, it would be stable enough to cook on. 

“Millie was really scared for you,” he said, finally. “I was, too, quite frankly. Didn’t think you two would ever separate.”

She grit her teeth. “We had our reasons.”

Reasons that Ryu, persistent fucker that he was, wanted to know. “Did you fight? I bet it was a fight.” He waited for all of three seconds for her to answer, then went right on with guessing. “If it was about Lyserg…”

“Contrary to what you think, the world doesn’t revolve around Lyserg,” Ellie said. Anger and frustration made her eyes sting. “Just let it go, okay? I’m not telling you.”

He didn’t like that answer.

She kept building the fire. 

“You seem to know what you’re doing,” Ryu said. 

“Foster dad was a troupe leader,” Ellie said, before blowing on the flame. She put on her court face as she spoke, trying to be cool and composed. “It’s the second most useful thing he ever taught me.”

“What was the first then? Not taking a coat on a trip to the mountains?”

She narrowed her eyes. Horo Horo had said something similar. Apparently the whole ‘having to save money’ comment had completely gone over their heads. _ Good. _ She was with Sharona on this one - the less they told people, the better. 

“Or was it to abandon little kids in a snow storm?” 

“She was with _ Lilly. _ You know, our navigator? The girl who can find anybody if she wants to?” Her hands were shaking. Ellie balled them into fists and stared at the fire. “Even if we traveled separately for a while, we would have regrouped by the end of the day. So long as we have our powers, we are never truly lost.”

“Right,” Ryu said, clearly unconvinced. “Did you come up with that excuse while you were walking with Hao, or after he threw you in the river?”

Ellie arranged some dirt and rocks around the fire to keep it contained. “Did it ever occur to you that the storm was a little too freakish?” she asked. “There was sun one minute, then suddenly, it was raining like the bloody end of the world was happening. We didn’t even have a chance to take shelter before we were frozen in place.” Standing up, she dusted her hands and put the flint back around her neck. “You can think what you want. Going with the people not affected by the storm seemed like the best thing to do at the time.” 

He stared at her from across the flames. Her heart started to beat a little louder as she read the emotions in his eyes. Disbelief. Confusion. A little bit of anger, but also, somewhat, understanding. As though he recognized the part in her that had acted so horribly.

But recognition didn’t mean affection or even acceptance. She’d fucked up. In his eyes, she would always be the person who had abandoned a little girl in the wild.

_ You’re not in court anymore _ a little voice whispered in her ear. _ You can walk away. _

So she did. Nodding once, as if she’d just won the argument, she turned on her heel and went to help Sally build their tent.

Quite frankly, she’d had enough recrimination for one day.

***

Later that night, with Millie sleeping soundly against her chest, she finally broached the elephant in the room. “That plan was an epic fail. Even by our standards.”

The tent was dark and stuffy, with time itself crawling to a stop. Then there was the rustle of a sleeping bag, and then Sharona spoke. “I know.”

“We’re not getting separated again,” Ellie said. “Not once. Not ever.”

“So we’re gonna pee in pairs now?” Sally chuckled. “That’ll be fun.”

“Bitch. You know what I mean.”

“She does, and you’re right,” Sharona said. “Splitting up was a bad call. At least we have more tactical advantage now than we did previously.”

“Some advantage.” Ellie shifted. “Our opponents are numerous and they are all God-level strong. Shocker.”

Even worse, Hao’s followers were all clearly sold on his ‘survival of the fittest’ and ‘kill all humans’ cause. It wasn’t hard to read them - Ellie had met plenty of people just like that in the system. Sad little boys and girls with too much power, gravitating toward the bully who promised them a chance to get back to the world. It was bad enough when they fought against regular assholes. These were fanatics. 

“At least we know who they are, and what makes them tick,” Sharona said. “While others were out there, feeling sorry for themselves, we were gaining important knowledge.”

“Now you’re just making up excuses. What are we gonna do if we face off against these guys in an official fight?” 

“We survive,” Lilly said, quietly. “As we always have.”

That much was true. Ellie, Sally and Sharona had been drowned and beaten today, and all they had to show for it was a few bumps and bruises. Their _ furioku _ kept them alive where regular humans would have long died. They were not fighters in the same sense that Yoh and his group were, but they had stamina and guts and that had to count for something, damn it.

Ellie knew that, but she couldn’t help holding Millie closer to her. “Be as it may. Getting split today was not worth it.”

“What’s gotten into you, anyway?” Sharona asked. There was rustling and she could tell, her friend was trying to see her face in the dark. “You were all for finding stronger allies just a few days ago.”

“That’s right. I heard you talking to the tall one earlier,” Sally said. “You told him about the Old Pervert showing you how to build a fire.” 

“Ryu was asking too many questions,” Ellie said. “I needed to get him off my case.”

“You couldn’t just flash him your tits or somethin’?” 

She sniffed and stared up at the ceiling. She didn’t want to get into this. It was bad enough that her visions were so unreliable and poorly timed. Telling her friends about the clearest one she’d had in decades was just too humiliating. “He said I _ abandoned _ her.”

A heavy silence settled on the tent. Then, slowly, Lilly reached out and lay her hand down on top of Ellie’s thigh. “Fuck him,” she said. 

“Yeah,” Sharona added. “For once, I’ve got nothing better to add.”

“Seriously.” Sally huffed. “I hope he breaks an arm, falling off that high horse of his.”

“In fairness, it probably did seem that way to him.” Because that was what she had done. She’d abandoned her. Even when she’d promised herself she wouldn’t, even as she made up all of the excuses… “He could not have known we had a plan if one of us got lost.”

“Fuck that.” Lilly sat up, eyes flashing. “You didn’t have to sit in a cave listening to him pontificate on the nature of nature for forty-five minutes. Acting all Zen and shit, while judging you based off a day? He’s the worst kind of hypocrite.”

The four sighed. Eventually, Sharona spoke up.

“We all misjudged the situation,” she said. “And our own abilities. This was bound to happen at some point or another - what is important now is to learn from this and move forward.” She shifted again, trying to get comfortable. “Let’s just try to get some rest. We have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow.”

And there is was. The alpha and omega of everything: always keep on moving. Always keep on learning. Don’t stop for anybody - if they want you so bad, they better well keep up. 

Dwelling was bad. Dwelling got you killed.

Yet, as her friends drifted off to sleep, Ellie couldn’t stop the day from playing on a loop in her brain. Could she have done anything different? Made another choice, said something in a better way? Maybe if she dragged Millie along… or maybe if she stayed behind and let Lilly go ahead in her place…

But no. Lilly would have never been able to keep her cool around Hao. She’d have insulted him or attacked him within fifteen minutes of his company.

Maybe they could have all stayed behind. She wasn’t sure any of the knowledge they’d gained today would have been useful after all…

“You liked him, don’t you?”

Ellie blinked. For a weird moment, she thought Kamaitachi had been the one to speak. Then she met Millie’s eyes in the dark.

“Thought you were asleep, munchkin,” she said. 

“I kept popping in and out of it,” came the explanation. Then, “You liked him. Ryu, I mean. That’s why you were upset at what he said.”

“I was upset because he said an upsetting thing.” And a correct one, though she didn’t want to get into that any further than she already had. “I’m grateful that he and his friends stepped in and saved everyone today. That doesn’t mean he can talk to me anyway he likes.”

Millie propped her chin up on Ellie’s stomach. She always did that when she was thinking. “Your last boyfriend… Freddy, or whatever his name was…”

“Fred. He hated Freddy. What about him?”

“He kept complaining that you never had time for him. You just laughed it off.” 

Ellie smiled. She remembered that. The shitty little apartment that she’d moved into, to demonstrate that she was ready to hold down a household of her own. The endless hours she put in the diner and on the football pitch, just to pay the bills. Fred’s bellyaching had been the last thing on her list of priorities at the time.

It had still hurt when he’d left her. But at the back of her mind, she knew it was inevitable. As big and strong as he was, her ex had been an immature prick. She, on the other hand, hadn’t been a child since before she was Millie’s age. 

“I don’t think he ever appreciated how funny he was,” Ellie said. “As do most unintentional comedians.”

“He never kept you up at night, though.”

That was true. And she knew why.

“When did you get wise?” she asked.

“I fell in love, too, you know.” She could tell Millie was pouting, and smiled. “I’ve got a clue now.”

“Don’t plan out a wedding just yet. You don’t know how he feels.”

“Ryu asked you to be his queen the first night we met.”

“And then I nearly cut his head off.”

“You’re a woman with character. What’s not to like?”

She chuckled and finally felt the sleep tugging at her. “Suppose it’s moot anyway,” she muttered, drifting off. “I only saw myself in love. I never knew whether he felt the same way.”

“Huh?”

“Ignore me, munchkin. Let’s just do as Sharona asked and sleep.” She doubted she’d ever have Ryu of the Wooden Sword telling her she’d broken his heart. Not in any serious way.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King. 
> 
> I don't even own a very good curse word vocabulary. Oh well...

_ Present day, Domino Outer Isles _

_ ** Well. Here we are. ** _

_ **Yep.** _

_ **Feeling any better? ** _

Ryu squinted up at the heavens. _** Not in the least. **_

Tokageroh nodded sagely. _** Figures. **_

There was a strong gust of wind, making the shrubs shake dangerously overhead. 

Had it been this bad earlier? He could have sworn it was almost pleasant when he’d gotten outside for the first time - he’d even seen the evening light break through the clouds for just a moment. He’d been confident enough to walk all the way down to the beach, even as the rain soaked through his hair. It was low tide. The beach was deserted. He could wander all he wanted, stopping to admire the view every now and again.

There was a strange sort of beauty to the sea, he thought. Savage and unpredictable as it was, it never failed to calm him. 

_ ** Hm. I wonder why that is. ** _

Ryu glanced at Tokageroh. _** Will you be satisfied if I just let you speak your mind? **_

_ **Dunno. Would you listen? ** _

Silence.

_ ** I mean, I’m a ghost - I’m fine either way. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out we’re sitting in a cave and that tide is going to start coming in eventually.** _

_ **It’s only seven. We can wait a few more minutes. ** _

His guardian did not seem overly convinced. 

When the wind had started picking up, Ryu had considered turning around… only to realize he was too far away from any ladder to the walkway, and the rocks on the end of the beach were too mossy for him to climb without trouble. The cave had been a good compromise. 

At least until the thunder started to come down again. 

The waves beat the shore, each more ferocious than the next. 

Savage and unpredictable, indeed. 

_ ** You know what’s funny?** _

_ **I’m sure you’ll tell me.** _

_ **Oh, drop the attitude, boy. It’s not like you didn’t have a choice here. ** _

Hadn’t he? Ryu frowned. _** You wanted to stay in there? After telling me a million times how she’s no good for me? **_

_**She’s no good for your heart, but she was damn good for your body. **_ Tokageroh leered. _** You had a roof over your head, you had a willing woman in your lap, and what did you do? You pick a fight and then stomp off to sulk in the rain. **_

_ **Charming. Why did I pick you to be my guardian again?** _

_ **I’m dead, not blind. I do remember it’s better to have an actual woman in your arms than go to the next best thing and think about it a lot. ** _

Ryu pulled his knees closer to his chest. _** Ellie hates the rain and the cold. She’s nothing like the ocean.**_

_ **Yeah? What’s she like then? ** _

Gods above and below, he had no idea. That was the whole problem, wasn’t it? No matter what, she hid herself from him. Even when they were at their most intimate, she kept on hiding.

_** You say that, but you seemed to know just which buttons to push with her back there, **_ Tokageroh said. 

He had, hadn’t he? And it had been so easy to do it. Ryu couldn’t decide what had been the worst part - suggesting that she was careless and cruel, or seeing her face when she realized just how much he believed that. 

Well… what did she expect? 

Not a fan of radical honesty… who the hell said such a thing? 

Sure, she’d had a messed up past. Didn’t most people? Or was she the only one who was special? What did he have to do, to prove to her that he was trustworthy? Slay a dragon? Cut his own heart open and give it to her? 

_** Yeah, what was it that you said to her about life moving on? **_ Tokageroh asked. Ryu’s eye twitched.

_ ** That’s enough from you. ** _

_**Oh, suit yourself. **_ The ghost poked his head out. _** I’m gonna see if I can find a warm place to sit. **_

_ **Coward.** _

_ **Your ladylove’s not the only one who hates the rain. I’ll see you when you’ve come back to your senses. ** _

Ryu buried his head in his hands and groaned.

***

He didn’t lie. Life had gone on…

…in the sense that life always went on. Births and deaths, triumphs and failures, joy and sadness… life was always full of them, and time waited for no-one. Ryu had found a place for himself, a purpose in his life. He’d had milestones and adventures and lovers. 

He hadn’t spent the last nine years pining for one woman, that was for sure. 

And yet, looking back, he couldn’t think of a time when he had been purely and utterly selfish. His adventures were all to do with his friends, with Yoh, or with Hana. His milestones? All tied with his friends, too. Even his lovers, few and far in between as they were, he had pursued more from habit than a genuine interest. He didn’t want Tamao and the others to worry about him, so he flirted openly and outrageously, and every now and again, he found someone who flirted back.

Nothing had been his own.

He’d dedicated his life to serving others, and while he’d been content for years, one trip outside of that little bubble had filled him with longing.

What would have happened, he wondered, if he’d ran into Ellie on a fish market in Japan, on some oppressively hot summer day? What if she was doing something utterly boring and unglamorous, and hadn’t spent the last nine years having all sorts of weird adventures with her friends? What she had no stories to tell, no interesting tidbits to entice him with? Would he have been drawn to her again, or would he have gone on with his day, thinking fondly about their younger selves and how much more optimistic they’d been? 

Maybe.

But maybe not. 

After all, Ellie had never made an effort to show herself in a flattering light to him. The first time they’d met, she had nearly taken his head off. The second, her friend had brought a house down on his head. The Lilly 5 made no secret of the fact that they were using him and his friends during the Tournament, and what had he done?

He’d laughed and shrugged it off. Like he might do with a bunch of feral cats. 

The only problem was that, while feral cats never truly belonged to anybody, you still felt sad if they disappeared one day. 

Ryu sighed and rubbed his eyes. This vacation was slowly taking a turn for the worst and he had no one to blame but himself. Even with a full week left, he was tempted to get on the first plane back to Japan and tell everyone he’d had his fill of travels. Surely it wouldn’t take long to return to his life of quiet contentment.

Surely.

Another gust of wind invaded the cave, making him shiver. He popped the collar of his jacket, noting again how well she’d sewn the sleeve, and caught a whiff of vanilla and sandalwood on the leather. Ellie had only worn it for half an hour, tops, and already it smelled like her. 

Quiet contentment… or silent despair. By this point, he really didn’t know.

***

_ Was _ he being unfair after all? 

Ryu had moved closer to the mouth of the cave, just out of reach of the sea spray. He was going to pay for the impertinence soon enough, but the fresh air helped him focus significantly. 

_ Let’s see… You accused her of not being truthful. She said people only want the truth when it suits them. I wonder what that could mean? _

He shook his head. Now he was just imagining what Tokageroh might say, as if he didn’t have many excellent friends who could support him in this. Yoh, for example…

_ Eh, I don’t know much about that, Ryu, I mean, Ana pretty much told me we were getting married and that was that. _

Okay, bad example. Horo Horo…

_ Women are a fucking waste of time, man. Just look at Pirika - she’s spending so much time with her guy, I barely see her. I don’t know how he gets any work done! _

Maybe Ren… no, he didn’t want to think of what Ren would say. Especially with what he had learned today about him and Sally. 

Ryu cast his thoughts out further. Tamao saw him as a brother, and Ana… no, the less he thought about Ana the better. 

Ultimately, the only person he could think of who would have any decent advice was Faust the VIII. In fact, his old brother-in-arms had a very simple philosophy on such matters. 

_ Death is no match for my love. I shall hold and cherish you for every minute of this life, and the one after that, and the next. To us, death is but a door we walk through. _

That was all well and good, Ryu thought to himself, but at least he and Eliza had been on the same page with their devotion to one another. Ellie, frustratingly, could not seem to make up her mind about him at all. 

He blinked away a sudden stinging in his eyes. Surely, _ surely _ he wasn’t getting emotional over not being picked. He was an old fool, damn it, but he wasn’t that insecure.

_ Right. It’s because I’m so secure in myself that I went into a cave rather than spend another moment with Ellie. _

If he had to be honest with himself, he didn’t always come off well with her. He’d been cruel. He’d been judgmental. Then and now, he’d made assumptions about her life with incomplete information, and he’d come off as a preachy asshole. Sure - he could argue she never told him anything, but then, why would she? People had underestimated her all her life, and he and his friends had not been an exception. Why would she think he was different?

_ Because she got to know me. That’s why. _

He ran his fingers through his hair. He had to head back. He couldn’t well wait until the last moment before the tide swooped in. He tried poking his head out the cave door only to be blinded by the rain again.

“Ryu! Ryu!”

Frowning, he peered out, trying to figure out if the wind was playing tricks on him or not. It was so dark now, and there was water in his eyes…

“Ryu!”

And there was that voice again - high, worried, unmistakable. Even after a decade, he could tell her apart in a crowd.

He blinked, and noticed a figure running quickly across the sand, hand raised as if that would do anything to help. Her bright hair and loose shirt were whipping around like a flag. 

Disbelieving, Ryu stepped further out from the cave and raised a hand, not caring if he got soaked to the bone. If this was a hallucination, it was a damn good one…

He knew the moment she saw him, because she froze in place for a moment. Then she sprinted at him, covering her head to the best she could. He retreated quickly, giving her enough space to get out of the rain without having to stop outside. 

Ellie stumbled through the mouth of the cave, took one look at him, and then doubled up, hands on her knees. “You… you fucking idiot.” 

_ Not a hallucination, then. _ It was strangely heartening.

Less heartening was the fact that her hair was dripping, and so were her clothes. She was shaking.

Crap. What could he say?

“You’re freezing,” he managed. 

“Yeah? And whose fault is that? God!” She shoved her locks back as she straightened up. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, and she looked ready to kill. “You have officially lost the right to call me a primadonna, do you understand?” 

“What did I do?” he asked.

“What did you do? Going out in a fucking storm? Disappearing for hours on end? Not saying when you’d get back?” She poked him in the chest, going harder with each question. “I waited for you to come back for ages, you bastard! I didn’t know if I should look for you in a ditch somewhere, or lock the door and leave you out all night.”

“I told you,” he said, unable to stop himself from grinning. “I just wanted air.”

“And then you didn’t even take a key! What was I supposed to do? Wear a hole in the rug waiting?” She shoved him against the wall. “You obstinate, insufferable, _ opinionated—” _

She didn’t finish. One moment, her fingers were digging into his lapels. The second, she was kissing him, or maybe he was kissing her… he didn’t know much except it was her tongue in his mouth and her hands roaming on him, pinning him against the rock. She was a head shorter and 6 stone lighter than him, and yet she kissed him with the same ferocity as the storm that was raging outside. 

He didn’t care. He was just happy to see her. 

When they finally broke for air, she buried her face in his shoulder, as if eye contact was too much. “Fucking visions…” he heard her mutter.

“You had a vision?” he asked.

“Shaddup! I ain’t done bein’ mad at ya,” she said, head snapping up. He grinned wider. “What?”

“It’s not every day you lose your accent over something.”

Ellie snarled and shoved him against the wall again. “My visions ain’t none of your goddamn business, if you keep pullin’ stunts like that, ya hear me?” The chest poking came back, harder than before. “Contrary to what you may think, I don’t leave people wandering ‘round when it’s rainin’ cats an’ dogs. Even jackasses.”

“Lucky me.” And because it seemed to rile her up, he grinned even wider. 

“You should be so grateful.” She huffed. “Look at me! I ** ran **. In ** jeans **. Have you any idea how horrible this feels?”

“I could take them off you if you like.”

“Quiet! And don’t think you’re off the hook for what you said in there, either.” She took hold of the center of his shirt and pulled him until they were eye level. “For your information, I don’t do pity fucks, Ryu. I’m not running a public service here for people with low self esteem. Good grief, I can’t even remember the last time I slept with anybody, it’s been that fucking long. And you know why? Do you?”

“Am I allowed to speak yet?”

“I’ll tell you why,” she went on, ignoring the way his own hands gripped her hips. “Because sleeping with me is a goddamn privilege, and you better believe that if I came onto you, it’ll be because you were goddamn worth the effort.” She let go of the shirt, only to shove him up the wall again. “And if I hear you call yourself a loser one more time, I’m going to find Ana’s number and tell her that you’ve been slacking off on your training.”

“Ana handed off that job to Tamao.”

“Even better. Tamao would be three times more effective at kicking your ass.” 

And then, for good measure, she shoved her tongue into his mouth again, and dug her nails into his sides. Her hips ground against his and all he could do was cling back for dear life. He'd always wondered why she liked this position so much - now that he had his answer, all he could think of was how long they could keep this up. By the time they broke apart, he was panting and out of breath and so giddy he could hardly stand straight. 

Ellie looked just as unsteady. Still, she smoothed her hands over his chest and straightened up her spine. “Hope you got all of that,” she said, letting out a short gust of breath. “Cause I sure as hell ain’t repeatin’ it again.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King.
> 
> This chapter takes place after episode 28. It makes no sense. I don't GAF.

_ Middle-of-nowhere, nine years ago _

“This is all my fault,” Ellie said, as she drove slowly down the desert road. It was dark, and the only other car was just out of their sight, but she couldn’t go any faster. Any more would defeat the point of tailing them. 

Of course, if they had done this right, there would be no point in tailing anybody. They would drive as fast as possible and catch up with them on intervals at the road. Instead, Ellie had fucked up from the start, and they had to resort to plan B. And C. And D, and E and even F. 

“We all made mistakes this week,” Sharona said. “Let’s not play hot potato with the blame, shall we?”

“Wasn’t talking about this week,” Ellie said, eyes lowered. “If I hadn’t attacked Ryu and Yoh in Japan, none of this would have happened.”

Sharona was quiet for a long time, then said, “You never did explain to me how the fight started in the first place. Like, I know Ryu called you out but how did it get from ‘show yourself’ to you going full Freddy Kruger on him?”

She bit her lip, looking down at the dash. 

It seemed so stupid now - in fact, criminally stupid when she thought of all the chances she’d blown because of her temper. Why could she not do like her friends and gather intel before making rash decisions? Millie had more self-control than her sometimes.

“We went to the Asakura house as planned,” Ellie said. “I had this whole speech worked out, but they weren’t there and the whole place looked deserted. Then as Millie and I were scouting out the place, we saw Ryu and Manta talking to each other.” Even though it had been years since she had spoken Japanese herself, Ellie had understood enough to know that Yoh was gone, Manta was sad, and that Ryu was offering to take him on a road trip so that they could work out their differences.

Even though going to the mountains hadn’t been part of the plan at first, it was now.

She and Millie had trailed them all day, ignoring the jetlag or fatigue. This was an important mission, and the other girls were counting on them. They had to get it done.

But still. Even as most of her energies had been thrown at keeping the car within the speed limit and staying on the appropriate side of the road, Ellie couldn’t help but look at Ryu’s motorcycle and wonder what the actual hell was his deal. Why was this guy, who had the airs of a gang leader, doing such a favor to a boy at least ten years his junior? Why was he so familiar with him? She’d watched them interact at the diner, too, wishing that she could read lips or hear far and wide, if only to assuage the anxiety that was starting to mount.

“And then he saw me and Millie and started dropping compliments like—” Ellie shook her head. “I just couldn’t. I literally lost my mind.”

“He pushed your buttons,” Sharona said. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I should have known he didn’t mean any of that. It’s just…”

“You’re sensitive to older men showing excessive interest in little kids,” her leader explained, voice patient and forgiving. “Nobody would blame you for that - especially when the interest turns to your little kid.” 

Ellie looked at the rear view mirror. Millie was still sound asleep, tucked into the crook of Sally’s arm. 

Sharona leaned back in her seat and tucked her feet under herself. “Let me ask you something - when you think about meeting Ryu for the first time, what do you wish you did different? How do you think you would have changed the outcome?”

Now that was the million dollar question, wasn’t it. “I… I don’t know. Maybe make a quip or something… no. I keep thinking that if I came up to him in front of the Asakura house and asked, maybe then we would have just had a quick chat and then we would have gone on our way.”

“You have no idea,” Sharona said. “Because maybe there was never any other way you would have reacted.”

Ellie looked down at her hands. “I don’t like being this way,” she said. “I don’t want… I don’t want to carry what happened to me always, or let it define me and my relationships. I just… I don’t.”

“Then you will work on that,” Sharona said. “Consider this your personal mission for the next few months - practice active listening and try to hold yourself back from doing anything impulsive. See what happens when you don’t let your first impression of people get the better of you. We can talk after that.”

She looked at Millie again. 

“When she showed up today, covered and bruises, and told me she’d been to see Lyserg, I nearly went and cut the little shit’s head off.”

“But you didn’t. Because you sat down and listened through to the story, and wouldn’t you know it - it was Lyserg’s enemies that did that to her, and Yoh and his friends came and rescued them both.” Sharona nodded, pleased. “See? Lessons.”

“Hence why I feel bad,” Ellie said. “If I hadn’t lost my head in Japan…”

“What?”

She shook her head, embarrassment choking her. They were Team Magnifique. They were playing to win. And she was sitting there, feeling sorry that they couldn’t be part of a group full of cool, strong men. What a fucking joke.

They had been working towards this moment for four years. Ever since the ghosts of their hometown told them there was a tournament for people like them, the girls had been training, desperate to build up enough skill to qualify. She remembered days when she was in so much pain, she could barely keep up a cheery front at work. Nights when she was so hungry she couldn’t sleep. The endless stress and trips to family court and the bi-monthly meetings with the social services case worker who was supposed to ensure that Millie’s “home environment” was “fit for purpose.” 

Every time she’d had to go back to the courthouse, every time she’d had to put up with unfair cross-examination, Ellie reminded herself of the dream. That one day they would be free to drive off, without anybody holding them back, and find other people like them. That they would be free to live as they wanted.

“Don’t let the jury get to you,” Sharona said. 

“I’m trying not to. But—”

“They’re convincing. And they can ask some very good questions, don’t they?” There was a long sigh. “All those what ifs and if onlys… they are so seductive when taken out of context. It’s so easy to make a decision with a cool head and with the benefit of hindsight. Less so when you’re in a situation where you are convinced you might actually die.”

Ellie nodded, glad not to have to explain it. The girls knew. They all knew.

“Here’s the thing, though,” Sharona went on. “The jury’s in your head. Nobody can summon you back to court, because they have no reason to. You have passed the tests. You gained custody. The freaks back home can bay at the judge all they want, they’ve squandered whatever goodwill they had left over when they tried to argue that being a cheerleader made you an unfit guardian.” 

“I mean, the judge almost bought that argument.”

“Yeah. And then you managed to keep your cool, sit there patiently, and recite the line that ‘while you respect Millie’s need to have a relationship with her other family, you are concerned about her wellbeing in their care’. I know I can’t make you accept that we’re in the clear, at least for now. And that there is no guarantee that the freaks won’t try again in a few years. But that’s why we’re doing this for. We are looking for a better life.”

“And I blew it,” Ellie said, vehemently. “If I hadn’t antagonized them all straight out the gate…”

“What? We’d be sitting around a camp fire, singing kumbaya? Please.” Sharona rolled her eyes. “I haven’t seen Sally take such an instant dislike to a group of people since the time she had to stand trial. And Lilly still thinks they’re dangerous to spend too much time with. Unless you have any visions to say the contrary?”

She blushed. “None that make sense.” 

There was a pointed silence. 

“Why did you want us to even reach out to the Asakuras in the first place?” she asked suddenly. “You seemed certain there weren’t any other people who could help us closer to home.”

“It was something a judge said at one of my fights,” Sharona said, crossing her arms. “Something about the Asakura family having some sort of special tie to the tournament. Holding secret knowledge that gave their allies an added edge. I thought… well… we could use all the help we can get.”

Ellie looked at the horizon. Somewhere over the bend, Yoh and his friends were traveling in the back of a beat up truck, hitch-hiking across the desert. It seemed pretty haphazard for a group that had access to secret knowledge.

“Yeah, I know. Maybe I was gullible to believe that,” Sharona said. “I mean… it’s as good as a fairytale, isn’t it? I still wanted to give it a go. At the very least, you and Millie saw Japan.”

“You saved up for that trip for months!” she said, aghast.

“Yes. And we would do it again.” Sharona smiled at her. “Just because we don’t have private jets at our disposal doesn’t mean we can’t have nice things.”

“It’ll be good if we could all have nice things.” She blinked hard, trying not to start crying.

“We will do. When we win and become queens and have everyone cowtow to our every whim. Here…” she pointed at the side of the road. “Let’s trade.”

***

Nice things. It was such a funny way to put it.

Nice things covered a trip abroad, a secret mission, or forgiveness.

They were also hot chocolate on a cold day, a peaceful night’s rest, or a new bottle of nail polish.

In a pinch, they were also taking Millie to the park so that everyone else might get some shut eye. Long car trips were hard enough without an excitable child. They all did what they had to do.

Early morning, as the dew was still on the grass and the townspeople hadn’t started their days were perfect for exercise. They could run, jump, horse around, and nobody would stop to look at them funny. So, for a good hour, they did just that. She chased Millie through the grass, showed her how to do cartwheels, and even started taking her through a routine she’d made up on her last season on the cheer team. 

“Can you do the flips?” Millie asked, when they stopped to take a breather. Ellie groaned. “Come on! Please? I love it when you do the flips.”

“My knees are not what they used to be,” she said, exaggerating a bit. But it was a lost cause - it made Millie happy, which meant she was doing it. 

There was a thrill in her belly as she studied the grass in front of her. They’d been playing all morning so she wasn’t worried that there was anything on it to hurt her. This would be for fun. For fun.

Ellie took a deep breath and threw herself into a series of cartwheels and flips, going backwards and forwards while her knees screamed. She set herself higher and higher, twirling twice, three times, twice again. 

Finally, she landed badly and fell on her ass. 

“Oops.” She laughed, watching Millie cringe and cover her face in secondhand embarrassment. “Guess I went too far.”

“You can stick the landing!” she shouted. “Why do you not stick it!”

“Because it makes you laugh, that’s why.” She ran her fingers through her hair, using the motion to study the tree line. She hadn’t been sure before she’d gotten started but…

_ There. _

Ryu was leaning against a bench, maybe thirty yards or so away from them. Even if she couldn’t make out his features all too well, there was no way there could be two people to match that description in the world, let alone in a small town like this. 

Did active listening go toward just observing a situation? It probably did. She could tell he was wearing something that looked like an exercise outfit, and his weapon was slung over his back. They couldn’t be the only ones using the park to exercise. And he hadn’t approached them so he wasn’t intending them any harm, surely. 

Catching her eye, Ryu nodded once, as though in recognition.

Ellie stood up, dusting herself off. Without dropping his gaze, she curtsied.

The grin he gave in response could have been seen from across town.

Even if they were enemies, even if he had no reason to stop for her or admire what she was doing…

…she still wanted to show off.

Just a bit.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Shaman King.
> 
> This chapter took forever to write. -.-
> 
> Content warning for a brief mention of childhood abuse and assholes misusing the justice system.

_ Present day, Domino Outer Isles _

“Any luck yet?”

Ellie pursed her lips, staring out into the sky. “Nothing yet. Either my gift is used up for the day, or there won’t be any changes soon.” 

Ryu nodded, then slid his palms over her ribs until he had her back pressed against his front. A useless gesture, what with both of them being soaked through to the bone, but at least he had some body warmth to spare. 

Also, he wanted to keep touching her. The giddiness and euphoria from her confession hadn’t dissipated when reality had thundered back around them - if anything, the feelings seemed to grow with every minute that went by. He recognized it was not the time or place to _ act _ on it, but that didn’t stop the wanting. 

He was not the only one. Ellie had leaned into his embrace without question, even though she had _ that _ look about her; the one she had always gotten when she had betrayed more about herself than she’d intended, and was now self-conscious. 

“What vision were you talking about earlier?” he asked, trying to distract them both. “Was it something just now?”

“Hm? Oh, no. That was from years ago.” The tips of her ears turned red. He grinned and kissed the skin behind her left one. 

“That sounds exciting.”

“Hardly.” She heaved a sigh and turned to look at him. “It was mostly feelings and sensations, like this huge sense of despair and panic. I’d almost forgotten about, honestly, but you said something so specific it… well, it reminded me of it instantly.”

Ryu frowned. He’d said a lot of specific things to her, and none of them were particularly pleasant ones. “About that. I lied to you earlier.” He rested his chin on her shoulder, holding her close. “It did hurt when you didn’t say goodbye. The first year especially, it kept running through my head all the time - could I have done this, or said that, changed the outcome in some way. I did move on with my life but… I never fully came to terms with it. However—” he went on, when she opened her mouth “—there are ways I could have said it without hurting you. And for that, I’m sorry.”

Ellie placed her hands atop of his own. “I’m sorry too,” she said. “I know I apologized for the loser comment, but I accept I wasn’t as clear as I could have been about it.”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty.” He watched the sea raging outside. “We created a lot of self-fulfilling prophesies together, didn’t we?”

“Too many.” There was a pause. Her gaze became unfocused and faraway, and he held his breath, bracing his feet in case the vision was not a good one. 

Then she spoke, voice clear and steady. “It never occurred to me that you’d want to hear about my past. I know _ now _ how it came across,” she said, “but at the time, I just wanted to draw a line over it and start anew.”

“Can you ever start anew?” he asked. 

Ellie shrugged. “I wanted to try. My God, did I want to try. There was stuff that was still so raw--” She splayed out her fingers, staring as if mesmerized by the differences in the sizes of their hands. “You know, Millie’s not really my sister, right?”

“Right.”

“Did you also know she has more relatives?” 

He didn’t. Ellie chuckled, but her voice was devoid of any humor. “My hometown is a funny place. Someone can be a child abuser and a rapist, but their family would still demand custody and visitation rights for their offspring, regardless of the circumstance. I got custody of Millie as soon as I turned seventeen, and every year between then and us leaving for the tournament, one of that man’s relatives would file a claim with the family courts. By the end of it, I knew the name of every clerk and secretary in the county.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. Because how else could he respond? Suddenly, every comment he’d made to her during the tournament came back to him in a terrifying new light. “So when someone asked why you girls didn’t have sufficient food or clothes—”

“Pretty much word for word the same arguments they were making.” Ellie smiled grimly. “Other times, they said that I could not possibly be a fit mother because I accepted help from my other friends. My favorite was when they brought pictures of me in my cheerleader uniform and tried to convince a judge that I must have seduced my foster father because _ look at how I was flaunting my body now. _ Like they could not possibly imagine me experiencing even a smidgen of joy as an adult.” She shook her head.

Ryu opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out. He thought that he was prepared for what she might tell him if she ever trusted him enough with the truth, but this… he never realized he’d feel ashamed or embarrassed. Or how painful it would be. 

_ People only want the truth when it’s convenient to them. _ Now he was starting to see just why she might hesitate. Listening to how others had treated her - and how he, inadvertently, had added to that - made him want to crawl into a hole and die. 

“I suppose I was lucky,” Ellie went on. “Their arguments never held any water, and they were too cheap to hire a legal representative. The last judge found them for contempt of court and threatened them with a fine if they kept bringing in frivolous lawsuits. But I don’t know… I have no idea what would have happened if I hadn’t left. I think half their fun came from making me poor and flustered.”

“I’d have done worse things than just leaving,” Ryu muttered.

“Yes, well… Sally and Lilly offered, but they already got into trouble when my foster father was nearly released early.” She shrugged, as his arms tightened around her. “He didn’t. Don’t worry. But it got ugly. Earned us a lot of enemies, too, and necessitated keeping a low profile, at least until Millie was eighteen.”

“No wonder you were so upset today,” Ryu muttered. “Tomorrow’s a really big deal for all of you, isn’t it?”

“First time we have ever allowed ourselves to be at such a well-publicized event. Even when Sharona had her kids, she kept her face out of the limelight as much as possible.”

“Fuck, Ellie. I know I asked but… I’m so sorry.”

She turned in his arms and pressed her lips to his. “If I had known—” she started, then shook her head and pressed it against the crook of his shoulder “—if I had realized how much that mattered to you, I’d have told you. I honestly didn’t think you’d want to get that deep with me at the time. Or that I deserved to ask that of you.”

“Look at me.” His voice was rough, rougher than he intended, but he couldn’t help it. His fingers tightened in her hair until she raised her face. “You deserve it - you deserve everything. I’d go to the depths of hell with you if you asked me.” 

Ellie’s expression softened. “Thank you.” She inhaled sharply, closing her eyes. “I think our chance is coming.”

“This isn’t over,” he said as she pulled out of his arms. “You’re not allowed to have such a low opinion of yourself if I have anything to do about it.”

She looked at him, up and down and up again. Then her lips twisted in a wicked smile, as though he’d issued a challenge. 

And she was picking up the gauntlet. 

“Tell you what,” she said, undoing the top two buttons of her shirt, “if we get back to dry land without being struck by lighting, I’ll consider… hearing your argument.”

“I’ll show you consider.” He took his jacket off and threw it over her head, before grabbing her arm and leading them outside. 

***

They stripped their outer layers in the foyer, careful not to trail sand and rainwater everywhere as they made their way back to the attic. He remembered himself enough to make a quip about her just wanting to see him in his underwear, to which Ellie replied with a snort. “What did you think I was doing when you came out of that shower?”

Before he could fully process what she’d said, she was pushing him towards said shower, muttering how they were both about to catch their deaths thanks to him. “I’ll take my underwear off,” he warned playfully while she dumped their clothes in the sinks. 

“It would defeat the purpose of having them on.” 

Ryu was about to say something about her being mean when she peeled her camisole off, and all the blood in his body headed south. 

“Were you… trying to seduce me earlier?” he asked as she finished stripping and joined him under the spray. 

“Don’t get excited. I got through the dressing up bit and then forgot what to do.” She kissed him, pressing her body against his. “Had to break out the sewing kit just to get out of my own head.”

Ouch. He knew what that was like. 

He was thankful, nonetheless. He didn’t know if they’d be having this moment had she succeeded earlier. “Want me to take over? I believe you had a fondness for flat vertical surfaces.” Ryu nipped her ear, causing her to laugh. His hands roamed, memorizing every curve and dip of her body. Her skin was growing warm. It would be so easy to just take her… he gripped her hips, ready to lift her when she suddenly pinned him to the wall. 

“Nah, I’m feeling adventurous tonight.” 

“Oh? Do tell.” He swallowed as she gripped his length and squeezed him at the root. “Please?”

“Well, first of all, I was thinking a good tongue lashing was in order, since you take such a hard stance against self-esteem issues.” She emphasized that point by licking his chest and using her free hand to tease his nipple. 

He had to start counting backwards from 1000. He was not ready for the evening to end prematurely.

“Remind me again, which one of us needs that more,” he managed.

“Which one of us ran into the rain first?”

“Point taken. What else?” he asked when she moved to the other side of his chest.

“You might want to hold onto something for this bit. I think we should use the bed.” Her hand was moving up and down his length now, pausing every now and again to run her thumb over the head. Ryu gripped her waist, thrusting a little into her grip. Damn it. He’d forgotten what it was to be with a woman that was as strong as he was. One with whom he could lose himself completely.

“My goodness. Radical.” He groaned. “What exactly shall we do in that bed?”

“You seem to like it when I have my way with you. So I think I’ll keep that up if you don’t mind.” She sucked on the skin right over his heart. “I’d like to take my time since we haven’t had a chance to do this in the light before. I’ll enjoy seeing you come apart under me.” 

“Capital idea. And what will I do during that time?”

Ellie look up at him. Her hair was plastered all over her face and breasts, her lips were as red as blood, and her expression was positively diabolic. Possibly the most erotic thing he had seen in his life. 

“Depends. If you don’t behave yourself, I might have to find something to tie you up with.” She squeezed him again. 

“I see,” he said, even though there were dark spots dancing in his eyes at the moment. “And that’s the plan then?”

“That’s the rough outline, yes. I like room to improvise. Any objections?”

“Just the one.” 

She yelped when he grabbed hold of her wrists and turned her around so that she was pressed against the wall, hands pinned high above her head. He took a second to switch the water off, before snaking a hand to her front and cupping her mound. Ellie turned to look at him over her shoulder, panting. “What’s the objection?” she asked.

Ryu bit her shoulder lightly, making her whimper. “Ladies come first.” 

***

She did end up putting her evil plan into action, although he drew the line at having his hands tied with his own belt. “Some other time,” he whispered while he thrust up into her. “I want to feel you tonight.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said, rolling her hips. He held her closer, kissing her neck, stupidly happy that there might be a ‘next time’. And another one. And one after that. 

At least he hadn’t lost any of his touch with his so-called ‘old age’. Any nervousness he’d had about it not being as good as nine years ago had dissipated the moment she’d unraveled for the first time. The second he’d seen the giddy expression on her face, he’d known there was nothing to worry about. They were good together a decade ago. They were even better now. 

Sometime late at night, he got up to make tea, putting milk and sugar to the point where it was more dessert than a beverage. “Alright,” he said, returning to the bed. “You’re going to drink this now, and I won’t hear any objections, okay?”

“Bossy.” Ellie muttered, as he helped her sit up and propped her against his chest. 

“Passing out from hunger is not allowed here.” He kissed the top of her head while trailing his hands over her sides. “You have no idea how many times I wished we could have done this.”

“Yeah… in hindsight, having sex in the sand this one time wasn’t such a great idea,” she said, after a long deliberation. “And we almost did get caught out when we did it in the rock quarry.”

“Both very valid points. But not what I meant.” He took the empty mug from her and set it on the floor, before kissing her hand. “We could never just… take our time, could we?”

“Maybe. We made up for it some today, though.” 

“Not nearly enough for my liking.” He still felt like he didn’t know so much about her. He wanted to know about her likes and dislikes. What other dreams she was trying to fulfill, now that Millie was making her own way into the world. When had she learned Japanese enough to sass him back, and whether she’d be willing to learn some more. “You know what else I wish I’d done?”

“No.” She shifted so that she was lying on top of him. “Tell me.”

“I never got to cook for you. That seems like a grave oversight on my part.”

“You made us sushi once.”

“And then remembered that Sally couldn’t eat any of it.”

“She said we looked like we enjoyed it, which is what matters.” Ellie kissed the center of his chest. “Millie said it was the best she’s ever had.”

“Had she eaten any before?”

“We did have some at Narita airport once…”

“That’s not sushi.”

“We didn’t know that then.” She shrugged. “Honestly, after the mess we made, we could have been eating dirt and not noticed.”

Ryu squeezed her hips. “We didn’t get the best start, did we?”

“No. I was still learning not to attack people when they were just trying to get to know me.” She paused. “And, to be honest, I’d never been abroad before. I was so overwhelmed by everything and I kept thinking someone might snatch Millie away.”

“Think you’ll be up for a redo?” he asked. “Hopefully sometime soon?”

“Oh, I see where this is going…” She rolled her eyes, then rolled on her back as his ministrations became more purposeful. 

Ryu followed her, propping up on his elbow to get a good look at her. All of her.

_ Gods, but he loved that woman. _ In all her cruelty and contradictions, he loved her.

And, judging from the adoration in her expression, her own feelings were not that far off the mark either. When that had happened, or how, he didn’t know. But if she could look at a loser like him with those eyes, then maybe there was some hope left in the world after all. 

“I don’t want to wait another ten years to see you,” he said, and it was the honest, most truest thing he could think of.

Her fingers tightened on him, and then she was kissing him, whispering against his mouth. “I’ll tell you a secret. Neither do I.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly at the end y'all.
> 
> I don't own Shaman King.
> 
> This takes place after episode 18 of the anime, although the events were described in detail in episode 29.

_ Japan, nine years ago _

Sometimes you just had to focus on the positives, even when they were few and far in between.

Ellie trekked up the mountain, one eye on Millie, and one on the path in front of her. She’d heard some of the local townspeople talk about how travelers disappeared in the forest, and though she could hold her own in a fight, she didn’t want to find out just what was capable of ‘disappearing’ people around here.

There were ghosts in the trees, sure enough. But none came closer. Either they sensed ghost-talkers or they simply didn’t care.

Or maybe, she decided, the stories were a bunch of bullshit.

“Ohmigod, Ellie, come look at that view!” 

“Don’t stand too close to the edge,” she said automatically. “I’m serious, Millie!”

“It’s not even that big of a drop—”

Because that was such a comforting thought… she was still hurting a little from that fall she’d had the other day. 

Shaking her head, Ellie followed the path, noting with some amusement that you could find abandoned clothes, even in this area.

In fact…

She frowned, staring down the brambles. That was a very distinctive article of clothing lying there. It looked suspiciously familiar. 

“Millie!” she shouted, running down the path. This could not be happening. She would not allow it. Not in the least.

Her daughter gave her a funny look as she nearly fell down the ravine in her haste to get to her. “Are you okay Elle?” she asked, blinking.

“Mills, we’ve got to go back.”

“Why? We just got here.”

_ Because there is a naked man running around the mountain. _ She stopped herself short of saying that, knowing too well Millie would just think she was riling her up. 

The last year especially had been difficult for them, between the qualifiers and having to win three matches each. The hardest thing Ellie had had to do was sit by and watch her fight unassisted. The second hardest had been convincing her that certain unpleasantness was for her own good, like spending token amounts of time with her other family. Millie had threatened to stop talking to her after a particularly gruesome visit. In truth, Ellie would have stopped speaking to herself after that, too.

But now they were here and they were having fun. Could she really ruin it because she’d seen a discarded shirt? For all she knew, this was from days ago.

“Ugh… I just have a bad feeling about this place,” she said.

“Well… can we at least walk until the next marker? I’d like to see more of the valley.”

_ If he attacks us, I can hold him off for long enough, _ Ellie consoled herself, as she acquiesced. It wasn’t like Millie didn’t know what to do in situations like this, either. 

Still… part of her couldn’t enjoy this time in nature fully. Her mind kept pulling her in all directions, this way and that. If she’d only reacted in a slightly different way, or had been less rash in her actions, or… she didn’t know. 

She’d held onto some hope that coming here would help - if not her, then Millie at least. If people just saw how powerful the little one was, surely they would offer her training and tutelage. Ellie’s own powers were mediocre, but maybe, with the right training, Millie would stand a better chance in the fight.

And what did she do? She acted like a right tit and blew any chance they had of making friends. Because she assumed any group that would harm a small boy like Manta could not possibly be a safe place for Millie. 

Rash, fool-hardy, obstinate…

“Ellie! Look at this!” Millie was pointing to a plant, seemingly mystified and enchanted by its form. They took a moment to locate it in their pocket guide and for Millie to take a quick sketch, before moving forward. 

“This place is gorgeous,” she kept saying. “I’m so glad we came.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” Ellie said. “Do stay on the path for me, okay?”

Millie stuck out her tongue, but did as possible, only skipping a few meters ahead to locate some other plant or bird she wanted to sketch out.

Those were the moments that warmed her heart. Despite all the sadness, despite all the trials, they were here. Millie could still play and be happy and, most of all, _ be a kid _, and every now and again, Ellie was lucky enough to partake in the joy with her. When they were together and happy and safe, it made all the horrors and sadness and heartbreak a little more bearable. 

She took a deep breath. Studied the scenery. They were both alive and well. They would have other chances, other ways to win. None of the other girls had been too sad about the failure of the first plan. They’d regroup, learn, and overcome.

As they always did.

“Um, Ellie?” 

“Yeah, munchkin.”

“There’s a naked man in the ravine.”

Ellie nearly fell over the edge again in her haste to pull Millie back under the cover of the trees. Only, the little one didn’t seem very scared. If anything, her curiosity seemed piqued by her mother’s reaction. “I don’t think he saw us.”

_ Some consolation that was, _ Ellie thought, pushing a shrub aside to see what was happening on the river bed. 

Sure enough, it was the man they had attacked a few days ago. Bokuto no Ryu, Manta had called him. Ryu of the Wooden Stick, more like, she thought as she tried really hard not to stare at his body. Why the hell was he trekking the mountain without shoes, or indeed, any other clothes besides a loincloth, she didn’t know. In fact, the more she saw of him, the more convinced she became that she and Millie better get out of there, fast.

“Why do you think he’s arguing with his guardian spirit?” Millie asked. 

She had no idea, but she was getting concerned about the rumble coming from the summit. In fact, there had been a rumble for a long time, but she just assumed it was the river…

“We’ve got to move. Quickly. So does he…” Ellie could see Tokageroh going into the wooden rod, so maybe he had some kind of trick to fend off rapidly flowing water. Either way, the floor was around the corner and she didn’t want Millie anywhere near the edge, and why the hell wasn’t he moving yet…

The vision hit her at the same moment as Ryu raised his Oversoul and split the flood in two. The water flowed on either side of him, miraculously sparing him from death, while her own mind span out of control, lost into the spiderweb of the future.

For what felt like a century, she stared out, unable to either move or speak. There was Ryu - the one in the ravine, who seemed to become one with the river. But she could also see another version of him - older and more mature, judging by the length of his hair - standing much closer and beaming happily at her. It wasn’t a very special vision by itself, and yet what floored her was the intense feeling of adoration, of… of closeness that swept through her. It was as though her whole heart filled with emotion, to the point of near bursting.

“Ellie! Ellie!”

She shook her head, breathing rapidly. “I… we… we need to go.”

“He’s okay,” Millie was saying, squeezing her hand. “Don’t panic. He’s okay.”

“Why would I— of course he’s okay. He just—” she didn’t even have words for what he’d done. Ellie swallowed hard, watching as he got to the shore, dripping river water and holding on tightly to the stick which had somehow transformed itself into a traditional _ bokuto _ in between him performing the Oversoul. His guardian spirit - a large green man - kept fluttering nervously around him, as though shocked that his master was still alive. 

This guy wasn’t just an opponent. He was fucking dangerous. Ellie shuddered, unable to shake off what she had witnessed - both in person and in her vision. It was only because of Millie that she pulled herself back together - enough to get them both on the path and on the way back to the car. 

“We are so screwed,” Millie kept muttering. “We are so, so screwed.”

“He didn’t see us,” Ellie said, finally getting her vocal chords to work. They walked as fast as they dared, afraid of falling in the unfamiliar terrain. If she could grow wings, she would. Good grief, she’d give anything to be able to fly them out of this forest.

“I don’t mean that right now!” her little girl whimpered. “If we face off against him… or others like him in the fight… we’re done for, Ellie. We’re toast!”

It was a terrible idea, but she stopped. Kneeling in front of Millie, she grabbed hold of both her shoulders and made her look at her.

“Listen to me right now, Milicent Ward. Whatever happens in the fight, anybody who wants to harm you will have to go through me, Sally, Lilly and Sharona. I don’t care what the judges say - if they raise a hand on you outside of a regulated fight, they will have all of us to answer to. Understood?”

“But… but…” Millie pointed vaguely at where they’d come from. “All our opponents were idiots. This guy’s no idiot.”

“Then we’ll have to get smart to defeat him. Come on,” Ellie picked her up. “Let’s go to the car. We’ll talk this through later.”

“I don’t wanna die, Ellie.”

“I won’t let you, munchkin.” It was an impossible promise, of course. Death came for everyone. But she did hope she could hold it off for as long as possible. At the very least, she’d proved that getting out of their hometown was possible - now she just had to make the change stick.

Scary opponents or not. She had to give it her best shot, or else die trying.

***

It wasn’t until they had put enough miles between them and the mountain that Ellie stopped to even consider her vision. Millie needed a good while to settle down, and then there were the other girls who had to be briefed on what they just witnessed. She wasn’t at all surprise when Sharona had ordered them to keep their distance from the Asakura family and their friends for now. Honestly, the idea that she could convince any of these people to take Millie, let alone any of the others on as apprentices seemed laughable now.

She went into a service station slowly, scanning the motorcycle park, even though she knew Ryu could not have possibly overtaken them yet. If nothing else, he needed some rest after his great victory, or whatever he’d been doing in that ravine. He had no business chasing after them. It was demonstratively counter-productive.

Ellie pressed her hands to her face, trying to breathe normally. 

“You had a vision up there, didn’t you?” Millie asked.

“Yes.”

“Was it… was it any good?” She’d learned not to ask about specifics - after all, most of the time Ellie just got impressions or various sensations, never the full picture. 

The problem was that Ellie had no idea what she’d seen. That Ryu had survived nearly being mauled by a flood was self-explanatory; that he would grow out his hair seemed to make sense, too. 

But where did he get off smiling at her like that? And, more importantly, where did she get off feeling affection for him of all people? He was a weirdo, an opponent, and an absolute pig. Why would she ever find that attractive? 

It wasn’t just the kind of feeling she’d had that bothered her; it was the intensity of it, how it lingered in her body even after hours had passed. The only time she’d felt more strongly was when the grumpy midwife had given her Millie to hold for the first time. The kind of love she’d felt in that moment had been so great, so encompassing, there was nothing on this world that could match it; nor was there a person in her mind who could monopolize her heart in such a way.

That was still true. And yet, the fact she would feel even a fraction of that towards _ this _ guy of all people… it was shocking. 

“I…” she hesitated, then swallowed. “I don’t think Ryu is going to be our enemy. He… he might be for a while, but I think… I think my vision is telling me that won’t always be the case.”

“That’s good,” Millie said. “I’d hate to be on the receiving end of… whatever it is that he did today. Did you… see more?”

“I’m not sure what to make of it, honestly.” She rubbed her forehead. “Maybe I need food.”

“Let’s get curry then. Spicy food always helps you think.”

Spicy, yes… it also lifted her mood, something that Millie no doubt sensed she needed. That poor girl… she was already so attuned to her emotions, Ellie didn’t want to imagine what it would be like when she started having periods or thinking about boys or falling in love…

She turned beet red, as she realized that from now on, whenever she saw Ryu of the Wooden Sword, she’d be having flashbacks to that vision. As if she needed any help humiliating herself in front of Asakura and his friends! Ellie could only hope the feelings would fade in time, as they always did. She didn’t need to feel phantom love, or wonder just how much she’d revealed of herself to have him look at her in the way that he had. 

_ Dear God, please don’t tell me that I actually fell for his bullshit. _

Whatever had led her to feeling this way, it had to be some kind of malignant magic. She already had someone who was more precious to her than anything in the world. She would never abandon Millie, not for anything in the world.

The only other explanation was that she was more mistaken about Ryu’s character than she ever thought. If that was the case…

_ …The only silver lining, _ she thought, following Millie into the service station, _ And I mean the only one in this whole mess, is that this means there will be a day when Millie does not need me anymore. That she will be safe and happy and independent. Only then would I ever have space in my heart to love again. _

It seemed implausible, but that was the thing about her gift. It never truly delivered as she expected it to.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last time, y'all.
> 
> I don't own Yu Gi Oh or Shaman King.
> 
> With regard to current events, I have listed a few links and organisations at the end of this chapter. I know this doesn't get much readership but if my work gives you pleasure, please donate. Sign petitions. Call your elected representatives, if you are in the USA. I'm not, but I want to use whatever platform I have to help.
> 
> Please. Thank you.

_ Present day, Domino Outer Isles _

He kept his eyes closed as she slipped out of bed, quelling his first instinct, to pull her back in and resume whatever they’d been doing before they’d drifted off to sleep. There was a rustle, soft footfalls, then the twitching of curtains followed by a soft sigh. Outside, the rain fell and fell.

But it wasn’t the deafening roar of the storm, nor was the wind batting at the windowpanes. A lull? Or was it finally winding down?

Something buzzed - a phone set to silent. He listened as she rushed across the hardwood floor, and cracked one eye open in time to see her fumble with the sheet as she picked up. 

“Hey,” Ellie said, turning. He was rewarded with the most adorable blush he’d ever seen. “Yeah, Lil, I was just looking. No… no, I haven’t got a clue if the weather report is wrong, but I’ll go to the marina just in case.”

_** Seems like things worked out fine, **_ Tokageroh said, poking his head through the wall and hovering by Ryu. _** Congratulations. **_

_ ** You seem awfully smug, old friend. ** _

_**I know you, boy. What do you think I’ve been doing all these years besides look after you? **_ The old robber raised a hand in greeting and Ellie raised hers back. The sheet dropped a notch. _** Gotta say, I’m glad you at least got someone you wanted for once. It was painful to watch you these last few years.**_

_**Thanks. I… appreciate that, I guess. **_

“Sharona is right to take away his keys, he can be a right idiot when he wants to be,” Ellie was saying, looking out again. “I’ll go to the marina and see if any boats will be departing today. The wind has died down and the rain is letting off, so maybe I’ll get lucky.”

_**What’s she upset about then?**_ Tokageroh asked.

_** She’s due at a wedding today. It’s on an island fifteen miles from here, give or take. **_ Ryu glanced at his guardian, pensive. _**It’s kind of a big deal to her.**_

_ **Oh, please don’t tell me—** _

_**Why would I not be? It seems like the sort of challenge you can tell the other ghosts about. **_

Ellie turned to look at them, frowning. Their mental conversation was clearly not as hidden as they thought it was, because she mouthed _ what is going on? _ at both of them. Then her attention was drawn toward the phone again.

“Lilly Ward! You were not a Bridezilla until this moment, you will not turn into one on my behalf.”

_**Fifteen miles wouldn’t be too hard, considering other things we have done, **_ Ryu went on. _**In fact, we were able to fight Hao at less than full strength, and we still won.**_

_**True. And you’re practically sparkling with energy right now. **_ Tokageroh frowned, thinking. Across the room, Ellie raised an eyebrow.

“Hold on, Lilly, Ryu is consulting his guardian,” she said, looking confused. Lilly said something that caused her to frown deeper. “Yes, my Ryu. Who else would I be talking about?” she said, exasperated. 

A second later she blushed redder, turning her back to him. 

_**It’ll be thirty by the time we get there and back.**_ Tokageroh said, staring at Ryu’s shit-eating grin. _**Sure. Piece of piss. I’d like to see another punk do that.**_

_**You’re a legend, old friend.**_

His guardian rolled his eyes and then disappeared through the wall. _**I’ll see you two outside. I don’t wanna know the outcome of this conversation.**_

Ryu was already standing up. Ellie’s shoulders had just started to come down around her ears, when he wrapped his arms around her middle, causing her to yelp and squirm. 

“Yes?” She was still on the phone. “Yes, of course I’m fine. I’m talking to you, amn’t I?”

_ “Damn it woman, you meet the guy you’ve been pining for and you just tell me now? Be grateful it’s my wedding day or I might not be so magnanimous.” _

“May I?” Ryu asked.

Ellie looked at him beseechingly, then said, “I’m handing him over. Be nice.”

He kissed her neck, before taking the handset from her. “Good morning, Lilly,” he said, in the only tone of voice that was appropriate for meeting your lover’s family. “I’ve just convened with my guardian spirit. He will be more than happy to deliver Ellie to you and then take me back to the isle. What time do you need her for?”

There was a long, ominous silence. Then Lilly said: _ "Well, I'll be damned." _

"Is this the part where you ask me about my intentions toward your friend?" 

_ "She let you touch her, I don't need to ask about your intentions." _ Pause. _ "But just for the record, you hurt her in any way she doesn't like, you will have four very pissed off women to deal with. Is that understood? _

"Absolutely." Although as far as he was concerned, they were forever finished with the pain. He wanted to see how they were like outside, into the big world. He wanted to get to know her people and introduce her to his own. He wanted to hold her in the street, not just when it was raining and all the bystanders were hidden away. He wanted arguments about petty, insignificant things like loading the dishwasher wrong and where they might go on their next road trip.

And the next time life got her down, he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to celebrate her successes and wanted to be her shoulder to lean on when she was sad. He wanted to lend her his strength and bask in her joy. And he would have that - Ryu knew it with an absolute certainty that he would have all of that, because it was what she wanted, too. Everything else - where they lived, how they worked, their friends' feelings on the matter - it was all just window dressing.

_ “Good. Glad we got this out of the way. Now, what do you mean, take you back to the isle?” _

“Um…” He frowned. “I mean, we’ll drop Ellie off and then get out of your hair?”

_ “What are you, a taxi service?” _ the bride huffed, and he had a sudden vision of punishment on par with Ana and Tamao combined. _ “If you’re going to take Ellie here, you might as well stay so that you can go back together. There’s bound to be a spare set of clothes for you around here somewhere, this is a damned castle after all… tell me something, Ryu, is Ellie red in the face yet? _

He looked. “As red as the most exquisite rose you’d ever see,” he said, causing her to cover her face in her hands and groan.

_ “And is she flustered?” _

“Very much so.”

_ “Can’t have that. I need her happy and relaxed, for this.” _ There was a pause, as though she were nodding to herself. _ “Have her here by ten, and if you’re not both grinning like absolute fools, then I will be severely displeased. Got it?” _

“Yes, ma’am.” 

_ “It’s 5.30 AM. If you fly at 60 miles per hour and wait for an opportune gust of wind, you will be here in no time. I expect that’ll be enough time. Tell Ellie I love her.” _

“You’ll tell her yourself.”

Ellie’s face was still behind her hands when he hung up and turned her around. “Come on, none of that,” he said, taking her wrists gently. “It wasn’t so bad.”

“I asked her to be nice,” she said, visibly distressed. “I told her to. She’s horrid.”

“She’s your friend and she wants you to be safe and happy and at her wedding. That’s a wonderful thing.” Ryu debated asking her what Lilly had meant about that pining comment, then decided to leave it. There were more important matters at hand. “Speaking of which, we’ll probably have to get a shower before we head out. I don’t know about the kind of wedding Lilly has planned, but I doubt we’ll be able to take our time when we get there.”

From the look in her eyes, she could tell what he was planning to do to her in that shower, and she did not mind it in the least. But before he could do more than say her name, she pulled him in for a kiss - a soft, sweet kiss, one that made his knees buckle and his heart skip several beats. “What did I do to deserve you?” she asked, pulling back, eyes glittering.

“You’re you,” he replied, yanking the sheet off her body and picking her up. “I’d lay the world at your feet if you let me.”

“I don’t need the world,” she said, then turned serious. “Are you sure you want to stay? You might get roped into caring for the children. They’re lovely but if they decide to act like hellions…”

“I’ll make sure to impress them sufficiently.”

“And the guys… they’re perfectly nice, but they can be snooty bastards when they’re stressed.”

“Lucky for me, I’ve dealt with Ren Tao in the past.” He set her down into the bathroom and paused to get the water just right. 

“I’ll probably be running around all day, fixing hems and sleeves and…”

“Ellie,” he pulled her closer, “we’ll be spending this day together, even if we are apart. And we will do the same for the day after, and the one after that, and every one forthwith until you get tired of me.”

“We’ve got the gift of time now,” he said, watching her grin through tears. “And I intend to use it to its fullest.”

“And the details will work themselves out?”

Ryu smiled down on her, and was gratified to see her expression light up with understanding. “That, my dear, is exactly so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> I don't live in the USA. I don't have much of a platform. I'm not able to attend any marches.
> 
> But I want to use whatever platform I have to spread information and help. I have listed a few links and organisations here and at some of my other fics. If my work gives you pleasure, please donate. Sign petitions. Call your elected representatives, if you are in the USA. Keep yourselves informed and alert if you aren't.
> 
> Please. Thank you.
> 
> Organizations, Petitions & Go Fund Me:  
(these links come from Bailey Sarians latest video, she had great links so I'll use the same, go check out her video right here: https://youtu.be/iig8BEP-sOw )  
Color Of Change - https://colorofchange.org/  
Movement For Black Lives - https://m4bl.org/  
NAACP - https://www.naacpldf.org/  
Undocublack -https://undocublack.org/  
Petition for George Floyd - https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?utm_source=brand_us&utm_medium=media  
Minnesota Freedom Fun - https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/  
Reclaim The Block - https://secure.everyaction.com/zae4prEeKESHBy0MKXTIcQ2  
Go Fund Me For George Floyd Family - https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd


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